


Hearts In Sync~

by C_A_T_M



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Can u tell im in love with jungwoo, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fansite, Fluff, Idols, If its italics during speech or tweets its english, Leave comments im desperate, No Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reader-Insert, Soulmates, The multiple sides of haechan, They might be 19 but they still babies, chapters will be longer, whoops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2019-10-21 12:57:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 49,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17643275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/C_A_T_M/pseuds/C_A_T_M
Summary: When soulmates are meant to be bliss, what happens when there are more problems than good that come from them? Would it be worth risking it all for a few seconds of gratification? Neither of them knew, but they were willing to work out the answer.





	1. Meet

**Author's Note:**

> Any speech/tweets in italics are english

The engine rumbled under his feet, his excitement steadily increasing with every second they were on the road. Buildings and lights illuminated the streets, covering the tarmac and concrete in various hues of neon lights. The true essence of Seoul. 

They were finally going to perform their new song 'regular' and he couldn't have been more ecstatic. This come back stage was interesting (at least to him) and the thrill of performing something new was always welcome.

Being up on the stage was something he loved with his whole heart, why wouldn't he be bouncing with excitement?

However that seemed to be a problem with everyone else in the car, a few of the older members glancing at him sideways as he continued to squirm in his seat until finally Doyoung had lost his patience.

"Hey, sit still. Fidgeting won't make you get there faster. Stop moving around so much," and with all the maturity expected from an 18 year old, he stuck out his tongue and turned away from his hyung - earning a roll of his eyes from Doyoung, contrasted only by a fond smile.

However, only seconds later he was back to his regular antics, bouncing his leg up and down with irritation colouring Doyoung's brow, his mouth opening to scold his junior for the second time 

"Dongh-"

"Look!" He interrupted, a faint snigger heard in the back that likely belonged to Mark, "we're here!"

Practically jumping out of the car as soon as it pulled up, he moved away before he could hear any of Doyoung's further rambling and began to look around the crowd. 

People were cheering and there were paparazzi everywhere, the atmosphere electric as he waved happily; a wide grin decorating his gloss stained lips. Hearing the cheers of NCTzens always brought a smile to his face and even to grumpy Doyoung's, who was now smiling brightly and waving at various fans. 

127 began filing out of the car, but with him having fled out first, he was a little ahead and had to wait to so they could all enter in together. 

Guards covered the entrance, slightly dipping their heads upon making eye contact with him and urging him to walk forwards. However he wasn't ready to walk in just yet, he wanted to interact a little. Maybe it was fan service but it also came from a place of genuine adoration. 

He was so grateful for every one of his fans, even if some of them had a warped sense of boundaries. 

Walking upto the blockades, he swore he went deaf for a moment as screams erupted, shouts of his name filling his ears as fans held out their hands in hopes of a high touch. 

It wouldn't hurt, right? It was just a high five after all. 

Risking a glance towards his hyungs, they were still posting a little for pictures and walking at a moderate speed towards the entrance. 

He ran along the length of the barricade, high fiving people along the way and laughing loudly at their cheers. His eyes were closed and he was in his element.

'Come on,' Yuta mouthed once his eyes opened again, dipping his head towards the guards that hadn't moved and inch since they'd arrive, and probably before then as well.

However, just as he was about to walk away, he heard a camera click at his side and he recognised the girl behind the camera as a Johnny and Yuta fansite. She wasn't always around at every event but at the vast majority of them, appearing enough for him to see and recognise her anyway. 

Pointing a finger to himself, the doe eyed girl nodded and smiled, grinning brightly as he posed and she snapped pictures of him in various silly poses. 

"Thank you!" Her gratitude was faintly heard, mostly drowned out by the other people who were cheering - now for another group that had pulled up to the venue. 

Merely nodding, he threw up a thumbs up and was just about to turn around when he noticed the fansite nudge someone at her side and say something in english that was too quick for his untrained ear. 

He wasn't really a nosy person but he would be lying if he said he wasn't interested: especially since the girl had glanced at him for a split second while talking. 

"High touch?" She asked, it was simple request and he couldn't see why he wouldn't be able to, if he hurried anyway. 

Almost frantically, his hand connected with hers and was let go within a few seconds. It was only then, did his gaze fall on the figure stood beside the fansite. They were mostly covered, a mask on their face and a large coat obscuring their features. Their hood was pulled up, only thing visible was their warm, yet indifferent, eyes. He would have joked that they looked like an undercover idol if he had the time. 

"Hi touch?" He spoke, uncertain to whether they would accept, but they did and their (surprisingly) heated hand and eyes met his. 

Just like that, as soon as it had began, the contact was lost and he was jogging away, blowing kisses to everyone and thanking them for being there before eventually being dragged in by Johnny who only tutted and laughed at his dongsaengs behaviour.

The idol life was what he chose, even if it was hard sometimes, and he wouldn't have changed it for the world. 


	2. Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any speech in italics is english

The night was cold, the frigid temperature passing through her thick coat and causing shivers to travel down her spine - goosebumps following in its wake as she trembled. 

Time ticked 6pm, the sky already dark and rather dim as winter set in, covering the country of South Korea in a navy haze. What should have been beautiful and calming was only causing irritation within her. 

" _Sorry, I know it must be annoying for you. You can go back to the hotel if you want, I won't keep you here,_ " Her friend, Yeonha, spoke with an apologetic glance over her shoulder, the professional camera and guilt weighing heavy on her chest. 

She only shook her head, dismissing her friend's concerns with a soft smile that couldn't be seen behind the mask on her face. " _It's fine. You like them and I like you, I'd rather be here then be drinking over priced Pepsi at the hotel_ ".

Yeonha laughed, tugging her closer with a glove covered hand and amusement on her delicate features. Warmth and youth coated her tan skin, overshadowed by the night that was falling. "You're cute, _that's why you're my friend,_ " she was willing to bare so much more than this stupid cold if it meant that her friend was happy and got to see her idols. 

They'd gotten to the venue early, packing some snacks and such in the big backpack she was carrying on her shoulders, while Yeonha lugged around her heavy (and expensive!) camera. This meant that they were touching the barricade, directly at the front with a clear view of everyone that went in or out through the main entrance. 

She herself wasn't too interested in idols, only really listening to a few groups here and there whenever she was in the mood for it, but her friend was the opposite; stanning so many groups they well surpassed 30. However, NCT and Monsta X were her favourites and she made it priority to try and maintain a decent fansite of them. 

Even if she wasn't aware of who was weaving in and out of the venue, it was interesting to see who was who and how different idols interacted with people. The life of fame certainly wasn't her cup of tea but she didn't judge the people who liked it.

" _Do you know roughly when they'll be here?_ " Yeonha hummed, head turning to the right as she leaned slightly over the barrier towards the stretch of empty road. 

" _I'm not too sure, I hope soon. I have dinner to make and as much as I love them, they're not holding my food hostage,_ " It was her turn to laugh, shaking her head at her friends silly sense of humour.

" _Who will you take pictures of?_ " There wasn't really a particular person Yeonha focused on, opting to take pictures of whoever was there and in frame, however sometimes it was best to focus on one person instead of all 18.

" _I want Johnny and Yuta_ ," Nodding, she shoved her hands in her pockets and prayed that this wouldn't take much longer - she could feel her fingers starting to develop frostbite. 

The chatter and buzz of people around her was nice, hearing bits and pieces of people's conversation was always a fun thing to do, even if unintentional. Wiggling her toes in her shoes wasn't doing much to generate warmth either, her breath forming little clouds that dispersed into the atmosphere.

She knew she'd said she'd rather stay here, but that over priced Pepsi was beginning to sound rather delicious. 

A sudden poke to her ribs drew her attention, eyes drifting to Yeonha who was bouncing up and down with excitement and glimmering brown eyes, "They're here!" 

Sure enough, at the bottom of the walkway, was NCT 127 filing out of a large car. It had to be to contain ten people. 

She noticed with amusement, how a young boy had been the first one to leave the vehicle, almost tripping over his own feet in his haste to get out. As much as it tickled her funny bone to see him stumble, she had to admit that he was rather charming. He had a bright smile with eyes that radiated kindness and innocence, his hands in constant motion as he waved frantically to the fans that shrieked around them.

" _Who's that?_ " She whispered, leaning down towards her friend's ear so she could be heard.

"Haechan," Was the reply that wafted back, barely audible through the jeers and whistles as he approached the barrier. 

Attention drifting from the rouge idol, her gaze wandered towards Yeonha's camera, the lens focused on a tall and regal looking Johnny as he strode towards the entrance, slowing down briefly to grace the crowd with a smile and copious finger hearts. 

A man with an immaculate mullet followed behind, recognising him seconds later as the leader: Taeyong. He was incredibly handsome, more so than what pictures could portray. 

Her eyes wandered from member to member, trying hard to recall their names from memories of Yeonha raving about them. Yes she had listened at the time, but information that she didn't really care for never seemed to stick in her head. 

Suddenly the screaming near them both began to intensify, head jolting upwards from the floor as she looked around to see the reason for such a sudden uproar. One look towards the side had the answers; Haechan was high fiving people while running past.

It was an action that was both childish but endearing, a soft chuckle passing her lips and muffled by fabric as his hands connected with tens of people in a few seconds. A cute sight indeed. 

Shuffling on her feet, Yeonha was shooting Yuta now, having managed to find him walking beside a slightly miffed looking man with glossy black hair. Gut instinct told her that it was Doyoung - confirmed only when he broke out into a bunny like smile at cheers of his name. 

" _Did you get pictures of him?_ " Yeonha was just about to nod when a figure blocked what little light was left from the glittering bulbs outside the venue. 

Her mouth opened to politely scold whoever this person was for passing the barrier, but it shut immediately when she realised that it was Haechan who stood there, his fingers pulled up into a peace sign as he pointed to the camera on Yeonha's chest. 

Immediately the conversation topic was thrown aside, dainty fingers reaching for the shutter button at the rare opportunity being presented. When else would you get an idol willingly standing in front of a fansite?

Yeonha was quick and precise with her shots, getting all the proper angles and using the minimal lighting to her advantage. All the extra classes and lectures on light usage hadn't been for nothing. This was especially true when she managed to spot the pictures that were taken, completely stunned by how additionally stunning he looked under the right lighting. 

"Thank you!" Haechan threw up a thumbs up at her gratitude, though it looked like he had struggled slightly to hear it. 

" _Do you think I could ask him for a high five? Or would that be weird?_ " Blinking at the brunettes question, she shrugged.

" _Yeah, I don't think he'll mind._ " Despite being a year or so older than her, it was nice how she'd always ask for her opinion on things instead of going into stuff head first.

Seeing the conflicting emotion zoom across Yeonha's face at light speed, she was half ready to ask him herself for a high five on Yeonha's behalf. Thankfully, that wasn't needed as only a few seconds later, she had raised her hand with a subtle head tilt, "high touch?"

She had to give him credit for being so welcoming, nodding happily as he connected his hand to hers for a few seconds before letting go. Those few seconds had made Yeonha's day and that was good enough for her, shifting on her feet as the cold chilled her skin. 

What she wasn't expecting though, was for a masculine yet high voice to speak to her, saying only two words that caught her attention. "Hi touch?"

Head tilt upwards, her eyes connecting with his joyful brown hues and she couldn't find it in her to resist. It wasn't like it would kill her to give him one. 

Her warm hand left the confines of her pocket and reached out, pressing against his palm as he smiled bright enough to put the moon and the stars to shame. But just like that, his hand left hers and he was jogging away with kisses being blown and a loud 'thank you!' echoing in the evening chill. 

She watched until he'd gone inside, hand shoved back into her pocket after the encounter and glancing over at Yeonha whose smile was eerily wide. " _Uh, are you okay?_ "

" _Yes, I'm good,_ " The camera lay comfortably in her hands as she looked over the images, humming in delight. " _Let's go now, I can see your lips turning blue._ "

Shaking her head at the meaningless poke, she laughed and began making her way out of the now dispersing crowd, easily brushing past people with mumbles of 'excuse me' and 'sorry' before heading down the streets of Seoul.

" _Tomorrow we will go out, okay?_ " Yeonha's statement/question was met with a shrug on her behalf, happy enough to go along with whatever. There wasn't a dull moment to be had with her friend and she would appreciate any time she has with the girl. " _You have three days left and we have to make the most of it._ "

" _That sounds good, I'm happy to do that._ " With one last grin directed towards her, she was pleased and content as she left to go into her hotel room.

Seoul was one adventure after another and she was willing to go on every one that was offered. 

* * *

 

It was pretty early in the morning when she heard her phone buzzing, vibrating viciously on the bedside table as she groaned, sitting up and rubbing her bleary eyes to try and get rid of the fuzziness that lined her vision.

‘10am’ her phone read as well as the large contact name of 'Yeonha' that occupied the entire screen.

She didn't know whether to groan and roll back onto her side and ignore the call, or pick up the damned phone.

A few seconds is buzzing later and she'd made her decision, picking up the phone with a grunt and irritating colouring her brow. " _Are you dying?_ "

" _For you I would,_ " Her nose scrunched instantly at the words, eyes rolling at her cheesy friend, yet still biting her lip to stifle an amused laugh, " _get ready and be outside in 20 minutes, I have a surprise for you._ " 

Now she was listening, sleep slowly trickling away until she was wide awake. " _Surprise?_ "

" _Surprise._ " Yeonha confirmed, sounding irrationally smug before hanging up and leaving her to grumble as she swing her legs out of the bed, limbs moving at snail speeds as she dragged herself out of the covers. 

Checking her phone quickly for any other messages, she replied to her friend back home and sent a few of the photos Yeonha had taken before heading to the bathroom and freshening up.

It didn't take too long at all for her to get ready, smoothing her outfit and making sure she looked decent before stepping out of the hotel room and down the stairs - opting to be healthy even if it was for about thirty seconds. 

Notifications pinging, a singular message from Yeonha read 'I'm here.'

Shoving her phone into her jeans pocket, she suppressed a tired yawn and looked around the lobby, hoping to spot her short friend so they could leave quickly and she could stop the devil on her shoulder that was whispering about how good it would feel to sleep in.

Thankfully, Yeonha bounced in moments later when her resolve was at its breaking point, wearing a bright red jacket layered over a black sweater and a brilliant simper coated in a subtle maroon shade of gloss. 

"You got ready!" Her hand was grasped tightly, held in a solid hold as Yeonha tapped her foot. Not quite understanding why they weren't leaving straight away, her lips parted just as a young man walked up to them both. 

He was handsome she would admit, with his wide eyes and lips that held a prominent cupids bow. His cheeks were filled out, subtle dimples cutting into the flesh as he smiled politely, bowing in greeting. Honey coloured hues maintained eye contact as she returned the polite bow, his hand sticking out in hopes of a handshake.

" _This is my boyfriend, Junghwa._ " Yeonha introduced, shining with admiration towards the boy that looked like he could barely harm a fly without feeling guilty, "Junghwa, this is my best friend, (y/n)."

Deciding that it would be best to communicate in Korean (and it would also give her a better opportunity to use her language skills), she nodded, shaking his hand and stifling a snort at his widened eyes. 

"Wow, you have a firm handshake," his chuckle was melodic and good natured, her protective nature over her naïve, if well meaning friend, lessened, "you are very pretty."

Surprised embarrassment flushed through her at his brash words, Yeonha only nodding in agreement - not even the slightest bit bothered that her boyfriend has said something so brazenly to someone else. She'd taught her well, insecurity had no business in a stable relationship.

"You're very handsome too, it's nice to meet you," His nose scrunched, dimples popping as he let go of her hand and stood beside Yeonha, looking completely at ease, "can I ask how you two met? Because I haven't heard anything about you, Junghwa."

Maybe it did bother her a little that she hadn't known before about her boyfriend considering they were best friends, but that was Yeonha's choice and she wasn't about to police the poor girl. 

"We met two days ago actually, at a café," he started, shuffling on his feet, timberlands scuffing the stone floor underneath, "at first I didn't know she was my soulmate, but I tasted coffee and a toffee cake that you could only find at that café. She was the only person eating it so I approached her," Taste was the common factor in Yeonha's soulmate link. Whatever her soulmate was easily, she would taste it and vice versa. 

Yeonha had complained plenty of times that it was annoying, that she hated having just eaten something sweet and then having the savoury taste of steak flooding her mouth seconds after. It also didn't leave lots of intimacy and nothing you could really ask about like a name or a image on your skin. 

However, some argued that the connections that weren't visible were stronger. No one knew the truth in that statement but each soulmate link was unique and as beautiful as any other. 

"Yeah, he drank some really bitter coffee and we both made a face. That's how we knew," They began walking out of the hotel, paying no mind to the surprisingly busy streets as they exited the hotel. 

"That's really cute actually," she commented, hands shoved in the pocket of her jeans as she chatted along with the couple. It will still a little frosty out but nothing too inhabilitating. "You two made it official not long ago, right?" 

With no judgment clear in her tone, Junghwa was comfortable enough to nod, swinging Yeonha's hands in his as she internally cooed at the display. The honeymoon stage of love was always beautiful to witness. 

"We're going around Seoul today, is that okay with you? There's nothing better than just wondering around the streets," She had been meaning to do that for a while. As enjoyable as going through the different tourist transactions was, she much preferred viewing quaint areas and the spaces that didn't attract too much attention. Going through the roads of Seoul sounded like a dream.

People were bustling left and right, some with headphones on that blocked out the world and others with their heads held high as they passed through the mass of people with regality. It always interested her to see what kind of people roamed what city; in Daegu and Busan, people seemed slower, taking time to look around and greet each other. In Seoul people were busy, busy, **busy** with no time to stop - not that she could fault them for it. 

"How about you, have you met your soulmate?" Shaking her head at Junghwa's question, her pops curled gently upwards.

"No, I don't have a mark or a connection. I've never found anything that could have something to do with it," He didn't look like he pitied her, his expression neutral as he nodded, "it's nice though. I'm not constantly worried about it."

Either she had a soulmate or she didn't, neither option bothered her too much. As nice as it would be to have a soulmate, not having one would be just as peaceful. 

"That's an interesting thought, can't say I've seen it much! People seem to be so caught up with it sometimes," Eyes disappearing with the force of his smile, she could see exactly why the universe had chosen him for Yeonha. He was perfect.

"Where are we going first?" A tap to the nose and a smirk didn't set her expectations very high, fully prepared to walk into something absurd like a paintball match. She couldn't say she'd be very thrilled to be covered in paint at 10:30am but it was what it was. 

Despite Junghwa's attempts to remain sneaky, Yeonha had that crumbling down with a single laugh and shaking of her head. "He doesn't have a damn clue."

With an embarrassed flush on his cheek, he began spluttering out protests, trying his hardest to reassure them both that he did know what he was doing and that he did have something planned. Unfortunately for him though, they didn't believe him.

"Ugh, you guys!" His whine made giggles erupt, Yeonha shaking her head at her boyfriend's antics as they carried on walking past the crowd and through alleyways that she wouldn't have gone gone alone in for all the money in the world. "Okay fine, since you're being silly I won't take you to the best street vendors in all of Seoul."

The mention of street vendors had their ears peeking and Junghwa knew that he had them both captured with that statement. Street food was delicious and incredibly cheap, why on earth wouldn't they want some?

"Oh so **now** you want to be nice to me?" Shaking his head with a mocking tut, he feigned a frown and crossed his arms over his chest, "rude."

"Please, Hwannie? Take us to the vendors?" Just like that, Junghwa was putty in Yeonha's hand and she was cheering as he begrudgingly led them towards the supposed goldmine. 

And quite honestly, as she looked around and saw the stalls upon stalls of delicious food with scents of spice and promise coming off of them, it was a likened to a goldmine. 

" _Holy shit_ , there's so much good looking food here!" Blinking at all the sweet and savoury treats, Junghwa puffed his chest up proudly and made a show of depending his voice and walking around with his arms in a typical muscle man position.

"I told you," he started, voice straining under the effort of keeping it deep and level while he was walking, " but of course you never listen. You people are all the same.

He first walked up to a Tteokbokki stand, ordering enough to feed a small army but only paying what seemed like a wildly disproportionate amount of money. It would always amaze her how much food she could buy here without breaking the bank. 

Moments later, a container was being handed to her, Junghwa refusing any money that she was offering him as he claimed it was a 'welcoming gifts for the very beautiful foreigner who spoke korean like a native.' 

He had to be joking but it warmed her heart to know he felt comfortable around her - enough so to say silly things like that. 

In return she had bought him some of the ice cream filled mochi he had been eyeing but had been too self conscious to buy because of the amount of food he'd already bought. 

To her such hesitation was juvenile, thus leading to her getting up and buying an entire box full so they could all share - feeding him and Yeonha without making him feel ashamed or like he owed her something.

Seoul streets bustled and she was sincerely grateful for bringing her backpack along, hiding away any excess food she didn't manage to finish or wanted to store for later. It wasn't until they were passing a high street, littered with food stores and other various things, did they sit down at a bench and begin eating their collections in peace. 

Yeonha had bought a selection of goldfish bread and different kinds of fried food. When asked why everything was so unhealthy, she justified herself with a shrug and a laugh. On the other hand, Junghwa had a sweet tooth and was sharing out his waffles and pancake batter corn dogs - insisting that they all share between each other for the 'authentic korean experience'.

Sweet and savoury hit her taste buds, confusing her but also making her hum in delight as she checked her phone. Her friend had replied back with a million heart emojis and a single text of 'the best boy.' She would have to reply back later.

"Oh my god," The sudden shriek had her jumping, Junghwa's head turning at lightning speed towards his girlfriend, "It's Sicheng's birthday soon! I completely forgot."

Instead of rolling his eyes like she'd expected him too, Junghwa looked equally as shocked and pulled his phone out too, opening up twitter at lightning speed to check the trending. Sure enough, on his calendar for the 28th, was winwin's birthday.

"You like NCT too?" Swallowing her rice cake, she skewered another one on the end of her chopstick.

He nodded so hard she feared his head would fall off, his brain vibrating in his skull as he moved his head ten times in under a second. "I love NCT, they're one of my favourite groups. I love the girl groups but they don't really have the sound I like in music. But I like dancing to their songs, they're fun," A reasonable enough statement and opinion to have. There wasn't really anything to fault. "How about you? Do you listen to any kpop groups?" 

She merely shrugged, licking her lips of any remaining sauce. Many people had assumed that she liked kpop or kdramas when she had been taking Korean as a major, but that wasn't the case. She liked the culture and the history of the country enough to want to know more; understanding kpop was just an additional bonus. 

"Some, not really many. I listen to whatever I like. My friend back home knows more than me," Junghwa nodded, tucking his phone back into his pocket after reminding himself to wish Winwin a happy birthday via tweet. 

Ten minutes passed before they were finished, stuffed full with the food they'd eaten and now eager to burn off the calories. 

"I heard it's really easy to get fake branded clothing, do you think I could get some?" Both boyfriend and girlfriend lit up at the prospect of getting new clothing - regardless of its authenticity or not. 

Really, who cared? As long as it was comfortable and well made, the brand name was only a way of over charging. 

"Yes! The underground markets are perfect!"

* * *

 

Perfect they were. The underground system of Korea was truly a sight to behold, with shopping centres spanning for miles below ground and many different store areas open for easy browsing. Once in the right place, it was simple to find the clothing she wanted, the plethora of fake clothing bringing her joy. 

"Whoa, they even have gucci!" Junghwa nodded, pulling a supreme hoodie to his chest and using his eyes to estimate whether or not it would fit him, "how do you choose one thing?" 

"You don't," he clarified, buttering up the sweet old woman who owned the stall and managing to the lower the price in the hoodie - humming to himself as it was placed in a bag.

Yeonha was on the opposite side, away from the clothes and instead inspecting the jewellery that was on display. The girl had an affinity towards anything shiny; much like a magpie that liked to collect pretty items to show off. 

"You know, Hannie, I saw an album store down here. Would you like to go in?" She had been low key eyeing the quaint shop when she'd first caught sight of it ten minutes ago, wanting to go in but also not waiting to ditch her friends. 

It was a pretty little thing and she would have liked to looked around and see if there was anything she could bring back. The shipping fees were always extortionate.

Yeonha blinked, the earrings in her fist dangling precariously as she turned around. "Of course! I need to see if I can find their new album anywhere."

And within a few moments, the trio were walking into the quiet shop, more than delighted with the selection of groups and music genres available.

Yeonha and Junghwa went together towards the N section, looking around for the Regular album while she remained in the M section, hoping to find Monsta X's albums so she could buy some for herself and for her friend. 

'Are you there?' Musing silently to herself, amusedly picking up two and wondering over towards the V section, looking to grab Eau du VIXX. It was pricey having a friend who liked multiple groups, even more so when she'd do anything to make them happy. 

Wandering through the aisles was therapeutic in a way, flashes of album art and beautiful covers filling her vision as she glanced around for the two love birds. Yet all of a sudden she felt sick, the world spinning at dizzying speeds as her stomach lurched and she was forced to lean on the shelves for support. 

Nausea and sickness hit her instantly, heart sinking to the pit of her stomach as her insides curled together with enough force to make her gag. She most certainly wasn't looking nor feeling good. 

Even so, the feeling slowly ebbed away and her blurry vision returned to normal, making it feel almost like a fever dream as she stood up - still slightly slouched.

"Are you okay? You don't look too good," Yeonha's soft whispers of concern warmed her erratic heart, nodding in an attempt to ease the anxiety that painted her friend's stunning features, "do you want to go home?"

Waving away her concerns with a flick of her wrist, she shook her head. "Don't worry, I think it's that Tteokbokki coming back to say hi," A funny look was directed her way but it was brushed off as she walked away to pay for her items, stuffing them in her bag seconds later as she waited for Yeonha and Junghwa to finish up as well. The last thing she wanted to do was cause concern when she only had a few days left.

They didn't take too long since Yeonha had already paid, skipping joyfully to the counter when she'd found the album she'd been looking for. And like girlfriend like boyfriend, Junghwa was fast to pick out his favourites and buy them. 

Clock ticking 5, she was ready to head back to the hotel and relax for a little bit, her feet aching from having been on them all day. "Shall we go to a café and head home?" Her question floated in the air for a few seconds before being responded to with an indifferent shrug. 

"Sounds good, I'd like some bubble tea right now," Since café's littered the area, it was relatively easy to find one that served what they wanted. And since it was past lunch, it wasn't too busy either. 

Yeonha ordered the bubble tea while she and Junghwa found seats near the front window, a little corner away from people but still able to see the rest of the shop. "Are you with anyone? I know you said you don't know if you have a soulmate but you're really nice," not really taking offense to his question, she shook her head.

"No, sometimes I do look at some people and wish I had relationship, but nothing of my own. Soulmate or not, I'll find the right boy or girl for me," Junghwa nodded, lacing his fingers under his chin. "People put so much emphasis on it, I'm still you-"

Her vision turned black for a split second, her heart squeezing tightly as a strangled gasp passed her lips, hand clutching the fabric above the organ to try and relieve the pain, " _oh fuck_ ".

Hands grasped her shoulders, a blurry face close to hers as their lips moved. Thankfully she could hear what they were saying and she was able to blink away the blurriness, the pain in her chest easing to a dull throb. "Oh my god, are you sure you're alright? We can take you to the hospital, I don't think that's normal," Junghwa stammered, brown eyes wide and etched with concern. 

"No, I'm fine. It's probably nothing, I'll check it out at home if it carries on," Maybe she was being stupid for ignoring it, but at this point she didn't care. Both recklessness and indifference came into play for her decision, disregarding the fact that Junghwa looked ready to protest at the drop of a hat. "Look," she pointed, attempting to divert his attention, "Yeonha's got the drinks."

His unimpressed glance informed her that no, he hadn't forgotten about the incident and yes, he would be bringing it up again at a later date. 

Sliding in beside him, Yeonha was quick to shoo away the uneasy atmosphere with her chatter. 

"I was just checking the NCT Twitter and Haechan isn't going to be part of the promotions. They said it was a medical issues but haven't specified what. I hope he's okay," The girl's frown was soothed only by the tea she was sipping 

Then, she glanced over and made eye contact. "It was probably your fault, you gave him the plague." It was hard *not* to snort attention accusation, waving her off with a half arsed look of irritation and eye roll.

"Fuck off," Yeonha shrugged with a shake of her head to follow the theatrics.

"Not my fault you carry a virus," Junghwa watched the exchange with bemusement, eyebrows raising as they bickered like little children.

His fingers twirled the straw, the tea swirl in an the little bubbles swimming in the light brown concoction. "You met Haechan?" 

"Not really, we high fived for about half a second and apparently I've caused his death," That… Really didn't help. 

This was when Yeonha decided to jump in, laughing like a giddy school girl. "Remember yesterday? When I told you I was going out to get some fansite pictures?" At his nod, she continued, "well Haechan came over to the barrier and posed in front of the camera. He gave me a high five and her too."

Moments passed as Junghwa contemplated and process this new information. "But wouldn't you have a higher chance of giving him the lurgy? You touched him first." 

"Yah! You're supposed to be on my side!" Yeonha cried, betrayal written all over her face as she pretented to faint onto the table - all the while whimpering about how her trust and love was forsaken.

And then she was laughing, forgetting immediately about all the pain in her chest or how hard it suddenly was to breathe, living in the moment and enjoying what she had was her only concern.

This was why she came to Korea, to enjoy the culture, country and most of all: be surrounded by people she loved and cared for.

* * *

 

MC: !!!! I had a really good day

Loml: !!! 

Loml: I'm so glad you did

Loml: Meet any idols? My husband?

Loml: Maybe even my wife, Irene?

MC: You wish 

MC: Irene would sooner marry me than your broke arse

MC: Stop being annoying

MC: I met Haechan

MC: For like a second

Loml: Really?

MC: Mhm!!

MC: Yeonha was taking fansite pictures

MC: And he came over and gave us high fives

MC: Are you jealous

Loml: ...

Loml: Maybe so

MC: Ksjsjajaksjs

Loml: Have you been speaking in Korean?

Loml: It's tempting to speak in english

Loml: But you've been learning Korean for a reason

Loml: Put it into good use

MC: Hm

MC: I will

Loml: Look!!!

Loml: 

  


Loml: My baby!

MC: The most beautiful people on earth

MC: Second to you only

Loml: Monsta X I'm so sorry that an ugly arse bitch would even say that

MC: wjsjwjsj

MC: Two more days! Excluding tomorrow

Loml: Make the most of it

Loml: And buy me those damn albums

MC: ajsjsjs

MC: Maybe we already have

Loml: God this is why we're friends

MC: So you can mooch off me? Nice

Loml: ;)

Loml: You love me

MC: Debatable

Loml: ,, rude

Loml: I'll talk to you later, okay? Gotta go to work,,, not fair

Loml: I should get paid for breathing

MC: You should

MC: Love u

Loml: Love you too!

Even if the chat with her friend back home lasted only a ten minutes or so, it brightened her mood considerably and she always enjoyed talked to them. As much as she would have liked to bring them for Korea too to witness the sights, there was no way their schedules would have aligned and allowed for it to happen. It sucked but that was life. 

Pressing away from the chat as they went offline, she lay in her bed and scrolled mindlessly through the various social media she had. It wasn't until a message from an unknown number popped up that she stopped her thoughtless movements.

Unknown: Hello!!

MC: Hello?

Unknown: It's Junghwa!

Unknown: I asked Yeonha for your number

Unknown: Is that okay?

MC: Yeah, sure

Quickly adding his number, she changed his contact name and resumed the chat.

Jungie: I was looking at the internet after Yeonha went home

Jungie: There was some articles

Jungje: Wanna see?

MC: Why not

Jungie: link

MC: What's it about

Jungie: Nothing much

Jungie: Medical things

Jungie: Yeonha said you looked ready to faint in the store

MC: Not true

Jungie: Liar

MC: … U caught me

Jungie: ㅋㅋㅋ

Jungie: Seriously

Jungie: Take care of yourself

Jungie: See if any of those apply to you

MC: I will

MC: Yeonha is lucky to have someone like you.

Jungie: Don't make me blush

Jungie: :-)

MC: UwU

MC: Cutie

Jungie: I try to be

Jungie: Now girl 

Jungie: read that article and then go to sleep!

MC: Okay okay

MC: Sleep tight Junghwa

Jungie: You too

Curiosity gripped her, fingers itching to press through onto the link and see what he had picked out. Yet, something was holding her back and she didn't know if it would be a good idea to see what it was. Normally her gut was right, but this time the possible positive outcomes outweighed whatever negative ones she could conjure up.

With an abnormally loud inhale, she pressed into the article and began to read the information on the page.

It wasn't anything too groundbreaking, with things she'd theorised herself also on the page. From heartburn to low blood pressure. Scrolling further down the page, she found nothing too condemning nor eye catching until she was nearly at the bottom of the list.

'Number 14' it read and her heart began to stutter as she read the next two words - like an prophecy that was waiting to be uttered into existence, 'the soulmate link - cor subsisto'.


	3. For

Donghyuck would have been lying if he said he didn't feel like complete shit. For the past two days, his breathing has shortened and he was sluggish, unable to do much without feeling like his head and chest were going to burst. It was bothersome and he hated how much it inhibited his daily actions, let alone work.

He had tried to dance but had almost passed out, his pulse ringing in his ears as he'd stumbled to the floor, dizziness stopping him from maintaining balance.

Taeyong had seen this and ordered him to take a rest, stating that he wasn't fit to dance or participate in any activity that involved too much movement. SM wouldn't argue with Taeyong either, no one would when he was set on an idea.

Rolling on to his back, he laid a hand over his chest, feeling the beats pulse under his palm. The tiredness was annoying at best, downright hell at worst.

Thankfully he was allowed a few days to recover, days he would most certainly use to slouch around like the lazy teenager he was.

It was expected that he would sleep it off or that he was just overworked - it happened to the best of them. But he was going to make the most of it, meaning he was going to scroll all day on twitter and watch youtube whydeos. The true heaven on earth.

"Hyuck, are you feeling better?" With a slight tilt of his head, he looked up at Taeil who had addressed him from across the room, hand in a bag of wasabi flavoured crisps.

"No," Taeil moved closer, swallowing his mouthful and sitting on the armchair opposite his, reclining backwards on the chair until his feet couldn't reach the floor.

"Did you take any medicine?" Not even bothering to look up at the obscure sight of Taeil almost laying down on the chair, he shook his head. He hadn't taken anything for over a month, not even the anxiety 'medicine' Jungwoo recommended.

Continuing to scroll through twitter, he muffled his laughter at a particularly ugly screenshot of Mark before leaving a like, "I didn't need any."

Admittedly, he did follow a lot more NCT fan accounts than he probably should have, and interacted with more people than the company would allow him to, but who was he if not a little rebellious? After all, what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them, plus he was always careful.

Who on earth would believe a random schmuck claiming to be Haechan of NCT on twitter? No one if they were smart.

"Have you checked with the doctor?" Taeil asked again, crumbs falling onto his shirt as he continued to lay down on the recliner.

"Nah, can't be bothered," That earnt a look of irritation, crumbs falling from the shirt and on to the floor as he stared Donghyuck down. Perhaps that was a stupid thing to say, but he hoped it would pass normally like a stomach bug or a cold did.

"You're stupid."

"Thanks."

The front door opened, all heads craning towards the noise only to see a large figure walk in, strolling casually into the dorm without a care in the world. "What's up!"

Yukhei.

Groaning, he turned to his side and faced the back of the sofa, hoping that Yukhei would pass him peacefully by and not harass him. He was normally up for it, just not right now when his heart and head were doing funny things.

"Haechan!" Unfortunately for him, his prayers were hardly ever answered.

A few seconds later, he was enveloped in a bear hug, completely smothered and smushed against the cushions with a dead heavy weight on him. For the first time in two days, he'd lost his breath for a reason other than the unexplained heart ache.

"Oof! Get off!" Only getting off by the slightest of margins, he was still stuck under Yukhei.

However, with his patience already very low, he didn't bother with telling him to move further off, knowing it would only prompt him to annoy Donghyuck more.

"Are you feeling better? You said you were _feeling bad_ ," Slightly touched at the fact Yukhei had come all the way from his other dorm to ask this, he shrugged, mustering a smile.

"No, I think it's getting worse," Taking a few seconds to translate in his head, Yukhei nodded, giving him a quick noogie before sliding off of him and onto the spare couch by his feet.

The peace, of course, didn't last nearly as long as he would have liked, his phone snatched out of his hands - with it went his only form of entertainment.

"Yah! Give that back!" Grinning in the way that he always did, Yukhei pushed away his floundering hands with ease and scrolled through the twitter with ease, pleased to see that most of it was in english. "Hyung! Tell him!"

Taeil was no help, pretending to snore to annoy him, licking his lips a few seconds later and leaving him to huff irritably, staring up at the ceiling.

He was going to lose his damn mind.

"Haechan?" Yukhei piped up, gazing at him with wide eyes from the end of the couch.

Honestly, he had no clue why he continued to call him Haechan even after recently finding out that his name was Donghyuck, but each to their own. He still responded with a hum regardless.

"What's your soulmate indicator?"

In the back of his head he was a little surprised that the topic had never come up between them before. It was something that was discussed early on, to see if there would need to be additional action taken for idols regarding them.

The people who had names and marks for example were required to keep them covered up and hidden from view lest some sasaengs try to imitate them and cause a ruckus.

Previously there had been a few incidents like that, where the makeup has rubbed off or had been spotted through a fan taken picture where the idol wasn't prepared; the reaction was always the same, with reporters like dispatch jumping on the news like a pack of hungry wolves and scandals popping up left and right.

It really wasn't worth the hassle it brought.

"I don't know, I don't think it's a visible one," Yukhei nodded, pointing to an image of two people's timers on zero.

"Mine is like this, _time_ ," Pulling down his trousers in a move that seemed to scandalous to be doing in the middle of the living room, even Taeil shouting a loud 'yah!' in shock, he revealed a timer etched just on the very top of his left thigh.

02:11:53:8:42:58

The multiple numbers almost made his head soon, but they were still ticking down. 58 to 57 to 56 etc.

Pulling his trousers back up, Yukhei patted Donghyuck's leg, a reassuring simper on his plus lips. "You'll know who they are."

Yeah, that's what everyone said.

Closing his eyes, he drowned out all external noise and focused on his breathing, on the rise and fall of his chest as he hummed quietly to himself, the sounds ten times louder to himself than to others.

His lack of external indicator was something he had spent hours agonising over, wondering if there was something wrong with him or he was one of the unlucky people to be destined without one. The majority of the world's population had something on their skin, or a mental link that could connect them right away to their soulmate. Donghyuck had nothing. Not even a measly voice in his head that played the same songs on repeat.

Hell, he would have even taken the link where you tasted nothing but the other person's food when they ate. That was the link Ten had and he made sure to announce everyday how annoying it was to be enjoying his coffee and then suddenly taste _cucumbers_.

"Look!" Showing Donghyuck his own face, a tweet was shown, reading only 'Taeyong in 2025 with his 64 children' with an image of Taeyong with a bald head and a signed euthanasia contract.

As morbid as it was, he couldn't help but laugh. They were all going to go bald anyway, with Taeyong definitely one of the first in line.

However, his laughter was cut short when a sharp dizziness had his vision swimming, cutting him off and leaving him wheezing desperately.

"Get your ass to the doctors," Taeil tutted, cracking open one eye.

This time, he didn't even bother to argue.

* * *

 

White on white, splashes of colour here and there 'spicing' up the depressing atmosphere within the waiting room. His leg bounced, moving it up and down from both nerves and boredom.

Around ten minutes ago, he had scrolled and refreshed the same thing around twenty times before deciding that it wasn't worth mind numbingly rereading everything; some tweets were funny the first few times, but after the third and forth, they become obsolete.

No one was with him as he sat alone, mouth covered by a black mask and body hidden within a unnecessarily large coat. It was slightly cold out so no one would think of it as weird, maybe a little excessive though. He hadn't wanted to bother any of the members either.

'Can they hurry up?' He thought, eyes doing another round around the room to see the same four posters about the flu and asthma tests that he'd seen four times before.

The doctors were never a favourite of his, being surrounded by sick people and having to listen to (mainly) little kids crying was grating. Yet, there was an usually low amount of people present, aside from himself there was three other people compared to the average ten.

Maybe everyone but him was healthy?

Groaning lowly at another fluttering in his chest (and not the good kind) he could only pray for the staff to hurry up.

"Lee Donghyuck?" On god he could have cried.

Scrambling up, he was thankful everyone else was minding their own business, not even blinking at the name as he scurried into the room.

"Hello," The woman spoke, gesturing for him to sit in the chair opposite her.

"Hi," He said, almost a little awkwardly as he fiddled with his mask, pulling it down so it rested under his chin.

Spinning in her chair to face him, she gave him a soft smile that reminded him of his mother - instantly relaxing him. "So, what seems to be the problem?"

"Well, I've been really dizzy all of a sudden and my heart has been bothering me. It's been fluttering a lot and a little uneven before returning to normal. It started at the beginning of yesterday," The doctor hummed, typing on the computer for a few seconds.

"Do you have asthma?"

"No."

"Any history of smoking at home?"

"No."

"Taken any medicine in the last few days, prescription or non prescription?"

"I haven't taken anything recently."

Finishing up her typing, she shuffled closer, picking up an in ear thermometer and taking his temperature. Puzzlingly, it was normal.

Next was a stethoscope, asking politely if he would remove his coat so she could listen to his heart beat. Her face remained neutral until she moved to the spot just above his heart, the beats unnatural and jagged before they began to slow down, almost like it was battling with itself on whether to remain slow or fast.

Everything else was fine. He was in perfect health, his lungs were fine and he had no temperature. To say that she was confused would have been putting it lightly.

"Can you step on the scales for me please?" His weight was normal too.

Donghyuck fiddled with his fingers, chewing with the inside of his cheek when his breathing became short, having to inhale quickly to make sure his vision didn't begin to swim. It wasn't the most ideal thing to be dealing with just after he had a comeback - or ever actually.

"Is there a history of heart disease or diabetes in the family?"

"No, I don't think so," Nodding, she spun on her chair and clicked on her screen, the glow of it reflecting on her face of and highlighting her aged, yet wise features.

He really hoped he wouldn't have to go home empty handed, even if it was some sort of miserable tasting medicine he had to take, he would gladly consume bottles of it if it meant the horrible pulsing in his chest would go away. Hell, he would even take the shitty tasting strawberry medicine that tasted nothing like strawberries.

"I will be honest, I can't find anything that would be causing your symptoms. You are perfectly healthy. I suspect the dizziness and the lack of breath is directly linked to your hearts irregular beating. Your heart is slowing down but I can't see any reason why," That was exactly what he _didn't_ want to hear, his heart sinking to the pit of his stomach as he swallowed dryly.

If the doctor couldn't find something wrong with him, what could he do? He could try the hospital but he would run the risk of having the same thing being said to him.

Lost in his thoughts, the subtle sound of keyboard keys being pressed in the background was drowned out. "Are you aware of your soulmate indicator? Have you met them?"

He shook his head, the topic coming up for the second time today. "I don't think I have a visible indicator and I'm pretty sure I haven't met them."

Not really understanding why his soulmate status mattered so much, it apparently mattered to the doctor, her brows rising as she rapidly typed, fingers blurring with the speed of it.

"If what I suspect is correct, then you may have one of the rarest, if not THE rarest soul mate link," Immediately his ears perked, eyes wide as his lips pursed, fingers digging into the fabric of his jeans.

What did his soulmate have to do with his heart? Of course there was that sappy nonsense about your soulmate being your heart and the vague old story that he could barely be bothered to remember, but wasn't this a little far fetched?

"What do you mean, doctor?"

"There's only been rumours and myths over the centuries, with one recorded case just over two hundred years ago. It's a link where if two soulmates meet, their hearts will begin to slow down over a course of around 6 to 7 says before stopping completely and killing both of them," Blood running cold, he blinked - stiff in his seat. "However, this can be stopped if they touch once more before the days are over.  Now of course, this might not be entirely accurate as our only record of this was from a while ago and the documentation wasn't the best in those times."

Regardless of the quality of the documentation, he couldn't help the cold sweat that dripped down his back, praying that this wasn't the soulmate link he had.

This was absurd!

How the hell was he supposed to find his soulmate when he met with and interacted with hundreds of people per day, there was no plausible way to ever find them again unless he did some serious stalking.

"I-is that what I have? How can you be sure?" He was hit with a sympathetic look that made him want to gag.

"We can do a blood test but I can't guarantee that we can confirm it, I'm sorry," As scared as he was, he knew it wasn't her fault and he nodded mustering the smallest of smiles as she wrote something down, ripping out a notebook page and handing it to him.

'Nurse appointment today, book him in,' it read, eyes cannot over it briefly as he licked his lips, mouth as dry as the Sahara desert.

"Take this to the front desk and say Dr. Song sent you. You should be seen quickly," She offered a comforting pat on his thigh, "would you like any painkillers? Unfortunately I can't prescribe anything else," Shaking his head, he thanked her and said his goodbyes, damn near bolting out of the room and to the front desk.

That quicker he left the quicker he would be able to go home.

Handing the receptionist the slip of paper and mumbling the words Dr. Song had said to repeat, the receptionist nodded, reassuring him that the nurse would be available shortly and he wouldn't have to wait.

Good, he thought, he was getting real sick and tired of waiting around.

There were a few more patients that had arrived during his time within the room with Dr. Song and his leg was back to bouncing, biting his bottom lip and pulling at his sleeve.

How could he have such a soulmate link? Did he? Was it not just some form of asthma?

Asthma was much easier to deal with than dying.

Questions filled his head, nearly driving himself insane with how many thoughts were racing through his head at once. If he had this link, it would take a colossal amount of effort to find his soulmate again. Effort he wasn't sure could be achieved within 6 days, two of which he had already used.

The idol life was hard but he never thought it would make it _this_ hard - tough enough that he risked dying at 18.

Before he could torture himself further, the nurse called his name and he was off like a rocket.

The next few minutes went past in a blur, only vaguely remembering the sensation of the needle pricking through his skin and the nurse's almost pitiful smile as they gave him a plaster, offering him a spiderman sticker that he put on his shirt for the fun of it.

"The hospital will call you, your contact details are correct, right?" Nodding, he was free to go and agonise.

Right now, all he needed to do was go home and sleep, if he could even manage that.

* * *

 

Rushing past the rest of the members, he didn't even bother to greet them as he hung up his coat and kicked off his shoes, taking a split second to arrange them nearly so Taeyong wouldn't nag at him. Lord knew he wouldn't be able to handle that right now.

If he had been more aware of his surroundings, he would have noticed the glances they shared as they watched him glide past, face pale and lips drawn into a tight line. This wasn't the Hyuck they knew.

Roughly opening the door to his shared room, he peeled off his clothes as fast as he could (still keeping the sticker) and changed into pajamas, head against the pillow as he stared up.

He hated feeling like this. Like the world was caving in on him and he was gasping for air while everyone watched. Happiness he much preferred over this feeling, whatever you could label it as.

Hours passed (or was it minutes?) slowly as he continued to burn white into his eyes, palm pressed over his chest and his breathing shallow.

No matter how hard he tried, sleep wouldn't come to him. It came into his grasp a few times before slipping away, mocking and teasing him with a sharp toothed grin. He could have cried.

While he was distracted, the bedroom door slowly opened, a figure slipping inside.

His roommate; Dongyoung.

Barely even noticing that someone else was there, he only shifted when a weight was sinking the end of the bed down.

"What's wrong?" Dongyoung asked, concern written all over his features and worry painting his feline eyes, hand gently stroking his calf over top of the duvet.

His voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. "Hyung, what do I do?" he inhaled raggedly, "I think I'm going to die."

Despite barely hearing his own words, Dongyoung heard them loud and clear, frowning with his eyebrows drawn together tightly.

"Don't joke about things like that," Jerking his leg away from Dongyoung's touch, he curled up, head buried in the pillow, "Hyuck, you're serious?"

He nodded, sincerely wishing it was a shake of his head.

Climbing further up the bed, Dongyoung sat beside him, legs crossed and expression full of worry that made his stomach twist.

"The doctor said it could be be my link that causing this. My hearts slowing down, Hyung," There was silence and he couldn't bare to look past the cocoon of covers he'd made for fear of seeing the same emotion he'd seem in everyone else's; pity.

Dongyoung swallowed. "You went to the doctors? Tell me exactly what they said."

Keeping it to himself would do no good, especially when he was being looked at with concern, a hand brushing through his hair in an effort to comfort him. He didn't look up.

"She said I was completely healthy but my heart was slowing down. I-i could have four days left to live if I don't make contact with my soulmate again," Dongyoung was slightly less confused but he didn't understand _why_. Why would he die?

Voicing these concerns, Donghyuck let out a humourless laugh. "After I touch my soulmate for the first time, our hearts slow down over 6 days until we die. Unless we touch again, that's it for us both."

Every word was laced with defeat, something that scared Dongyoung to his core; how could he give up so easily? The change from his happy-go-lucky dongsaeng to the boy in bed accepting his death was jarring.

"What did they do?"

He willed himself to open his eyes and look up, meeting brown.

"They took a blood sample so they could confirm it. I'm supposed to get a call from the hospital," His words were shaky, struggling to push them out without his voice cracking in the middle as Dongyoung shuffled closer, his eyes closing and shutting out the piercing stare of his Hyung's eyes.

Without his consent, a tear slid down his cheek and onto the pillow, lips turning downwards into a frown as he curled further into himself.

Fingers ran through his hair, petting the strands slowly and smoothing them against his head comfortingly, the warmth near his body sinking past the covers.

"You won't die, Hyuck. Wait for the call to come, you don't know if it's confirmed. It could just be something else, just because the doctor said it doesn't automatically make it correct," Desperately wishing he could believe the words that came from his mouth, he knew logically that Dongyoung was preaching a lost cause.

There was no medical reason for his heart to be acting that way, especially when there was nothing else wrong with him. But maybe there was a slim chance that it was a fluke, that it _was_ just because he was overworked and his body was trying to tell him to stop.

As slim as the chance was, he was going to hold on to it. If only to make himself feel better and not sick to his stomach.

"Is your phone on ringer?" Nodding, Dongyoung sighed, hand moving from the younger boy's head, "you should try to sleep. You've had a long day, Hyuck."

His response was minimal, a quick flicker of his eyes towards Dongyoung's figure before they were back on the covers that surrounded him.

Sleep sounded like a treat that was out of his reach, especially with how conscious of everything he was.

Everything was quiet for a few moments, the universe stilling and allowing him refuge in the silence, fingers tightening around his duvet and eyes screwing further closed.

"Do you want me to stay?" It was whispered so lightly into the air that with even a pin drop it would have been drowned out.

"Please."

Despite the fact that it was only 6pm and the sun was only just beginning to set, Dongyoung laid down, back against the wall and slowly climbing under the covers to join him.

Black hair spread against the same pillow with hues searching over his face, a thumb slowly brushing across Donghyuck's forehead to move the locks of brown away. The sensations brought him solace even if it was only temporary. Anything that would take his mind away from his inevitable doom was welcomed.

It was quiet, no further words exchanged as his eyes remained closed and his breathing remained even, but he was at peace.

Even if it was only for now.

* * *

 

Blurs of trees and the sky crossed his vision, the stars and scenery melting together as he ran, legs burning and lungs screaming for air; yet he wasn't stopping. There was a sense of urgency that inhibited him from doing what his body begged him to do so.

Red and heat licked at his heels, threatening to catch him and burn him beyond recognition for his sins. He couldn't stop, he _wouldn't._

The shoes on his feet were slipping, the twig underneath cracking and only adding to the noise in his ears - his blood rushing loudly to accompany it.

In the back there were sounds of dogs barking and shouting of people, he didn't have a clue why they were shouting but he knew that if he was caught, it was the end for him.

"Damn it," His teeth gritted harshly, jaw tightening, breathing rough and ragged.

Suddenly, he tripped, sending him flying forward as his chest rise and fell erratically, heart beating like a Hummingbird's. Hands burning and stinging like crazy, he scrambled back up and turned away from the noise, bolting in the opposite direction as though his life depended on it.

It did.

The sounds of danger and aggression finally faded into the background, but his gut continued to twist, a proverbial knife situating itself within him and turning wildly.

Looking around, he realised exactly where he was; he was at a lake, the water glistening and reflecting the stars above with such intensity it nearly blinded him. His hands cupped, dipping within the liquid and bringing it up to his dry lips, the crisp water flowing through his body as he gulped.

Unable to properly see his reflection apart from a golden coloured blur, he wiped his lips with the back of his hands and sat on the floor, trying to regain his breath.

Looking up, he could see flames colour the sky yellow and orange, the moon and stars melting under the intensity of its roar. They were after him, maybe even someone else.

Water splashed against his face, refreshing him and making him sigh audibly, the sweat that had stuck to his skin finally removed with the quick wash.

But he couldn't stay for long - the pulsing in his gut growing stronger and more urgent with every passing second. Standing up once more with a quick wipe of his hands against his clothing, he took off.

The trees that enclosed the area moved like ghostly figures in the corner of his eyes, reaching out to grab and silence him as he shot past. Everything was against him, growing urgency sending him forward.

It seemed like he was going to do this forever, run and run with no sense of direction - destined to wander in circles and run until his heart gave out on him.

Continuing to run, he only stopped when he approached a bridge for there was a figure atop it. Their body was turned away from him, shielding themselves from his view as they looked at the flowing stream below.

He slowed to a walk, slowly approaching them as he hummed, the sound attracting their attention as their head slowly turned towards him.

"You came," they stated, sounding almost surprised.

"Of course I did," The words tumbled past his lips without any conscious effort, lips tugging into a grin; it was an expression that he wasn't aware he was capable of.

The world seemed to fade away, their face lost to him but their smile remained. They smiled and his heart fluttered, warmth filling his chest. This was why he was running, to see the one thing brighter than the moon and fire itself.

The scene changed and he couldn't have been more horrified, the world twisting and morphing until there was nothing left of the tranquil river and the happiness that made his chest lighten.

Instead he was kneeling, blood covering his fingers and clothing as his throat felt hoarse, tears blurring his vision. Pleads fell from his lips, both begs and incoherent words alike.

No matter how hard he begged, it didn't seem to end, the red staining his hands for the world to see; to mock. He was a failure.

A soft touch atop his head made him look up, a hand stroking the top of his head and playing with the hair weakly. Despite himself, he managed a small smile.

The sky was darkening, darkening to the point where the moon was no longer bathing the ground with light and all light was blocked, the beginnings of rain wetting his hair and clothing until he was completely drenched.

The blood did not wash off, staining his hands permanently no matter how hard he tried to remove it.

With the rain, came his tears, blending in with the water that streaked down his cheeks and concealing his sorrow. The world was dimming. no longer as bright as it once had been, his eyes closing as he brought his hands up to his face, the metallic scent enough to make him gag.

It wasn't until another pair of hands had cupped his chin and tilted his head upwards, eyes just about to open, did he jolt awake with his breathing rough and heart rate spiking before slowing back down to its irregular beat.

It had all been a dream. With a quick glance towards the clock he realised it was only 10:30pm. He had been asleep for just over four hours.

Exhaling shakily, he realised his hair was damp, sticking to his forehead, fingers moving to brush it out of his face.

"Hyuck, are you okay?" The sound of a voice so close startled him, jumping slightly as he blinked away the blurriness in his vision.

"Yeah," He trailed off, licking his dry lips with what little moisture he had left on his tongue, "just a dream."

Dongyoung shifting slightly on the bed so that he was facing him again, the position similar to the one he'd fallen asleep in.

"Have they called?" The elder shook his head, a frown marring his features as he did so. He ran a hand through his hair and for a split second, Donghyuck felt incredibly bad for putting him in this position.

As though sensing his inner turmoil, Dongyoung patted his leg reassuringly. "They haven't called yet, try to go back to sleep, okay? Unless ur hungry that is," Making a motion to get out of bed, he shook his head.

"Not hungry," Dongyoung exhaled, laying back down and closing his eyes.

"Just try to get some rest, you'll need it, Hyuck," Despite wanting to protest, he knew that his Hyung was right and that fighting it would do no good.

Shoving the dream out of his thoughts, he closed his eyes once more and easily fell back into slumber - this time it was dreamless.

* * *

 

The blaring of 'thriller' woke him up, his eyes wide and body jolting as he starred in panic at the phone on the bedside table. Dongyoung moved, providing him with a saving grace as he sat up, a quick glance to Donghyuck's face before answering and handing it to him.

Inhaling quickly, he steeled his nerves and spoke, "hello."

The person on the other end of the lime responded quickly, their tone neutral and almost calming. "Hello, is this Mr.Lee?"

"Yes," Making eye contact with Dongyoung, he nodded and motioned for him to continue.

"Okay, Mr.Lee. We have the results of the blood test and you have cor subsisto, also known as the Heart Stop soulmate link."

Frozen in his place, his worst fears were confirmed, head tilted downwards towards his phone as he stared, unable to speak.

Dongyoung, noticing this sudden change, took the phone from his hands and kept close. "Can you repeat that please?"

The woman on the other end of the line noticed that it was a different person speaking, immediately realising he must have passed his phone on.

"He has the soulmate link, his heart will stop 6 days after meeting his soulmate," Hearing it from Donghyuck was one thing, but hearing it from someone who had confirmed it and done all the tests, it was eye opening.

His eyes were unfocused, staring at his Hyung with disbelief, like he would turn around and tell him that it was all an elaborate prank

As much as Dongyoung wished he could, there was no chance of that happening.

"Is there any way to stop it? Make his heart speed up again?" He asked, hoping with everything inch of his being that there was something they could do. He was too young to risk death, especially when he was otherwise perfectly healthy and at no risk of anything.

"I'm sorry, Sir. Nothing we can give him will increase his heart rate, medical drugs will only adversely affect him," Dongyoung's mouth was dry, blinking slowly as he nodded.

He could have cursed, the profanities on the tip of his tongue. Yet he decided against it because he didn't want his dongsaeng to think it was hopeless.

"Is there any way to stop his heart from giving out on him?"

"I'm afraid the only way to stop him from dying is to have him make contact with his soulmate again. The link was triggered by physical touch. Not much is known about this link, I apologise." Already beginning to feel dread pooling at the pit of his stomach, Dongyoung spared a few seconds to think.

Rationally, he knew that it was nobody's fault that this was happening, but he couldn't help but feel angry. Angry that this was happening to someone who had never done any wrong, angry that nothing could be done to help him, angry that Donghyuck's soulmate was somewhere out there _dying_ along with him.

It was all unfair.

"No, it's just," he ran a hand through his hair, "it's just going to be hard."

"I understand. I hope Mr.Lee finds his soulmate," She said, sympathy in her voice.

"Yeah, thank you. Have a good night," With a ’you too, Sir' the line went dead and the phone was put back on the bedside.

Donghyuck was uncharacteristically silent, staring into space with a dull expression that betrayed nothing about his inner turmoil.

It was true, he really was going to die. There was no way he was going to find his soulmate amongst the hundreds of people he must have interacted with within two days.

There was so much he hadn't done. Hell he wasn't even a legal adult yet! He couldn't even get home in time to go to his family, unless he packed up and left right away.

Unable to openly voice everything that was in his head. he managed a weak 'what do I do, Hyung?', eyes glassy but dead, no life nor shine behind them.

He was at a loss, hands loosening from the fists they'd formed as he struggled to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. He couldn't die, not yet.

A warm hand rubbed his back before pulling him into a hug seconds later, holding him without speaking a single word. Words were empty when the reality of what was happening was looking over his head.

"What do I do?" He reiterated, muffled by the shoulder he was leaning on.

Instead of replying, he only looked at the wall behind Donghyuck, unblinking. This was going to take an unimaginable amount of thought and the company would most definitely go mad, but there was no way he would let these four days be the last ones Donghyuck had on earth.

"You won't die, I'll make sure of it."


	4. Centuries

"Why did you want to come out so early? Yeonha asked, a yawn following her question as she rubbed at her eyes tiredly. She looked nothing short of shattered and an she felt guilt trickle down her spine at being the cause of it.

Yeonha stood in the lobby, dressed casually yet still looking more put together than she felt. Smiling cheekily, the muscles in her face straining from the forced action, she tilted her head and gently shoved the older girl. "You don't want to be with me? I wanted to spend my time with you since I only have a couple of days left."

The hidden meaning was lost on everyone but herself, she was all too aware of the thumping of weakening heart. It had taken a tremendous amount of effort to even pull herself out of the comfortable hotel bed, let alone down the stairs and into the open gaze of her friend. 

Shaking her head, Yeonha inhaled deeply and took her hand, resting her head on her arm happily. She had always been a stickler for affection, showing it every turn possible. Of course, because Yeonha was a measly 150cm, it meant that nearly everyone was taller than her, resulting in whines that refused to leave you even hours after the fact. 

" _Okay, let's go then! We have to make the most of it!_ " Deeply appreciating the bubbly attitude, she resisted the urge to close her eyes and nodded, briefly patting Yeonha's head. 

She knew that she had barely any time left to live. After seeing the article Junghwa had sent, she had spent all night looking through everything she could find about 'Cor Subsisto'. While there had been some conflicting reports on the shadier sites, everything was still similar. 

1\. It was triggered by physical touch

2\. You had 6 days to live after the connection was established

3\. It could **only** be stopped by touching your soulmate once again

How she was supposed to find anyone she may have touched three days ago was anyone's best guess. It was ridiculous and she had given up before she had started; what use was there in stalling fate?

But what she found weird was how little information there was, even the official certified sites that talked about soulmates had briefly glossed over it - hence the reason why she had spent so long to get the bare minimum information. 

Sighing inwardly, she nodded.

"Why don't you invite Junghwa?" The air was cold when they stepped out of the lobby, and it was even colder when Yeonha stopped to stare up at her with an unreadable expression.

Red coloured lips pursed together while she remained seemingly unaffected by the cold. "Are you sure? I don't want you to feel like you're third wheeling."

The switch from english to korean made her blink, causing her to stutter.

"Yes. I like him, I want to know him better before I leave," the reason was true but she also (rather selfishly) wanted Junghwa to be able to comfort Yeonha when she inevitably passed away. She didn't want her to be floundering alone.

For a few moments Yeonha was still before breaking out into a gorgeous smile. " _Yay! I want you to be the best of friends!_ "

Laughing at the enthusiasm, she watched her breath turn into little clouds in front of her while Yeonha quickly dialed her boyfriend, speaking rapid korean into the phone.

Considering that this was their first time ever meeting in the flesh, she was surprised she felt such a strong connection to her. Of course there had been a fondness expressed while texting and helping each other with both Korean and English respectively, she just hadn't expected it to go so far beyond that. 

But she glad it did, Yeonha was her friend of five years while she was beginning her journey and she was still here now; she was now best friend status. 

Perhaps she was being melancholy but wasn't that natural when one knew of their oncoming end date?

"He said to go to his. Let's go to my place first I have to get some things," Agreeing quickly, she realised that she had never seen Yeonha's home. "Prepare for the tiny homes of Seoul to stun you."

"They can't be that small, stop exaggerating."

Yeonha was not exaggerating. The place was tiny at best, downright miniscule at worst. It looked like it had been built for an ant and not a 23 year old woman. 

Granted Yeonha was the size of an ant, but was there a need to have the bed and fridge in the same room?

" _Holy fuck_ ," She spoke, sitting down on the couch and observing her surroundings.

" _Now you know why I want to visit your country,_ " Trailing into the kitchen, Yeonha disappeared from sight while she shook her head. 

As small as it was, it was a cool place that perfectly embodied Yeonha. Small trinkets scattered around as well as some high quality print outs of her own pictures strewn around the light blue coloured walls. She assumed the fan site pictures were hiding in her bedroom away from plain sight. 

Licking her dry lips, she took out her phone and exhaled nervously. She had to tell her friends and family back home, she didn't have it in her to leave them in the dark. She also couldn't tell them the entire truth because she knew it would kill them too.

The flight home was in two days time and she didn't even know if she would be able to make it home properly. She had only tomorrow to make the most of her time.

**Loml**

MC: Hey

MC: I know you're asleep

MC: And I know you won't see this until hours later 

MC: I'm a fucking coward

MC: I love you.

MC: I love you so much okay

MC: Please know that 

MC: Don't be sad

MC: I don't want you to be

MC: You'll see in the post what I got you

MC: You're one expensive bitch! 

MC: sjsjsjs

MC: You're all good and so am I

MC: :*

**My family:**

MC: Hey

MC: I love you all

MC: I'm going to be home in a day

MC: I'll see you all then

MC: Take care please

It was so damn cowardly of her to be hiding away in a different time zone because she didn't want any confrontation, but what else could she do? It would hurt less, for her and for them.

Unable to bare seeing the responses that would inevitably filter through as she woke up, she switched her phone completely off and shoved it into her pocket to forget about. 

Yeonha appeared a moment later, small backpack in her hand as well as two nutrition bars, one of which she held out in offering. 

"Thank you."

"No problem, now let's get to Junghwa's."

* * *

 

His home was a lot different to Yeonha's, something more akin to a bungalow then a flat but considerably bigger and more spacious. Thankfully there wasn't a fridge next to the bed either and she was able to breathe a sigh of relief at that fact. 

Junghwa looked as nice as ever, opening up the door and claiming he had to just change his shirt and he would be done. He looked happy to see her, dimples popping and honey toned skin glowing under the gentle LED lights as he gave her a subtle head nod. It was easy to tell that he had almost god in for a hug, his arms falling quickly back to his side, but had decided against it for fear of overstepping his boundaries. 

However, whatever happiness he displayed towards her was nothing compared to how he lit up upon seeing Yeonha, dimples deep enough to get lost in as he dived in for a quick embrace. He mumbled a 'hello Jagi' before moving away, escorting them inside onto the couch and disappearing into his bedroom.

"Have you been here before?" Yeonha nodded, playing with her fingers and biting the inside of her cheek to hide the grin. 

"Yes. On the first day we met actually, we came here to talk and then I left," nodding at the information, she remained silent. 

That silence didn't last too long though, with Junghwa bounding out quickly with a simple striped blue shirt and a coat shrugged on top. 

"Oh my dear boyfriend, where are we headed today?" Junghwa dramatically placed a finger on his chin, bottom lip jutting outwards as well as a hand on his hip. 

"I think, because of our madam here," he curled a finger in her direction, "we will _go to shopping centre and restaurant_ ," He looked immensely pleased with himself and Yeonha gave him a little cheer while she laughed. 

" _Great! Because of our Sir here,_ I will have a very good day!," Although her wallet would cry rivers afterwards, she couldn't possibly think of a better way to spend her time; wandering around the great city of Seoul with her two friends.

Even though she high doubted that it was possible, his smile grew and he jumpt to his feet, rolling his shoulders and featuring towards the door. "Let's go!"

Even after a while of being in the country, she was unable to fully grasp the full extent of the Korean cosmetics and skincare market; it wasn't called the land of beauty for nothing.

Every aisle as far as the eye could see, held a new product, new cream, new moisturiser that claimed to tighten your pores or to give you glass skin. If she hadn't checked online with certified sites and with Yeonha, she certainly would have been lost. 

The main items she were looking for weren't going to be used for her, instead it would be sent back home in a packages for her best friend and for her family/ acquaintances. Going back empty handed was not on her agenda. 

A little while earlier she had lost track of the couple and had taken to wondering around herself. Yeonha had disappeared a while ago in search of nice lip tints and she had no clue where Junghwa was - or if he was even in the store. 

 Korean was easier to speak than to read and she had to spend a few minutes looking at the names of each product to decipher what it was. 

Just as she was about give up on finding the thing she needed, a crippling pain shot through her chest and made her knees weak, almost collapsing as she hissed, clutching tightly at the fabric above her heart. The world swam, colours and the white of the lights overhead mixing with each other until she could see nothing clearly.  

The only reason she was still upright was because of the tight hold she had on the shelf, the flattering of a few items faintly reaching her ears as she heaved with blurry vision. 

With nothing to stabilise her and bring her back to reality, all she could do was stand there and let her heart try to fix itself. Finally, she stood up and gulped down the scented air, trying her best to get her lungs to stop acting and for her heart to stop stuttering. 

"Are you okay?" Junghwa's concerned voice drifted in from close proximity, a hand falling on her shoulder just a moment later as she mustered her best convincing smile and nodded. 

He looked severely unimpressed. 

"Would you like to go to the hospital?" His concern was sweet and it warmed her heart to know he cared, but hospitals wouldn't be able to do anything. Drugs and prescriptions didn't work in restarting a slowing heart caused by the link. Not even drinking ridiculous amounts of caffeine would add another beat. 

She didn't want to waste time, not her own or the hospital's. "I'm okay, thank you."

Junghwa looked unconvinced, bottom lip white with how hard he was biting it and a frown etched on to his face. "You're not," He countered.

"I am."

"Please. You look pale and your breathing is heavy, go for a check up at least?" Before she would have nodded and agreed but now she adamantly refused to go; much to his chagrin.

She stood up, but stumbled a little. Junghwa's hand shot out, grabbing onto her arm to keep her upright. All she gave as a reply was a tight lipped smile. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out that he wanted to carry on pestering her to go check herself out, but he respected her enough to keep quiet. 

"What are you looking for?" His hand remained on her arm but the grip had looked, trailing down to her wrist instead. Appreciating the attempt at diverting her attention, she spaced a glance over the rows of skin care and hummed. 

"Something for hyperpigmentation?" He nodded, shifting onto his tiptoes to look over the top of the shelves. 

"On the next aisle over. Is it for you?" Gently tugging her along, worry still clear in his eyes, he stopped in front of an entire shelf of pots by the same brand. 

"No it's for my friends back home. They asked for one and my co worker is south east asian, so she's more prone to it."

His hand skimmed over the pots, squatting down a little and squinting to inspect them. "I used some brand my friend recommended me before. He has much darker skin than me and it worked on making his acne scars fade," he continued to squint before finally making a little noise and picking out a tub. 

Packaged in a see through blue frosted glass, it looked professional and neat. She also trusted Junghwa's recommendation. 

Just as she reached out to inspect it herself, he held it behind his back and tugged her down to his level. "You did see the article? About what kind of soulmate link you could have?" 

Once easy and carefree, the smile on her face turned tight lipped and stiff as she nodded. His fingers tightened around her wrist and his friend deepened. "I know I'm not very close with you yet, but I am worried about you. Please don't recklessly throw away your health."

He knew about her soulmate link; of course he did! He was the one who had sent it in the first place, why wouldn't he know? 

Junghwa must have done his own research because he was staring into her eyes like he could read every inch of her soul, see how her heart was slowly giving out on her. 

"I'm not."

He sighed loudly, shaking his head and handing her the blue tub. "I hope your friend and coworker find good results with this cream."

"Yeah. Me too."

With one final hard stare, he let go of her wrist and closed his eyes for a split second, opening them back up and letting himself smile brightly. 

"Would you like anything else? I found most southeast asian people look really nice with dark lip colours. I saw some when I came in, want to see?"

Nodding, she was just thankful that he dropped the topic. 

When she finally reached the counter, she had an entire basket full of things. All of them were for people back home since she would have no need for any of those things herself. 

The woman at the counter smiled good naturedly at her, bowing her head briefly but looking unsure on how to speak with her. 

"Oh, I speak Korean," Instantly, the woman brightened to show off her cute, slightly crooked front tooth. 

"Really? Wow! You can speak fluently?" She nodded and the woman looked thoroughly impressed and it made her smile. Interacting with people who expected her to be clueless always brought her joy. 

Simple things that she used to take were amplified and she could almost feel herself tearing up, managing to barely hold them back as the woman chatted animatedly. 

The saying really was true, you never knew what you had until you lost it. 

"You are very beautiful. I love your eyes, they're so expressive," The sudden compliment made a rush of shyness flush though her, lips curling upwards into a shy smile.

"Thank you. I think you are very beautiful as well. You're surely getting many models deals?" With a laugh, the woman put her things in a bag and shook her head almost ruefully.

"Ah, I'm not that beautiful. But maybe one day!" 

"I hope to see you on a big billboard then!" Waving goodbye, she left the store and found both Junghwa and Yeonha talking amongst themselves outside, Yeonha's back was to her but Junghwa was facing her direction. His eyes flitted upwards and he made eye contact, whispering something quickly before waving her over. 

Shoving the bags into her backpack, she walked over, pretending not to notice the sideways glance that he gave to her. 

"I was thinking we could go to the museum now?" Junghwa spoke more like a question than a statement, yet just as he had said it, Yeonha's stomach grumbled embarrassingly loud. 

Pink tinting her cheeks and bubbly laughter spilling from her lips, she shook her head. "I guess I'm hungry, can we go to a restaurant first? I know a really good one just around the corner."

"I'm down for it. You?" Directing the question at Junghwa, he nodded, his hand slipping into Yeonha's, squeezing it in a silent agreement. "I'm paying them, my treat."

Yeonha flared instantly, shaking her head at her furiously. " _Fuck no_. It was my idea, I'm paying."

"I said it's **my** treat, _midgets have no rights._ "

Aiming for her leg, Yeonha failed in her attempt at a kick, pulled away by Junghwa at the last moment as he laughed. "Why not split it? 50/50?"

The two women stared at each other blankly before breaking and sending beaming smiles to each other - much to Junghwa's amusement. 

"Sure," she agreed and her hand was grabbed, the two pulled along as Yeonha guided them to the restaurant.

* * *

 

It was a nice place, a middle sized establishment that was well looked after with the beautiful lightings overhead and the deep maroon of the wood that acted as a skirting board. There was a feeling of being at home that was present and the smells that permeated through the air made her own stomach growl. 

"Let's sit down," it was easy to find a table for four, a seat extra as she sat opposite the couple. "Everything here is delicious. I really like how they make the gimbap. What would you like?"

She scanned over the menu, blinking at the variety that was offered. Deciding that she didn't really want anything too heavy, she went for the japchae and some gimbap too.

Junghwa ordered for everyone, politely thanking the waiter as he took their orders and walked away as well as when he came back with the food. She had to say, she was impressed with how fast they had prepared it and brought it out. Maybe it was because there were only two other tables besides themselves who were waiting to be served. 

The food was perfect, a giant plate of gimbap soon disappearing as three young adults devoured it in record time. She was quietly eating her own noodles when she noticed Junghwa feed Yeonha, the action bringing a fond yet sad smile to her face.

Her heart ached, the glass noodles falling lightly into the bowl as she stirred at them. It pained her to know she would never see them interact like this ever again, she would never see their relationship blossom beyond it's beginning stages. 

Suddenly, everything seened unappetising and she was swallowing dryly, hand reaching out for the water as she gulped the entire glass down. 

Everything felt so real now. The heavy weight of her turned off phone in her pocket, the dragging of her brain, her dull thoughts and the emotional pain she felt towards everything small thing. She would miss it, she would miss everything.

The two days she had left seemed to be looming over her head, her heart punctuating each long and dreadful second that passed - mocking her with each taunting beat. 

Would her family forgive her? Would her friend be angry with her? Would they hate her for not telling them? 

Endless questions swirled in her head, her appetite completely disappearing the longer she sat quietly. 

Her sights drifted upwards. 

Yeonha looked so beautiful under the gentle lights, her cheeks flushed and grin splitting her cheeks as she fed some of her kimchi to Junghwa. Her best friend, the person who helped bring her to the place with some much history and culture. 

Junghwa looked equally as beautiful, and despite the fact she had only known him for a couple of days, she couldn't stop herself from caring about him. She wished him the world, to never see his smile die out or see his forehead crease with worry. 

But the worst thing was that two people would die as a result of this connection. Both she and her soulmate would perish because of a mere touch, a fated connection that was doomed from the start. 

She never even knew who they were and she never would. Maybe in the next life they could reunite. 

"what's wrong? Is the food too spicy?" Yeonha's frown was deep, troubled at seeing her friend in s state of upset. "You have a high tolerance, don't you?"

A finger touched her cheek, the wetness that transferred to the skin made her blink. She was crying. 

Shaking her head, she wiped her eyes and gave a thumbs up. "I'm okay, don't worry. I guess it was too spicy." That was a complete lie but the last thing she wanted to do was burden her any further. 

Not buying this excuse, Yeonha moved to sit beside her and dabbed at her face gently with a tissue. She didn't even need to look at Junghwa to know that he would be staring right through her. 

"Are you okay?" Yeonha asked again, scrunching the tissue up and putting it into her pocket. "Is anything wrong?" 

"I'm dying."

Yeonha's head tilted, confusion colouring her features. "What do you mean?" 

Planning to backtrack, her mouth opened to speak some bullshit excuse. But then her gaze met Junghwa's and it was a subtle warning, hidden underneath concern and understanding. 

What use would it be to keep it hidden any longer? She would find out eventually. 

"I'm dying, Yeonha. My heart's giving out on me."

The silence that followed was deafening, ringing her ears as Yeonha stared at her unreadably. 

"What do you mean? Explain in english, you're struggling," She was correct, it was hard to articulate her thoughts in the foreign language when she was unable to process them at all. 

" _My heart is slowing down. I can't stop it._ "

"Why didn't you go to the hospital? Do you want to go now, we need to go now," She began to stand up from the table, stopping only when her wrist was grabbed.

"No. _The hospital can't help. It's my soulmate link, our hearts slow down after touching,_ " Yeonha sat back down slowly, brows furrowed and a tinge of desperation in her words. 

"Why? I've never heard of that link."

" _It's rare. It's not a common like a name on my wrist. After 6 days of touching them I will die, today is the third day._ "

Salty tears began to fill Yeonha's eyes, clinging to her lashes as she held her hand tightly, clinging on to it like it would save her life. "Why didn't you tell me earlier? When you met your soulmate, did you see a face? A name?"

As much as she wished she could have said yes, there was nothing she could recall. She had interacted with so many people that it would be impossible to know who she had touched to trigger the link with.

" _I didn't want to burden you with the knowledge that your friend is going to die._ And no, there's no way of telling," Her tone was flat, almost apathetic as she spoke. The noodles swirled pathetically in the bowl as she spun her chopsticks around. "I just want to make the most of today and tomorrow."

The bowl was shoved away from her, chopsticks also snatched from her, forcing her to focus. "What can you do to stop it?"

She shrugged. "The only way to stop it is to touch my soulmate again."

Yeonha deflated at this information, also knowing that it was too stupid and headstrong to believe they would ever find everyone she could have bumped into. A tear rolled down her cheek, sniffling as she pulled her into a tight hug.

'I'm sorry's' and 'please don't leave me' were whispered into her neck, the pain coating each word making her insides twist and turn. 

"It's not your fault. Please don't cry, I want to only see you smile."

It was quiet, each person on the table simmering in their own emotions with the food left untouched. 

Junghwa was on his phone, looking through something before his brows furrowed and he was moving aside his plates, leaning over the table. 

"SM tweeted," Yeonha looked unimpressed, pushing his hand and the phone away with a sigh and a shake of her head.

"I don't really think it's appropriate to care about SM right now, Junghwa."

He shook his head, urging her to look at the phone with another push of his hand. "Look, they have a trending hashtag." The phone was taken from him, her lips forming a straight line as she looked at the worldwide trending hashtags.

1\. #HaechanHeartmate

2\. #해찬 하트 메이트

3\. #FindHisSoulmate 

Pressing on the first hashtag, she carefully read over the various tweets, still not quite comprehending what she was seeing.

'@heonie_s

_Fuckheads, get your arse down to SM NOW! #해찬 하트 메이트_ '

'@FloretKoo

_I stg if you're his soulmate go tf to SM! If I find out any sasaengs are there, watch me and SM scalp you #해찬 하트 메이트'_

'@a_tease

_I really hope he finds his soulmate. 해찬 하트 메이트'_

'@wonhoes

_If Haechan dies you're getting the electric chair @SMTown #해찬 하트 메이트_ '

Yeonha took it from her and redirected her attention to the SM twitter account, pressing on the pinned tweet and reading it. 

Yeonha had the phone for a minute reading over something with eyes that progressively got wider and wider. 

"What is it?" Hastily shoving the phone in her face, she took the phone and began to read over the text. Thankfully there was an English translation posted right underneath by a fan. 

'@SMTown: 

_It has been known that Haechan of NCT has been unable to participate in group activities because of unannounced medical reasons. However it has come to our attention that the reason for this was because of his soulmate indicator: The heart stop link._

_If you have any information regarding anyone who may have come into contact with him within the last three days and are experiencing the same symptoms, please contact the phone number provided or come into the main building of SM._  

_Anyone found to be guilty of loitering or providing dishonest information will be taken to court and held legally accountable. We hope you will work with us and make sure that Haechan remains healthy and makes a speedy recovery_ '. 

"He's your soulmate. Haechan's your soulmate," continuing to stare at the phone, the world seemed to still. 

Haechan? Of NCT? Was her soulmate?

The thought alone was so absurd that she couldn't help but laugh, the sound eerie and spine chilling enough to have Yeonha blinking slowly. " _No way. Holy shit, that's such a joke. Guess there's four people in the world who have this link._ "

Even though she was more muttering to herself out of disbelief, the couple still raised their eyebrows and stood up. Yeonha moved to signal the waiter while she sat there picking at her nails nonchalantly. It really was an odd sight to see. 

Making eye contact with his girlfriend, Junghwa took her hand and guided her out of her seat, pulling her outside and into a more secluded area where they wouldn't be overheard; the last thing they needed was someone to overhear and then harass them.

" _Stop being stupid._ Haechan is your soulmate, the times match up and you know how rare the link is. There's no way it's a coincidence. You touched hands three days ago," it was easy to see what she was panicking, understandably so with the situation at hand. 

" _He can't be._ We're not the same. He's an idol, I'm not. It'll never work, _I can't do it. Junghwa, I can't. Please tell me it's not him,_ " 

Roughly grabbing a hold of her shoulders, he frowned and shook his head, staying completely silent until Yeonha came outside with red eyes. "You don't have to stay with him. Just please, meet him and leave. I want you to be okay, I don't want you to die when you have the opportunity to live now."

She felt sick down to her stomach, everything she had known flipping onto its head and leaving her stranded as she floundered in the unknown. How would she even begin to deal with a soulmate younger than her, let alone someone who was famous on top of that? 

There was much she didn't want to involve herself with: Sasaengs, the media, the actual group itself. 

Haechan. Lee donghyuck: the name of her soulmate. 

"But we- I, _I'm gonna be sick_ ," Hands gently rubbed her back, smoothing across her shirt and attempting to calm her down as her chest heaved. 

There were going to be so many reporters there, they were all going to hound them as soon as they walked in. She couldn't do it. She was okay being part of the crowd, but no way in hell was she alright with being mobbed. 

As if sending her unease, the two moved closer. "We can hide you. I'm tall enough to comfortably hide you and I have some masks. If you pull your hood over your head, no one will see your face. We'll do the same, okay?" 

"Please," Yeonha added, "don't be selfish. Haechan is dying too, you have everything right to leave straight away when you're both okay."

Yeonha was right, she would be senselessly selfish to not at least go over and help him. She was the one who had all the control in this situation and that fact made her feel a little more in control. 

"You'll be there with me? All the way inside?" 

"We promise."

They weren't lying, they would never lie to her over something like this.

She nodded. " _Okay._ "


	5. And

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics during speech and tweets are English

"Hyung, what the hell?!" To say that Donghyuck was shocked was a complete lie, he was beside himself! How on earth was it that he didn't even find out about his Hyung's 'ingenious' method until he saw it for himself while he was scrolling on twitter?

The entire thing was so absurd that he didn't know if he should have laughed or cried. 

Taeil was sat on the couch beside him, barely peeking up at his exclamation and instead smiling to himself, amused at the events going on in front of him. Donghyuck wasn't bothered enough to call him out for openly finding entertainment in his misery; he would have done the same thing.

"Yah, don't give me that attitude Donghyuck, you know this was the easiest way to do!" He did know and that bothered him. He didn't want to worry the fans and now he had gone and done exactly that.

The tweets he had seen confirmed this, and even if he laughed at a few of them, the overwhelming majority of them were worried for him. 

Shifting next to him, he quickly glanced at Taeil's phone and struggling to keep his composure as he read the tweet on screen. It was in english but he had pressed the Korean translation and was enough to have Taeil smirking wildly behind his hand. 

' _@florallyambiguous_

' _SM you better prepare their arseholes, you're getting fucked by these fans my dude. #plzprayforthem #해찬 하트 메이트_ '

Jaehyun was not amused, shaking his head at the beginnings of laughter that made his lips twitch while Dongyoung had folded his arms, glaring him down sternly.

"Would it even work?" Finally, Taeil looked up, hearing the desperation that was in his words. 

"Why wouldn't it? Your generation is so pessimistic. They'll see it or someone else will," Ignoring the classic jab at his age, his shoulders sagged as he exhaled, the exhaustion settling his bones and making his life harder than it had to be. 

"What Hyung said," Dongyoung agreed, letting his features often considerably before he sighed, walking over to place a gentle hand on his shoulders. It was horrible to feel how gaunt and sharp his shoulder was, the effects of the link making it hard for him to eat anything more than a few mouthfuls. "The twitter tag is trending worldwide and the manager called me to say that some people are already appearing at the building."

"What if they're lying?" 

That was a genuine fear he had, that some Sasaengs would come and claim that they were his soulmate and ultimately do nothing but disappoint him. He needed people to be genuine and unfortunately, not everyone was.

"There's a few doctors there already. If they're faking their symptoms, they won't get very far," that fact reassured him greatly, pulling himself up onto his elbows to glance at Dongyoung's sincere expression. "This was the easiest way to do it.'

Jaehyun moved away from the living room, heading towards the bedrooms before he stopped, facing the duo for a split second. "You two better leave before Taeyong-hyung hears, you already know how that will turn out. He sent a text just now saying he's on his way."

Instantly they were both scrambling upwards, even despite the breaking of his joints and the off beat rhythm of his heart. Donghyuck would much rather have his body ache like he was 80 years old than have to be subjected to Taeyong's incessant nagging and babying; Dongyoung seemed to share the same sentiment. 

"Damn, let's go quickly then," Jaehyun briefly gave him a thumbs up before disappearing, his smile soft and honest. 

With a hand pressed to his back and coat pulled over his shoulders, he was rushed out of the house and down towards SM's main building. 

* * *

 

Thankfully no one has seen him enter but he had managed to catch a glimpse of the crowd outside the front and he was mortified at the sheer number of people that had shown up. Reporters and paparazzi were trying desperately to catch a glimpse of the people going inside - which weren't really that many to his surprise.

Security guards held back fans who were leering at the entrance, people hiding their faces as they walked inside while others blew dramatic kisses to the cameras. It was wild to say the least.

"The media doesn't rest," Dongyoung sighed, adjusting his mask and hiding behind a guard as they headed in through the back entrance, "don't they know that it'll only make it harder for your soulmate to get through. God knows I wouldn't want my face plastered everywhere for netizens to judge."

Despite agreeing with Dongyoung's grumbles, he couldn't bring himself to do anything more than no, his mouth completely dry and his body sluggish. More than once a bodyguard had nudged him, asking he wanted assistance or a piggy back and more than once he had declined, not wanted to be pitied. 

He knew that it wasn't pity that was making them ask but it sure felt like it when he could feel their worried stares burning into his skin, making him squirm in his thick parka jacket. 

The sunglasses on the bridge of his nose slid downwards, finger pushing them upwards as he managed to get one last glance towards the entrance. A tall man was walking in, his head down and features not visible as he hurried inside what looked like another two people.

He wasn't really all that bothered, instead focusing on the dull tapping of Dongyoung's fingers against the metal walls as they got into the lift.

"Is it accurate?" He asked one of the guards that was stood closest to him, straining his neck slightly to look up at the lanky man. "Would a crazy fan be able to get past?" 

The guard shook his head, Dongyoung's eyes trained on him as he spoke. 

"There are doctors at the entrance. Anyone who is faking a symptom will be taken to court. The outcome has been low despite the crowds outside," Honestly, he was stuck between being assured or being scared. 

So many what if's whirled through his mind: what if he didn't find them? What if everyone who manages to get in was a fake? What if they didn't see the post? What if his soulmate link was one sided?

The last one hurt his already broken heart to think about, it was rare that such a thing occurred but wasn't his condition already one of the rarest? It wasn't implausible to think so. as selfish as it was of him, he really didn't want to be the only one suffering, he wanted to know that he had someone out there that was dying (quite literally) to meet him.

His hands shook, trembling unconsciously before they were enveloped in heat, Dongyoung's warm fingers lacing around his and squeezing tightly. Although he had not said it out loud recently, he was incredibly thankful for how maturely Dongyoung was handling the situation - surely it was surreal for him and and rather difficult, but he had never complained.

"Hyung?" 

"Yes?"

"Thank you," Dongyoung glanced at him, smiling softly at him before giving his hand another gentle squeeze that spoke every word that didn't pass his plush lips. 

You're welcome, he had said, you don't need to thank me.

Slowly, they approached one of the empty meeting rooms on the third floor, a floor that he rarely had a use for unless someone had decided to stink up the toilet (usually Mark) on the second floor where they practised. 

"Would you like us to remain inside with you?" Dongyoung shook his head, his other hand tapping gently on his thigh. 

"No, you're okay," The guard that has spoken nodded, opening the door for them with his bundles of keys that he had, before he stepped out while giving them a curt nod in acknowledgement.

Finally, they were alone again. 

Hearing the click behind them, signaling that the door had been closed, Donghyuck let go of his hand and immediately sank down into one of the spinning chairs that was available, sighing at the comfort his aching joints received. 

Though, he noticed as he was struggling off his jacket and facial obscurers, that Dongyoung hadn't stopped staring at him since he'd entered the room. His eyes rolled playfully, cheeky smirked playing on his lips, "Hyung, I know I'm beautiful but staring is rude."

Immediately the eye roll was returned, Dongyoung finding purchase in one of the other office chairs that lay about in the room. "Shut up. I'm just worried."

Normally he would have mocked him or made a comment that would have earnt a slap to the back of his head, but right now, while his condition was slowly deteriorating, he couldn't find it within himself to be anything more than grateful. His heart stuttered within his chest soundlessly, his breathing wheezy and exhales audible; it sounded disturbingly similar to a death rattle. 

"They'll come, right?" Dongyoung nodded but he was no fool, there was uncertainty swimming in his eyes despite his head moving to signal 'yes.'

Donghyuck sighed, eyes closing and air rushing past his ears as he spun. He didn't know what to believe anymore. 

"What do you think they're like?" Dongyoung asked, his coat rustling while he, presumably, took it off. "What do you want them to be like?"

Fully aware that it was a tactic to distract him, he could wholeheartedly say that it was working. With a faint shrug, he continued to spin on the chair, air whooshing in his ears. "I don't know. Kind, I guess? I just want them to be happy with me, I'm not bothered about details."

"Huh," said Dongyoung, "since when were you so mature? Little Hyuckkie is growing up," even if his eyes weren't open, he still knew exactly what theatrics were being played and he had half a mind to reach over and shove him away as hard as he could. 

"What about you, Hyung? What do you want in a soulmate?" It was silent for a few seconds before there was a reply. 

"Someone who understands. I'm not bothered about whether or not they're from the industry but someone who is flexible and understanding," Dongyoung spoke, sounding sincere and honestly with every word. 

The man had always valued his ability to understand others and to see their point of views before taking a side, it was no wonder that he seeked that same quality in his soulmate. Dongyoung's mark wasn't conventional, but it wasn't something that needed to be covered up either. 

Whenever he would go to sleep, instead of a dream he would see the day his soulmate and what they were currently seeing. It allowed a glimpse into their lives and Dongyoung treasured it. However it was hard to get information this way and it was a work in progress trying to find them. One thing they did know was that they weren't in Korea; they were always out and about in daylight whenever Dongyoung put his head down to rest. 

But really, he would have killed for a simple link like that instead of having damn heart failure because he couldn't find his. 

Pressing two fingers to his pulse point on his neck, he hummed quietly to himself. Thump, thump, pause, and another thump. 'Hm,' he the thought, 'maybe we could make a beat out of this.'

Just as he opened his mouth to voice his ridiculous idea to his hyung, there was a gentle knock on the door. At first he had mistaken it for his heart echoing in his ears but he quickly realised once Dongyoung got up to open the door, that it wasn't all in his head. 

"Shit," Cursing under his breath, (even though Dongyoung heard it loud and clear and gave him a withering glare) he stood up and tried to make himself look presentable.

He had a split second to turn around and fix his messy hat hair using his reflection before the door was fully opened. 

"Come in," Dongyoung smiled graciously at the three people plus bodyguard and manager that walked in. That confused him greatly, why was there three people walking in? Unless he had the link with three people but he hardly thought that was possible. "You're all Haechan's soulmate?" Dongyoung asked, just as bewildered as he was. 

The male in the group shook his head while pulling down his mask to talk. "No we just didn't want her to be by herself, I hope you don't mind," he finished his sentence with a little bow and Donghyuck nodded. 

His eyes grazed over the rest of the group, one girl that he recognised as the fan site that he had seen a while ago during his promotions, but the other person was hidden, not even on his tiptoes was he able to spot her. 

The fansite turned around, whispering something too low for him to hear and turned back to face him, a calming simper on her lips that eased the building worry within him.

It was almost in slow motion that she stepped out and his eyes widened, instantly recognising her. Though now her face was no longer obscured by everything she had on back then, he could remember her striking hues even now. 

"It's me," His heart sank almost instantly, fluttering with a dizzying intensity as he swallowed thickly. His palms suddenly felt sweaty, his nerves and adrenaline skyrocketing until he was barely able to keep still. 

She was _gorgeous_. He could hardly believe that someone so beautiful was destined to be his soulmate. Her features were not native to Korea but they held regality still, from her startlingly perceptive eyes down to the contours and highs of her face. Her lips, although currently being bitten on, were carved and sculpted as though by the gods.

But she was nervous, and he was able to tell from the way she was wringing her wrists continuously and how her bottom lip was nearly chewed raw. 

Clearing his throat, he braced himself internally and spoke. "High touch?" 

The overwhelming sense of deja vu was enough to make him , watching with rising tension as she walked towards him. The entire room was looking at them both but he hardly noticed, why would he when she was there in front of him?

Standing a few inches in front of him, her hand slowly raised before it hesitated just moments away from his palm. Her fingers curled before uncurling, the subtle sigh that she let out relaxing her entire body. 

When her hand finally touched his, there was nothing and overwhelming sense of disappointment washed over him, nearly bringing him to tears as she stared blankly at him, almost analytically. And then: it hit him.

It felt like air was being breathed back into his lungs, his chest no longer hurting with every inhale or exhale, his heart stopped stuttering, stammering, instead returning to a normal and safe pace. Everything that once hurt with every subtle movement or turn was now painless, no longer troubling him or making him lightheaded like he'd been mere moments ago. 

Peace finally washed over him, his strength returning and the weight of his link dissipating under her touch. And judging from the way her eyes had widened, lips parted in shock, he assumed she felt the same. 

Subconsciously, his fingers tightened around hers, lacing themselves so that he was holding her hand, amazement glossing over his features.

"You're my soulmate," he whispered, barely audible but it seemed to reach her just fine, her eyes lifting and meeting his head on. Yet, he couldn't make out what she was thinking, her iris' holding nothing concrete that he would definitively say was one thing or the other. 

Slowly, she pulled her hand away, tucking them into her pockets and giving him a strained smile that didn't reach her eyes. He didn't really care, his hand still tingling from the contact. 

"Yes," she bowed quickly and politely, "I'm glad you're okay, Haechan. I hope you feel better soon," she slowly began to back away, the smile dropping from her lips, "it was nice to meet you."

The sugar sweet smile that brightened up his countenance soon fell, replaced by a furrowing of his brows as she turned around and away from him. Why did she sound like she was leaving already?

Frozen in place, he watched as she shuffled back next to the man and her friend, hood pulled over her head. The fansite that he recognised whispered something in her ear and she shook her head adamantly. 

Dongyoung caught his eye, the panic that began to settle within his gut loud and clear in his gaze as they began walking to the door. Neither the manager nor the guard seemed to want to go out of their way to stop them from leaving and he was too far from the door to intercept them.

Nimbly, his lithe figure used to his advantage, he slipped between the people and shut the door, stopping them from leaving because he knew that it would break Donghyuck's heart otherwise. 

"Wait!" He called out, blocking the handle and staring her in the face, "why are you leaving so quickly? Is something the matter?"

Taking the opportunity, he quickly walked closer and saw how the manager avoided meeting his eyes, like they knew something that he didn't. It bothered him but he would address it later when his soulmate wasn't trying to run away from him. 

She looked so small and vulnerable, her face half hidden as she shrunk into her coat and hood, almost like she was trying to hide away from him. Even if she dared not speak a word, he could sense her emotions running rampant, line of vision cast towards the floor and not at his Hyung that was looking at the whole group with confusion.

"Are you not going to stay?" Dongyoung tried again, tone borderline accusatory and only making her hide further into herself. For someone with a smile so healing and pure, Dongyoung's tongue was sharp and bitter. 

For someone that wasn't used to the way he spoke and expressed himself, it wasn't too far fetched to assume that they would feel uncomfortable or intimidated. 

And she was, he could easily tell by how she took a single step back, trying to get closer to the security her friends offered.

" _I- um_ ," even if he had heard her speak no more three words, he decided that he enjoyed hearing her talk, "I only came so he would live. I didn't mean to stay any longer than that, that's all…" She paused awkwardly before the man beside her whispered something, "Doyoung-ssi."

Dongyoung frowned knowing that he couldn't do much at all to stop her from leaving if that was what she wanted to do, but he couldn't understand why; neither could Donghyuck.

Inhaling raggedly, his body moving faster than his brain, he had rushed over and grabbed her hand, pulling it between both of his with his head lowered in an almost submissive stance. If he had looked up he would have seen the look of shock that painted her visage and immobilised her. 

"You can't go! You're my soulmate, I- you're not supposed to go," his words lowered to a level nearly below a whisper, voice nearly breaking at how hard he was trying to hold back the tears of frustration that burnt the back of his eyes.

Her hand was so warm, so nicely fitting in his and it hit him like a truck when she responded away from him like he had tried to poison her. There was no warmth nor smile (no matter how insincere) on her face and his now working heart felt like it was being crushed beyond capacity. 

All she offered was a pathetic 'I'm sorry' before she turned around again, this time her body blocked by her friend who could only offer him a genuine look of sympathy. 

Sympathy was the last fucking thing he wanted. What he wanted was for her to turn around and explain why she was running away because he knew he would be thinking about the encounter for hours on end.

"Pl-" A hand wrapped around his arm, tugging him away from the small group and he was forced to watch as his soulmate slipped through his fingers once more. Out she went through the door, not turning back even once to see whether or not her actions has any consequences.

He was torn between between being hysterically or hysterically upset, the emotions that bubbled in his gut were tearing him apart from the inside out, hyper focused on the way the door swung openly.

Back and forth. 

Back and forth. 

Back and fo- 

The door was forced shut.

For a while it was silent, his own ragged breathing echoing in his ears as the hand around his arm tightened, trying to draw a reaction from him that wasn't just a dazed silence. 

It worked, in a way, because the next thing he knew, he was tearing up, the burning in his eyes overwhelming him as he sniffled.

"Hyung, why?" 

The one word encapsulated so many things he was questioning: why did she look so scared? Why did she not want to touch him? Why did she look like she would have rather died than have come?

Dongyoung could only bite his lip as he looked at the crying boy in front of him, with tears streaking across his skin and his eyes and cheeks red as he tried to furiously wipe them away. " Why did she leave, Hyung?"

Donghyuck could have laughed at how the entire thing had turned out. The bitter laughter clawing at his throat until he was chuckling humourlessly, his knees wobbling like jelly.

Anger burned at Dongyoung yet he couldn't bring himself to hate her. She must have had her reasons for acting in the way that she did, however he wished that she had executed it better. He had clearly seen the way her eyes had widened when their hands touched, so why did she act like nothing had affected her when it so clearly did? What was he supposed to tell him now? 

"I don't think it was you, Donghyuckkie. She seemed nervous from the beginning, I think it was more than just meeting you that had her wound up. Don't take it to heart," Dongyoung said not to take it too personally but how could he not? He had seen with his own two eyes how quickly she had pulled away from him, how emotionless her piercing hues were.

If he wasn't supposed to take it personally, what was he supposed to take it as? 

Nodding blindly, he randomly remembered that the manager was still there. Dongyoung followed his train of thought, noticing fairly quickly how the man hadn't spoken a single word despite being talkative in normal circumstances. 

"Manager-hyung? What happened?" There was force behind his question, the manager shuffling on his feet as he refused to look up at them in the eyes.

"She requested that she would be able to leave immediately after, she also requested that we don't keep any of her details and we legally have to oblige with that. She also refused to come unless we let her friends come too," Was he supposed to feel better knowing those facts? Because he honestly just felt worse.

Did she really despise him so much that she wanted nothing at all to do with him, that she couldn't even keep her details on record to let him contact her?

The tears that dried on his cheeks were sticky, tacky to the touch and irritating. He was so tired. 

People had always said that meeting your soulmate was one of the best experiences of their lives; of course he had to be the anomaly.

Donghyuck sighed. At least he wasn't dying anymore, even if it still felt like he was.

The door opened once again as the room had fallen into quiet, each person occupied by the thoughts in their mind. The bodyguard that had escorted them out bowed as he entered, looking around the room before standing just in front of Donghyuck with his hand outstretched.  

"Seo Yeonha-ssi has requested I give this to you," a small slip of paper was handed to him, his brows furrowing as he mumbled a thank you before both the guard and the manager left.

"What is it?" Dongyoung looked over his shoulder as she slowly unravelled the folded slip.

What was inside made his insides curl up again; whether it was relief or anxiety, he wasn't able to tell.

'(y/n) xxxxxxxxxxx.'

* * *

 

'@SMTown

In thanks to everyone that has come forward with information and links, Haechan of NCT's soulmate has been found. He has been medically checked over and we can confirm that he will no longer need to be under constant supervision. He will make a speedy recovery. We thank you for your cooperation and hope you will continue to support NCT and Haechan.'

The statement that had been written was mediocre at worst, boring at best. It left out a lot of details and information but it was enough to satisfy the fans (read: most of the fans).

Staring straight ahead, he didn't even bother to look out of the window and into the streets of Seoul. The last thing he wanted to see was soulmates holding hands and looking like they were in love, it would only be rubbing salt in the wound. 

"Will you call the number?" Shrugging at Dongyoung's question, he felt a gentle few pats on his shoulder and he opened his closed fist.

He should have been grateful that he even had her number and her name and yet? There was a bitter taste in his mouth that refused to leave no matter how many times he swallowed down the guilt. 

Why did he have to get her number through her friend? Did she really want no contact with him to the point where someone else had to give him her number?

He was pretty sure that if he spent any longer dwelling on the millions of questions that passed through his head, he would internally combust.

Thankfully, he didn't need to as the car had just pulled up just behind the dorm building. He was the first out of the car, running out like a firework that had been confined - it was done so in a manner that made him remember their first ever meeting. He had been running out of the car and decided to high five everybody there before his life turned upside down just hours later. 

With a low huff, he ran up the stairs, not even bothering to wait for Dongyoung who was still walking into the building, and burst through the front door. 

What he had been expecting was an empty down, maybe a few 127 members milling about. Not almost the entire goddamn group of 21 people!

As soon as the door swung open, a chorus of shrieks and yells of his name started up and he knew that there would be a noise complaint just moments later. 

'Haechan!' and 'Donghyuck!' even a yell of 'sunshine!' greeted him as he walked in, the sea of faces that were happy to see him lightening his mood marginally. 

It was Yukhei that bounded over first, nearly swiping him cleaning off his feet with how hard he had grabbed his wrist and tugged him to the middle of the group. "We saw the twitter update! You found your soulmate!" 

His stomach, that had settled over time in the car, was pushing acid back up his throat again. He wouldn't let them see, he didn't want any pity nor sympathy. 

"Yeah," his smile was counterfeit, cheap, "I did."

Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Johnny's expression turn into one of confusion, his mouth opening but he was interrupted by Chenle's excited person.

"Are they pretty? Hyung, do you like them?" When Chenle was talking, there was no way in hell that anyone else would get a word in.

"She's pretty," Purposely not answering the second question, he looked around to try and spot and escape, a gap in the endless group of people. 

An arm wrapped around his shoulder, Ten's voice reaching his ears as he laughed before messing up his hair in a similar way to Taeil. It made him wonder if they picked the habit up from each other. 

"Yah!"

"Did you talk? What did you say to each other?" Ten questioned, earning a tut from Taeyong who had parted the sea of NCT like a korean Moses. 

"Don't be nosy, guys. Give him room to breathe," Mutters of apologies and agreements came from the people present, more room given and with it, more chance to duck away and hide in his room.

"I can't believe **you** found your soulmate before me," Jaemin shook his head with a look of exasperation before noticing that Donghyuck's attention was on him. This led to his next smirk laced sentence that earnt him three hearty slaps to the back of his head, "maybe I'll steal yours. She has to be patient to put up with someone like you."

And even though he knew it was all in good humour, his mood instantly plummeted. Shrugging off the hand on his shoulder, he began to barge past the people in his way, not caring if he stood on a few toes. He just really did not want to be bombarded right now, even if they all meant well. 

No one bothered to follow after him, a brief glance over his shoulder telling him why; Dongyoung had finally entered the room and he already knew that pitying stares would burn into his back soon after. 

Lock clicking to his shared bedroom, he launched himself on the bed, taking a moment to kick off his shoes and coat. Taeyong and Kun couldn't nag him for what they couldn't see. 

His back lay on the plush mattress, almost sinking into the comfort it provided; if only comfortable beds could stop the ache within his soul. Maybe he was being dramatic or like a stroppy teen but it was justified. At least, he thought it was. 

Lifting his hand once more, he stared at the numbers on the paper that laughed at him mockingly. Her name was pretty also, it suited her well and he only wished he had heard it from her lips and not some ink.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he stared at the add contact option, the green burning into his eyes before he finally mustered up the courage to press on the numbers. One by one, he began to enter the numbers until he reached the final one, mouth suddenly dry as he added her name to the top.

What was he supposed to do now? 

For all the stories his parents had told him about soulmates and how everything would click again once, nothing like that had happened even once. Sure he has felt a connection to her when their palms had touched but otherwise? She seemed disinterested, like she would have more of a chance of falling for the dog shit on the side of the road. 

Perhaps his attraction was one sided. He would never know until he asked. 

Swallowing down the lump in his throat, he pressed on her contact and then timidly, pressed on message. 

Hyuck: Hi

Hyuck: This is Haechan

Hyuck: Your friend gave me your number

Hyuck: I hope we can talk soon

He knew that her seeing the message was a long shot and that he currently had a better chance of becoming the next president. For a few minutes he did nothing but stare, slowly becoming more and more anxious as the single tick remained. 

She hadn't even received the message.

In a fit of frustration, he threw his phone on to his pillow and sat up, hands running through his dishevelled locks before he stood up. Sitting there and moping would do him no good. 

Quickly, without a single spared look, he unlocked the door and left the room, the unread messages remaining unread for hours to come.

* * *

 

The dog pile that he was under was comforting, the crushing of his body and lungs reminding him that the pain was no longer internal, but external because the entirety of NCT dream (minus Jisung and mark) thought it would be funny to pile up on top of him.

"Psst," Air hit his ears, his fingers flying upward and chills traveling down his neck as Jaemin hissed, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings," despite the fact that he was literally unable to look Jaemin in the eyes because he was being squashed, he managed a smile.

"Psst," he hissed back, "it's okay."

"Ow! Hyung!" The loud shriek came from Chenle, a hand landing on the back of his thigh with a loud slap that resonated within the room. "Stop smacking me!"

Jeno only laughed like the sadist they all knew him to be and squirmed atop the younger boy, he was having so much fun bullying the 4 other people under him that he didn't notice that Yukhei had entered the room.

"Oh! You're having a party, I wanna join!" The look of pure fear that crossed Jeno's face would have made him piss himself laughing under any other circumstance, but he mirrored that fear once he saw Yukhei have a running start. 

"Oh shit! Get up, move!" The dreamies tried to scramble away, shrieking and yelling in terror but, unfortunately, it was all in vain.

With a loud and Yukhei like yodel, the older boy launched himself onto the dogpile and absolutely murdered everyone that was in it. And sadly for Donghyuck, he was right at the bottom getting suffocated within an inch of his life. 

"Oof! Oh my god, I'm gonna die! NCT's visual is dying!" With the words that left his mouth, he was only further pressed into the sofa cushion, a hand on the back of his neck forcing him into it before he was released upon hearing a bark of 'oi' from Yuta.

"Kill him later, I'm trying to watch something," Yukhei smothering them to death was scary but the thought of Yuta's wrath was scarier. The dreamies instantly shut their mouths as they rolled off each other, the majority of them ended up on Yukhei.

It was so nice to be able to laugh and giggle freely, without wondering if it would be the last thing he would ever be able to do something. With that gratitude though, sadness slowly began to creep up to him. He turned to shuffling up on the sofa, head resting on Mark's shoulder who only gave him a brief side glance before looking back at his phone.

"You need to go on a diet, Xuxi-hyung. Kun-mama isn't fat, you are!" Yukhei laughed brightly, grabbing Chenle and putting him into a headset, daring him to repeat what he had said while the youngest chinese boy looked like he was about to die.

A smile tugged at his lips as how natural everyone was and he was incredibly thankful that they weren't treating him like a fragile china piece. The last thing he needed, or wanted, was to be coddled like a little baby over it. 

Arms winding around Mark's waist, he sighed and swung his legs, watching the anime on screen with interest. Being the weebs that they were, Johnny, Jaehyun and Yuta were lined up on the floor in front of the couch watching a new one that he hadn't seen before. From the bits and pieces that he caught, it looked interesting enough. 

Even so, he wasn't too engaged with it, instead deciding that being nosy would bring him more satisfaction. Sneakily, in his eyes anyway, he looked over Mark's shoulder and at his phone screen. Like everyone else, he was scrolling through twitter, though specifically through SM's mentions. 

Mark, feeling a stare burn into him, looked up. 

Instead of struggling him off like usual and telling him to move up, Mark kept quiet and continued looking at his phone before stopping at a Haechan fansite that had posted.

It was an image of some blurry figures, crowds in front of the camera blocking most of the view. Even with the high quality lens that they were equipped with, it was hard to make out any features at all. Mark scrolled down to the time stamp and he realised that it was taken before they had met, more than. likely while they were heading into the building. 

He recognised the blue coat that her male friend had been wearing, as well as the masks obscuring the entirety of their faces. Even though the quality wasn't that clear and you could clearly tell that they were speeding past, he still knew that it was her, even with her hood up and her body almost entirely obstructed from view by the other two.

It was in a set of photos, each one of different people that had walked into the building and that people had presumed to be his soulmate. There weren't very many that had the audacity to walk in, especially after being threatened with legal action should they be found guilty of lying. 

"Are any of these her?" Mark questioned, holding out his phone and moving through the pictures, letting Donghyuck point to it. 

His hand unfurled from the older boy's bicep, pointing at the hidden figure that you had to strain to see. "That's her."

Mark lifted the phone closer to his own face before lowering it back down again. "Wow, that's really hard to see," he commented, more to himself than to Donghyuck, "what was she like? You have her number, don't you?"

Donghyuck nodded, pretending not to notice how the room had gone quiet, everyone's ears tuned into their conversation. He wasn't really bothered, he was just embarrassed that his soul mate has blown him off so easily. He couldn't help it when his mind kept replying that moment where she gave him a forced smile before backing away.

"Yeah, I have her number. She wasn't the one who gave it to me, her friend did," he shrugged non-committedly even though it scalded his insides. 

It also seemed like she didn't know who he really was. Of course he hadn't expected her to address him as Donghyuck, but the fact that she had to pause and have Dongyoung's name whispered to her spoke volumes. Did she even know about NCT?

"She was polite," he couldn't fault her on that. even while addressing him she never let up on her manners.

Johnny looked over his shoulder, patting him gently on his knee. "What did she look like? All the pictures are blurry and I'm pretty sure they left out of the back too."

Closing his eyes, he did his best to remember her features without the bias of his hurt feelings. "She's foreign I'm pretty sure, she's really pretty. I think she's older than me too, maybe about 20 or 21."

"She spoke English?" Renjun asked, head tilting.

"No, korean. Her pronunciation was really good, I didn't notice a difference," he was too busy having his heart shattered to really analyse her korean speaking skills. 

Yuta shifted in front of him. "You know her name?"

"(y/n)."

A few comments were made here and there, mostly positive while others were just noises of acknowledgment. Then there was a silence that did nothing but make him squirm. 

"Hyuck," Jaehyun started, not bothering to turn around, his eyes glued to the colourful images on screen, "are you okay?"

Deciding that he should just be honest, he shook his head, mumbling a soft 'no.' It was so hard to be vulnerable but he knew it would eat him alive otherwise. They would also never make fun of him for it. "I don't understand why she left so fast. Maybe she was scared but I don't know why she would be. It's not like I'm scary."

"It's not that you yourself are scary, Hyuck, it's just what you are can be intimidating to some people. You have to remember that you're an idol and she was probably a random person who just happened to make contact with you. The mobs and the crowds outside the building are scary enough for us and we see them almost daily, let alone a person who's never dealt with something like that. You said she looked foreign?" He nodded, "The culture shock also then. Imagine going to a foreign country and finding out that your soulmate is there and almost dying. And then on top of that, you find out that they're famous too. It's not the easiest thing to adjust to."

Jaehyun's words resonated within him, looking at his lap as he thought over what had just been said to him. It hit him hard, knowing that he had only been seeing it from his own perspective when she also had her own. She could have stayed and talked it out with him, nonetheless she didn't and he had to accept that.

She obviously had a reason and only if he asked he would find out exactly what that reason was. 

He wasn't about to let his soulmate slip through his fingers for the second time; he had more integrity than that. If she still didn't want to keep contact after giving him a reason, he would leave her alone and deal with it. 

"You have her number, ask her to meet up with you tomorrow. SM will give you the time off so don't worry about that, the fans will riot otherwise," Yuta insisted, patting his knee again reassuringly. 

He nodded, a solid plan set in his mind. He was going to try his hardest to contact her, and if she didn't want to see him, so be it. 

Donghyuck wasn't going down without any sort of explanation, he deserved that much at the very least.


	6. Lifetimes

The sheets under her body were uncomfortable, the weight of her feelings and her body morphing and deforming the hotel mattress. Everything threatened to crush her, suffocating her and compressing her heart and lungs within an iron fist. 

Black screen glinting menacingly back at her, she couldn't even swallow properly, throat dry and eyes stinging from the ache within her. It was consuming, eating her alive as each second ticked by, guilt building further on her shoulders until she couldn't stop it anymore.

Why did she have to be so fucking selfish? Did she have no heart? What kind of a monster was she?

His face had been so full of hurt, the pleading in his eyes seared into her memory, forcing itself to remain at the forefront of her mind to remind her of what she had done. Even now, her skin still tingled from where they had touched, the persistent feeling slowly driving her insane. 

Even if everything else was a blur, from the restaurant to the actual process of being allowed inside, she could remember two things: Doyoung's hardened glare as he blocked the door and the crushed expression of her soulmate; of Haechan.

Hands curled up tightly, nails threatening to harpoon the skin of her palm, the soft touch of Yeonha made her blink. 

"It's okay," She spoke, voice gentle and heartfelt, "you did well. We couldn't have expected anything more from you."

She appreciated how hard she tried to reassure her, to make her feel like less of a villain and more like the human she was - she only wished that it worked. 

Junghwa's expression was neutral, calm as he regarded her. There was no judgment on his face, only acceptance and understanding. 

It only made the back of her eyes sting more, her breath catching in the back of her throat and a lump rapidly forming as she blinked rapidly - willing herself not to cry. 

She didn't deserve to cry. How could she cry like she wasn't the one who had hurt the poor and faultless young man by running away like a coward?

"You're okay," Junghwa echoed and that was the final straw, hands moving from the sheets to cover her face. 

" _I'm a piece of shit. I'm such a massive piece of fucking shit,_ " Yeonha visage was full of sympathy, her smaller arms gently wrapping around her shoulders, smoothing the skin of her cheeks with her thumbs and trying her hardest to stop the physical evidence of her regret and grief from staining her skin and clothes. 

Hot and nearly painful tears cascaded down her cheeks, the embarrassment of her actions catching up to her hard. 

Junghwa patted her thigh, trying his hardest to be comforting while keeping in mind that she was vulnerable, "You're not a piece of shit. I promise you. What you did was justified and no one will blame you for wanting to leave so quickly."

Her eyes were rimmed with red, wet around the edges and it was hard not to feel sympathy for her. Of course the manner in which she has fled wasn't the politest, but he could hardly harbour any ill will towards her when he knew exactly how terrified she had been from the beginning.

"Really? You don't think I'm a horrible person for leaving like that?" Junghwa shook his head. 

"No, not at all," That seemed to reassure her a lot more, the back of her hands wiping furiously at her face in an attempt to hide the evidence of her emotions; it was damage control. 

Even if the smile she forced was fake, it was better than nothing. "Thank you," she inhaled, looking back down at her turned off phone, "what should I do? I'm so… Confused."

The dilemma at hand was hard to judge. What _should_ she have done in a situation like this? 

"I think you should tell your parents and friends what happened. They can offer you advice and you need time by yourself to process it," Nodding at Yeonha's words, her fingers inched tentatively closer to her phone, the Pandora's box waiting to be opened. 

However, just as her hand was about to graze the screen, she stilled with a sharp inhale. "What about Haechan? I was so rude to him and I feel so bad. I was hoping that it really was a mistake because he's so young. I feel so gross knowing that I hurt his feelings and he isn't even legal yet," Digits curled around her device, clutching it like a lifeline as she prepared herself to turn it on.

Yeonha's gaze was piercing, fierce and burning as it seared into her skin and soul, leaving her feeling exposed. "Then do it," was the strict command, the tone jarring yet unbelievably helpful. 

"I didn't leave any details."

Junghwa and Yeonha exchanged a brief glance before Yeonha shook her head. "I left them your number."

Not knowing whether to be grateful or irritated, she settled on the former and exhaled from relief. At least now there was a chance of reconciliation… If he messaged her that was. 

"I doubt he wants to talk to me," Junghwa tutted quietly, plucking her phone from between her fingers and shifting slightly in his place on the bed, trying to become more comfortable and angle himself so she could see the screen. 

 "Don't be like that. Tell your friends and family first and they can help you pick out what you want to do," He handed the now starting up phone back to her.

She couldn't help but admire him. For someone that had barely known her for more than a couple of days, he was willing to try his hardest to help her; Yeonha was truly lucky to have someone like him as her soulmate.

Fidgeting as the lock screen stared back at her, she made eye contact with them both, her skin feeling taunt and sticky from the remnants of her tears. "What do you think I should do?"

It was sheer desperation that led her to ask this, her mind completely overwhelmed with multitudes of other things. She was even supposed to go home in a day too. There was no time to be dawdling over things like this and yet that was exactly what she was doing. 

"I think you should stay for a while longer. Maybe a few weeks or so since your visa is 90 days," The idea of an extended stay hadn't crossed her mind at all.

Junghwa nodded, adding onto that idea. "Ring in your work and tell them about your situation. The law here requires that they gives you a week after meeting your soulmate if it's an exceptional circumstance, I don't know if it's the same for your home country but you can try."

Well she did think finding her soulmate after thinking she was going to die was an exceptional circumstance, so it couldn't hurt to at least try. 

"Okay," She said. 

Yeonha smiled reassuringly, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek despite the salt that inevitably ended up coating her lips. "I have to go now, will you be alright?" 

"Yeah," there was no point in stalling, "drop off Junghwa too, okay?" 

"Will do," They both got up from the bed, giving her a quick hug each before leaving with soft mutters of 'goodbye' and promises to see her soon.

The hotel door closed behind them and now the true extent of her loneliness caught up to her. Anxiety that had once been ignored because she had support now bubbled to the surface, her insides churning as she watched her phone screen turn off from inactivity. 

Haechan truly didn't deserve the shit she had given to him. Perhaps that was the thought that had pushed her into finally grabbing her phone and going on to messages.

Not even bothering to read through the message her friend had sent, knowing they would be (rightfully) angry. 

34 missed calls from Loml.

Loml: Hello?!

Loml: (y/n) what the fuck

Loml: PICK UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE

Loml: WHY IS YOUR PHONE OFF

Loml: I'm going to cry

Loml: GET ONLINE

Loml: What's happening to you

Loml: please come online i won't be mad

Loml: please

MC: I'm sorry

MC: I shouldn't have worried you

MC: I'm okay now

Unexpectedly, the messages gained two blue ticks, the status of her friend changing quickly to online and typing. Judging from the speed in which they came online, they must have been waiting for her. 

Loml: Pick up your fucking phone now

MC: Ok

It rang twice, her heart threatening to beat straight out of her sternum before she finally mustered the courage to slide the green button across the screen, the pregnant silence making her hackles rise. 

" _Hello?"_

" _Hi._ "

" _What the hell is wrong with you?! Why would you say something like that and just fucking leave? You scared me. You're in a foreign country where I can't get a hold of you. Your parents rang me too in a panic, asking me if I knew what happened to you,_ " Their worry manifested in a grilling, their words bitter yet also painfully honest. They weren't her best friend for nothing.

Her hands were slippery with sweat, wiping them on the sheets as she tucked herself into the sheets, whole body covered with goosebumps. 

" _I'm s-sorry_ ," Cursing herself for letting her voice break, she appreciated the fact that they had quietened down, waiting for her explanation. " _My soulmate link, it was the same one as Haechan's_."

" _What? Are you serious?_ "

Unfortunately yes. " _When we high fived at that event it triggered it. Within 6 days I was going to die and I was so close to the last day when SM released a statement about Haechan. I sent you all those texts before I knew that my heart wasn't going to stop._ "

" _You're really Haechan's soulmate?" It wasn't really their fault that they were so hung up on that fact but she couldn't help but be a little irked._  

" _I'm not lying to you,_ " She gulped, " _but I did something stupid. I met him and we touched again, but I ran away before I could let him speak. I was so scared and you know how much I hate change. He's a fucking idol while I'm some foreign bitch who happened to make half a second of contact with him_."

They were quiet on the other end of the line, thousands of miles away. " _That was stupid,_ " They said finally and she couldn't help but laugh, the sound weightless and endlessly freeing. 

" _I know._ "

" _What will you do_?"

" _That's what I wanted to ask you. Yeonha suggested I extend my stay but I don't know if that's right. She gave him my number behind my back so he does have it_."

" _Extending your stay would probably be the smartest thing to do. Maybe even by like a week or something until you can sort this out. Don't sit on this because in the end, he's your soulmate regardless of what's happened. I want the best for you and the best thing is to talk to him and get over what happened. I obviously don't know him personally but he's still a person at the end of the day, just with some recognition to his name. Your boss is nice and he'll understand _."__

God, she didn't know what she had done in her past lives to earn such a beautiful and knowledgeable friend. They knew exactly what to say and how to pull her out of the grave she was digging herself into. 

In the end they really were just people and she wouldn't know if it would work unless she made an active effort to find out. No one should have to go about their lives wondering why their soulmate had outright rejected them. 

" _Yeah, you're right. Thank you,_ " They hummed, yawning into the microphone, " _you should go to sleep._ "

" _I should, only after you tell me that you'll do your best to talk to him again_."

" _I promise, now go to sleep. And I'm sorry for worrying you_ ," They could never remain angry at her for too long, their voice smoothing into that usual teasing tone they always adopted. 

" _You should be, I'll tell your parents you're okay. Bye, baby."_

" _Sweet dreams_ ," The phone call ended and the light from her screen illuminated her face, forcing her eyes to stay open as it burnt past her eyelids, remnants of it's shadow seared into them.

Covers comforting yet somehow simultaneously suffocating, her leg dangerously off the edge of the bed as she stared up at the ceiling. Once endless thoughts were now tranquil, her head empty with nothing more than the worry of contacting Haechan in her mind. 

That couldn't be too hard. She could just head over to the building tomorrow and ask for him; they couldn't deny her considering their circumstances.

Eyes heavy, they slowly began to flutter closed, exhaustion from the day slowing down her motor functions and lulling her towards a dreamless sleep. 

Finally she did not have that crippling weight on her chest as she fell into slumber.

* * *

 

When she woke up again it, unfortunately, wasn't of her own accord, but because of her phone going off, the notifications loud and aggravating. 

Unknown: Hi

Unknown: This is Haechan

Unknown: Your friend gave me your number

Unknown: I hope we can talk soon

Within that split second, she had woken up completely, the drowsiness that had plagued her dissipating within mere seconds as her hand shot out to grab her mobile. It was sent a long while ago and she prayed that he would see her reply. 

MC: Hey

MC: Yeonha gave my number to you, right?

She wasn't really expecting a response to come too rapidly, prepared to close her eyes and fall asleep again when she saw him come online. Suddenly the covers were too warm and the room was closing in on her, watching him type with her bottom lip caught roughly between her teeth. 

Hae: She did

Hae: How are you?

It was… Weird, speaking to him like she hadn't seen him almost in tears because of her.

MC: I'm okay

MC: ….

MC: I'm really sorry, Haechan

MC: It was so rude of me to run away like that

MC: And I know it's a stretch to ask you to forgive me

MC: But I wanted to tell you that I regret it a lot and even if I was overwhelmed, that I know it wasn't okay because you were in the same situation as me

MC: I was intimidated by you and I'm not the most confident person there is. That's still not an excuse and I'm so, so sorry. Really, from the bottom of my heart. 

There was a lot of typing and retyping, each second that passed after hitting send seeming like an eternity until finally, _finally_ , he responded. 

Hae: I'm really glad you said that

Hae: I thought I did something wrong and you hated me

Hae: I do forgive you, it's okay don't worry about it

MC: You didn't do a single thing wrong

MC: It was all me being a coward

MC: Thank you

With the shuddering exhale that left her body, one would have thought she was crying, her shoulders sagging from relief as she broke out into the widest grin imaginable, pain twinging on the corner of her lips from the intensity of it. 

Hae: Do you want to start over?

Hae: We can pretend this is our first meeting

MC: I'd like that 

Hae: in that case

Hae: Do you mind if I call you? 

MC: No

Within a few seconds, her phone was alight again and she took a moment to collect herself, mentally preparing herself before swiping the green button across the screen. There was a little crackling and the sound of breathing from the other end, no one speaking until she gulped down her fears and took the first step into oblivion. 

"Hi, I'm (y/n) and I'm really sorry."

Drowning in the silence that came afterwards, it filled her lungs and threatened to choke her if not remedied.

"Hello, 'Really Sorry (y/n)', I'm Haechan but you can call me Donghyuck," Smile undoubtedly clear in his voice, the drowning sensation disappearing. Even if he felt a little hostile, he wasn't making an effort to bring those negative feelings across and she appreciated that.

Now that she wasn't focused on trying to leave as quickly as she could, the anxiety no longer filling every cell in her body, it was easy to fall into the rhythm he'd set. Though, she did know that she would be leaving soon anyways, it would do them both well to keep contact to a minimum after this - she didn't want to meddle where she didn't belong. And she sure as hell didn't belong in the idol world. 

But then she realised something.

"Donghyuck? Isn't your name Haechan?" More than a little confused, she cursed herself for not paying more attention to Yeonha whenever she rambled about the group. Back then it seemed like a good idea to zone out and nod at appropriate times but now she only felt like a fool. 

He laughed. The sound was soothing and relaxing, still retaining youth and childishness. 

"No, Haechan is my stage name," There was a split second of silence, "Do you know NCT?"

In all honesty, she didn't know them as much as she should considering that her soulmate was literally a member, but she didn't want to lie to him. Thus resulting in her soft 'I do know of NCT but not a lot about them.'

She supposed it was better than a no but even so, it was still a little embarrassing to admit. 

"Oh, do you know of any other groups?" He sounded genuinely curious so she did her best to answer.

"I don't really keep up with anyone, but I really like Monsta X. What about you?" The way the topic was going was a little off track, yet it still made good conversation. 

"I like lots of groups, but Exo and ShinEE-sunbaenim are my most favourite," It sounded like he was moving, the sounds of sheets rustling reminding her of how late it was; 1:32am. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah, of course."

"How old are you? You seem older than me and Doyoung-hyung thought so too," Finding his curiosity cute, she was more than happy to humour his question.

"I'm 21 in international age. I don't know my korean one, sorry," He wasn't the least bit bothered, his melodic humming flowing through the speakers. "You're 18?"

"Mhm," Donghyuck breathed, "So you are my Noona, Hyung was right." 

"You don't have to call me Noona," It felt a little awkward to hear him say that hence giving him the choice, even if she doubted he would take it. 

"No it's only respectful, I want to call you Noona," This time it was her smile that could be detected in her voice, the moonlight that leaked in suddenly not seeming so decrepit anymore. 

"You're cute.

"Thank you."

Then it was silent, only the sound of their breathing coming through. "Do you feel okay? I know the link wasn't the easiest thing to work with and your job is demanding, how are you?"

She, herself, had obviously struggled, with the random bursts of pain and the intense bouts of dizziness, she could only imagine how it felt for him being an idol with a much more intense lifestyle than her lazing about. 

He huffed, the sound not meant to be heard by her. When he finally spoke, his voice was quieter, much softer and true. "I really thought I was going to die. I meet so many people a day and finding one person within everyone was too much of a task. The company gave me a few days off but it still didn't do anything. It was only when we touched again that it felt better, so I'm okay now." 

"Oh, I'm happy you're better," Even if she hadn't acted like it, there had been relief bubbling under her skin when life returned to her and she was able to visibly see him become rejuvenated. 

Again the silence crept up on them, her fingers picking at the skin around her nails.

"Meet me," He spoke, startling her, "please," Donghyuck added as an afterthought, thinking her lack of response was due to his impoliteness. "Noona, please meet me."

Millions of ways to reject him began to come to the forefront of her mind, her thoughts reeling at the sudden proposal and how to let him down easily. She was leaving in a day, there was no use in trying to create anything when they would inevitably lose contact. 

"Hae-Donghyuck I have to catch a flight."

"Today?"

"Tomorrow."

"Then please, spend the day with me," Desperation was palpable in his words, the need to spend time with his soulmate making him nearly whine. "Meet me today, we can go somewhere private or stay at the dorm."

"I-i don't know…"

"Please, no one else will be here apart from some of the dream members. All the Hyung's will be out for promotions."

Thinking it over, she decided that it wouldn't hurt to do this much for him. Even if she was trying her hardest to distance herself, her humane nature meant that she couldn't intentionally cause him anymore harm.

However there was one thing she was dreading, the scowl and glare that had been directed towards her still hauntingly clear in her memory. "Will Doyoung-ssi be there?"

"No, he'll be out too."

That was good enough. "Okay, I can come meet you then."

"Thank you! You won't regret it, I promise!" She doubted she could ever regret it even when her conscious was screaming at her to cancel and ignore him. The sheer joy expressed was easily enough to convince her that she'd done the right thing. 

"Donghyuck, you should go to sleep now. It's late,``he gasped as though he had only just realised what time it was.

"I will, sleep well Noona."

"You too."

The ending tone played in her ear and she sighed, closing her eyes and falling back into her bed. 

Now all she had to do was get through the rest of today.

* * *

 

Chewing on her bottom lip, she tapped her nails on her phone screen, anxiously awaiting a reply from Yeonha after telling her what her plans were for today. 

Of course she was considering staying for a while longer, especially with Yeonha generously offering her accommodation despite living in the human equivalent of a shoe box. However she also thought about how much easier their lives would be if neither of them interfered with the other. She could go back home and live the rest of her life while Donghyuck was free to pursue his career. 

It seemed like a win win situation but there was still something within her heart nagging at her.

MC: I'm going to meet him today

MC: He asked me to come over to the dorm

MC: I'm sorry I can't spend today with you and Junghwa

MC: Maybe I can come over later?

Finally, after what felt like a century but was only around two minutes, Yeonha replied.

Yeonie: !!! I'm glad you're doing this

Yeonie: don't feel bad

Yeonie: you can always hang out with us later

Yeonie: yh come over after ^^ 

Yeonie: get me a signed album ~

MC: aksnwksjs

MC: Sure 

Yeonie: Love you

Yeonie: Talk to him yeah?

MC: I will

MC: Bye

Yeonie: 🤝👋🏼

Getting up from the bed, she decided that she would go and do a little shopping. She didn't want to show up empty handed, plus it would give her time to clear her thoughts. 

The streets of Seoul today were calmer, probably because it was a week day and most people were already at work, behind their desks or their counters earning their living. The world seemed so vast yet so mundane now that she took the time to look around, no longer rushed her slowing heart. 

Walking into the many different convenience shops, she wandered around the aisles, finding it strangely therapeutic to look through the place and just buy whatever she thought he would like. Being the person she was, she had googled him in an effort to find out if he had any allergies and his favourite foods, resulting in finding videos of him eating random snacks and her finding them and putting them into a basket to buy. 

Colourful packets of junk food filled every area, bringing a smile to her face. He had said that some of the dream members would be there. Even based on her limited knowledge, she knew enough about NCT to know they were the younger member unit. 

Only finishing when the basket was full and she couldn't possibly fit anything else in, she walked up to the counter, smiling at the cashier there.

He was a slightly older man, probably around 30 or so judging from his facial features, his smile lines visible and a jolly aura surrounding him. As he scanned the items, he chuckled to himself and she found it abundantly clear why he had such prominent smile lines. 

"Are you having a party?" Speaking more to himself than to her.

"Ah, no. I'm going over to my soulmate's house," His expression was priceless, eyes wide as he realised she had both understood and replied to him. 

Expression changing from one of shock to wonder, he hummed. "You found your soulmate? They're korean?"

"Yes. I found them yesterday and I'm nervous, do you have any tips?" He snuck a glance down at the ring on his left finger, she only just noticed that he was promised to someone - so preoccupied with her own thoughts that she had hardly noticed. 

"Just be yourself. You seem like a nice girl, you're polite too. You're soulmates so don't think too hard about it, what will be right for you will happen," Even if she hadn't been expecting a life lesson to be taught to her during a snack run, she appreciated it greatly. 

"Thank you, I'll keep that in mind."

"You're welcome," Finally scanning the last product, he looked back up at her, "that'll be ₩15,000."

Quickly bagging up the items and paying, she left with her spirits and confidence significantly improved. All she needed to do now was actually go over. 

MC: Where shall I meet you?

Hae: Is it okay if someone picks u up?

MC: As in a car?

MC: Sorry I'm not too comfortable with getting into a car without anyone I know

Hae: That's fine ^^

Hae: What about someone walking you to the dorm?

Hae: I can't go out myself because of security;;; sorry

MC: It's alright

MC: And sure

MC: I can do that

MC: Can you ask them to tell me a password when they meet me?

Hae: What's the password?

MC: Uh maybe _Heartmate_

Hae: Done!

Hae: Let me tell them, where are u?

MC: Near a uhhh

Glancing at the area around her, she noticed a rather large starbucks with a library right beside it. 

MC: *image attached*

MC: Here

Hae: Ohhh that's not that far

Hae: Can you wait in the library? The security will be there in a little bit

MC: Yeah sure

Hae: I'll see you in a bit Noona 🤑

Hae: Fighting!!!!

MC: Fighting!

Walking into the library was easy enough to do and no one even spared a blink in her direction. It was empty but that was probably to be expected for what time it was: 11:14 am.

Bags rustling at her side, she settled down at one of the tables near the middle, happy to just look around and admire the scenery. It was a tranquil place, with soft white accents and a pale blue colour scheme that complimented the winding black bookshelves. 

For once there was nothing on her mind, the smell of old paper and new books comforting, the roads still visible through the glass but it was much less intimidating.

She didn't bother to get up and look for a book, instead basking in the peace and quiet that was offered, giving the occasional smile to the librarians that looked her way. Instead, with her cheek pressed into her palm, she closed her eyes.

It wasn't her intention to fall asleep so she didn't, her mind still conscious and aware of her surroundings, listening to the hustle and bustle while also waiting for the bell above the door to ring. 

And finally, after what felt like an eternity, the bell rang and her eyes opened (only marginally so in case it wasn't who she was expecting.)

It was a tall, handsome man. His hair jet black and trimmed nearly into an undercut, yet his fringe was glossed back and away from his eyes. Wearing a proper suit and dress shoes, he certainly didn't look like the kind of person to wander into a library at 11 in the morning. 

He certainly looked the part of security, especially with the muscles that bulged against the arms of his attire, though she wasn't going to go up and ask him.

Eyes scouring the area, they finally fell on her figure with the multitudes of bags around her filled with food and drinks. He made eye contact, smiling kindly before walking over. 

"Miss (y/n)? *Heartmate?*" Upon hearing the password, she sighed internally.

"That's me. It's nice to meet you," He bowed politely, also shaking her hand and she caught sight of his soulmate tattoo as he did so, a small but detailed star printed just on the inside of his wrist.

"It's nice to meet you too. I'm here to take you to the dorm," He made a motion as if he was going to take the bags but she was quick to grab them, not wanting to have her hands free because she would have no idea what to do with them. "I can take them for you."

"It's okay, but thank you," Not pushing it any further, he nodded and made a motion for her to begin walking. 

It was silent for the first minute while they walked, her footsteps matching his but the lack of conversation was awkward and she almost wished she had gotten into a car. 

"What's your name?"

Looking a little startled at the sudden sound of her voice, he adjusted his shirt cuff. "My name is Sonwoo, miss."

"Ah, that's a nice name, it suits you. How are you, Sonwoo-ssi?" If she was going to walk with him then she at least wanted a distraction while doing so. He seemed nice enough and a little conversation never hurt anyone. 

"Thank you, I'm doing well. How are you?"

Shrugging, they approached an alley way that she normally would have avoided. "I'm doing good enough. I'm just a little anxious," The squeeze was tight enough that Sonwoo had to walk in front of her to get past but that eventually managed to fit through it, emerging near an area full of high class looking buildings. "Do you know what Haechan is like?"

"He's a nice young man. He's very driven, I don't have the opportunity to speak with him much but he's respectful. I think you both will get along well," Sonwoo said, walking them down through a series of twisting and turning paths before reaching another building that seemed to rise as high as the clouds. "This is the dorm building."

"It's nice," The passing comment melted within the wind as they went past the ground floor and reception, the lady at the reception nodding at them in acknowledgment, "it must be fun living here."

"I think Haechan is more equipped to answer that question," He knocked smoothly on a door, the brown wood creating a hollow sound as it was rapped upon, "but it is a nice place."

From behind the door there was some rustling, her fingers flexing around the handles of the bags as the locks twisted and turned. "Thank you for bringing me here, Sonwoo-ssi."

"It was a pleasure," The exact moment he finished his sentence, the door opened and a boy with slightly messy hair and wide eyes stared back at her. He most certainly was not Donghyuck. "I'll leave you now. If you need anything else, don't hesitate to ask for me." Though it was directed more at the boy peering through the door, Sonwoo made eye contact with her and dipped his head before leaving; the offer open for her too. 

'Fuck's sake, please don't get awkward.' Unable to place a name to his face, she decided that a small 'hello' would suffice. 

"Hi," He opened the door wider, "are you Haechan's soulmate?" 

At her nod, his eyes widened further and he scrambled to open the door, ushering her in with apologies and a gentle air around him. Even while she was taking off her shoes, she could feel his curious stare burning into her skin. 

Her skin prickled, energy rushing along every curve and dip of her body, taking her aback as he bowed.

"I'm Jeno," He took the bags from her hands, lighting up at the mass of junk food that Taeyong would usually glare at them for eating, "you didn't have to bring all this."

"I'm (y/n), and I wanted to. I thought you all would like it," Jeno had one of the most beautiful smiles she had ever had the pleasure of seeing, his eyes turning into crescents and his lips curling upwards. He was reminiscent of a pleased cat. 

"You were right, you brought everything we all like. Thank you," The bags hung off his arms and he scratched the back of his neck, "I think he's in his room. Have a seat and I'll call him out."

Jeno was quick in rushing away, his lanky figure moving fluidly across the floor and disappearing from sight. This meant that she was now alone, sat down on the comfortable couch and looking around at his home. The dorm was obviously well lived in, pictures and awards littering the various shelves and creating a homely atmosphere. 

In one picture that had caught her attention, Donghyuck was posing with Johnny, his body sprawled across the elder's back with a carefree peace sign thrown up. Maybe one day she would have a picture like th-

No. She wouldn't because she would leave and probably try to avoid all contact after this; there was no room for pictures like that. 

The sound of pattering feet reached her ears before the visuals of someone in front of her did. They were wearing shorts just above their thigh, her eyes traveling upwards and then finally resting on their face. 

"You really came," Donghyuck's gasp was soft, his eyes round and he was struggling to bite back his smile, "I thought you wouldn't."

The vulnerability in his words made her gulp, her hands moving to fiddle with her shirt while she stood up. "Do you think that poorly of me?" 

"No!" Hands shot out to grab hers, startling her when his hold tightened, "no. I was just scared you were pranking me." 

The electricity that had been thrumming over her skin seemed to crackle with every second he held her hands, her heart beating wildly in her chest. Donghyuck seemed to feel this too, his gaze falling to where they were joined before making a sound of amazement. 

"I know I said it before, but I wanted to say it in person. I'm really sorry, Donghyuck. I shouldn't have run away like that," She honestly hated how bright his simper was, the curve of his lips enough to illuminate the entire room. Why couldn't he hate her instead? Refuse to speak to her ever again? 

It would make everything else so much easier.

"And I said before that I forgive you. You came now and that's all that matters," Damn, why did he have to look so beautiful too?

His hair was a stunning chestnut colour, perfectly complimenting his tan skin tone and accentuating his features further. There was something about him that was so ethereal that it made her want to look away for fear of offending a higher power. Even while dressed in a simple shirt and shorts, he managed to look a million times more put together than she felt. 

"I want to get to know you!" Normally his enthusiasm would have rubbed off on her, but now it did nothing but increase the pit of anxiety within her. However, she had the courtesy to not make this obvious.

He must have mistook her wondering eyes for anxiety, his thumbs brushing across her knuckles comfortingly. "None of my Hyung's are here. It's just Jeno and Jaemin."

"Oh," She squeezed his hand gently before letting go, "So what would you like to talk about?"

It wouldn't harm anyone to make an effort and the last thing she wanted was to hurt his feelings again. 

She swore she had never seen anyone so happy, his body practically buzzing in place as he gently tugged her along the hallway. The sheer size of the dorm took her breath away, each room was probably double the size of Yeonha's entire flat. 

"I just want to get to know you," Donghyuck spoke, using his free hand that wasn't holding hers to push open his bedroom door. It was clear that he had made an effort to clean it up, yet some clothes still remained on the beds - probably because he hadn't enough time to properly put them away. "I share with Doyoung-hyung, he doesn't like when it when I put his things away because he can't find them."

At the mention of Doyoung, her insides turned to ice. If she could chose to, she would never meet him again. Obviously it was her fault that he disliked her but she would rather not subject herself to the same glare that continued to burn itself into her memory. 

Donghyuck's room was cute, albeit typical for a teenage boy. Posters of Michael Jackson and other artists covered the walls on his side of the room, his sheets a pastel purple colour that suited him well. She didn't bother looking at Doyoung's side.

He sat down, patting the spot beside him as he swung his legs, unable to contain his excitement. 

"Tell me something about yourself, Noona," There wasn't anything particularly interesting to talk about, her mind rushing to think of something. 

"Well, I work as a design engineer for architecture-" He spluttered, looking at her like she was crazy. 

"You don't think that's interesting?! That's one of the coolest things you can be! Whoa!" That wasn't one of the typical reactions she would receive but it was a welcomed one. "Who cares about being an idol, you're an engineer!"

"An idol is definitely more interesting, Donghyuck. I'm behind the scenes while you entertain people by just being yourself, that's admirable and brilliant," All the tension was slowly dissipating, her body no longer taunt like a stretched elastic band, "I can't dance to save my life either, but I like to try. I like reading and I'll eat anything once to try it. What about you?" 

Donghyuck placed a finger playfully on his chin, pretending to be in deep thought before snapping his fingers. "Did you look up anything online?" 

"I looked up your favourite foods to buy snacks but other than that, not really," He took this answer into consideration, shifting so that he was now sitting up on his knees.

"I have a fraternal twin sister, but I like to say that I don't to confuse people. When I auditioned, I was accepted for my singing and not my dancing. Hm, I want to learn english but I don't really like to sit down and study so it's taking a long time," They were all random things that she felt happy to know, they were a piece of him that he felt comfortable enough to share. 

She sat quietly on the bed, taking in every detail that she could while he continued to rattle off anything and everything he can think of while occasionally pausing to give a smile. 

Donghyuck liked to move his hands, each sentence he spoke punctuated with one hand movement or another while his expressions were rather animated also. It was clear that he was an energetic person, filled with zest and enthusiasm for anything and everything. Really, it was admirable and quite baffling at the same time. 

"Have you listened to any of our songs?" She shook her head and he shook his head, tutting playfully before producing his phone from under his pillow. "I know you've listened to Monsta X-sunbaenim but if you ask me, NCT are cooler." Obviously meaning it as a joke, she snorted lightly at his comment, her rebuttal a soft 'you wish.'

"I've heard one. I think it was the one Jungwoo-ssi and um, Yu- Lucas-ssi were in?" He thought for a split second before realising what she meant.

"Oh! Boss! That's one of my favourites too, have you watched the music video?" 

"Yeah, I really liked it," But she wasn't here to talk about them, she was here to get to know Donghyuck and Donghyuck only. "You're in Dream and 127, what's your favourite song you've made?" 

Seeing him light up with the question was worth all the anxiety that prickled under her skin. Passion sparked in his eyes, smile broad and inviting - he never looked more full of youth than now. 

"Candle light and we go up, I liked filming we go up but candlelight is my favourite song," Talking on his phone, he pressed on music and let it play, the starting beats melodious and certainly reflective of the young man he was. 

There was soft tones, his vocals mixing with the background and harmonising. Donghyuck was nothing if not a talented vocalist.

She could hardly breathe, the weight of his smile making the guilt return full force. Suddenly everything that was right was enough wrong, and even if her heart was functioning, her mind was not. 

Why was she even fucking bothering? She was going to go home and never speak to him again, what was the use in getting his hopes up?

Falling silent, she only nodded when she needed to, though still keeping eye contact you at least feign interest. Somehow, even with less than a foot of distance between them, it felt like they were worlds apart. 

Donghyuck was sharp, she couldn't fault him on that, noticing her change in demeanour quickly.

"What's wrong? Are you uncomfortable, would you like to go back to the living room?" 

The concern in his endless brown hues only made her stomach churn more, the sensation of needing to vomit slowly creeping up on her. 

"No I'm just… I'm fine."

He was not convinced. 

"Can I tell you something, Noona?"

"Of course."

A quick beat of silence went past where he did nothing more than look into her eyes, honesty and sincerity staring her in the face. "When we touched hands again, I was disappointed. I felt nothing and it was scary because I had all my hoped based on you being my soulmate," Her face remained neutral, "but then it happened. I felt life come back to me and I knew that you were the one that was supposed to be here, you were my soulmate and that was all that mattered. I don't care that you're not korean or that you're older than me, I care that you're my soulmate and you were the one who suffered and healed with me. I want you to be comfortable with me but you're not and I want to know why so I can fix it. Please tell me what's bothering you, and don't try to sugarcoat it because you think I'm too young to handle it."

"I- I'm uncomfortable with the fact that everything is so uncertain. We're so different and I don't know how it would work, Donghyuck. I really don't. You're not even legal so I don't feel right starting a relationship, never mind the fact you're an idol and I would get torn apart by the media for not being what they expect. I live somewhere else, I came here on a visit, to have fun and experience something new and suddenly I'm dying and I need to find my soulmate. That's ridiculous, for you and me. Wouldn't it be better if I went home and we acted like we never met? You and I would be able to live freely yet…" For the first time during her speech, she made eye contact, unable to decipher the emotions that glared back at her, "I don't want to. I know what I want but I don't and it's so confusing, _fuck._ "

Gaze averting back down to the covers, the purple was suddenly a million times more interesting than his face. 

She wished she could drown out the noise, replace the deafening silence with something that wouldn't leave her teetering on the edge of the precipice. 

And that something was his hand resting on hers, fingers lacing with hers in a bold move that left her speechless. Yeonha had told her that Donghyuck liked to express affection with touch but she hardly thought he would be so audacious. 

"Noona, I can't take away your fear or change anything about either of us so we have to make do with what we're given. We're soulmates for a reason and it doesn't matter that I'm an idol or that you're a foreigner, it's what was chosen and that's all that's to it. If you went home and we never spoke again, it could be good for a couple of years but then what would happen after that? We're going to grow up and probably be alone, and would it be worth it then?" He inhaled deeply, thinking about his next words, "You don't have to be in a relationship with me now, Noona, I'm not bothered about that. What I'm bothered about is my soulmate and if I have her full confidence with us as two people."

For someone so young and inexperienced, he spoke with the wisdom of someone almost twice his age. He was neither sickeningly nice nor horribly pessimist. 

"You don't care? What about the media?"

"I mean this in the most respectful way possibly but, _who gives a fuck_ about the media? They want to blackmail companies for money because they have no moral backbone, as long as we're careful, they'll never find you," Almost laughing at the abruptness of his cursing, she had to acknowledge that he was right. 

In the end, everyone else has nothing to do with them. The media would forget and they would grow older, more mature. Different lifestyles were hard but not impossible to work around. "Yeah," She breathed, "I guess."

His skin was delicate, warm like him. Donghyuck was the cool breeze that soothed you on warm days, the breath of fresh air after being cooped up all day. 

"…Will you leave tomorrow?"

"I'll have to check with my manager. Maybe he'll extend my holiday but I'll use up all my paid off days. I don't mind staying," All things considered, Korea was a beautiful place and she still has some things she wanted to experience.

"Please stay, I want to spend more time with you, plus my friends want to meet you. They're all so jealous that I found my soulmate before them."

"So I'm bragging material?" Donghyuck's laughter was honestly, his grip tightening.

"Yes, that's exactly what you are, Noona."

When he smiled, everything was right with the world even when it felt like it was caving in on her. If Donghyuck could find the positive, why couldn't she?

No one would go out of their way to please her. If fighting herself meant satisfaction then she would fight until her last breath.

* * *

 

Hours had passed by in the blink of an eye with not a single doubt lingering in her mind about what she wanted; it may have been drastically different than 24 hours ago but she was certain that this was final.

"Oh, I should go now, it's getting late and I'm sure your Hyung's are coming back," Donghyuck glared at the clock like it had personally offended him before sighing deeply, stretching his limbs. 

"I can call back Sonwoo-hyung, let me jus-" He halted, her fingers wrapping around his wrist as she shook her head. All she really wanted was to walk by herself. "Oh, okay. Let me walk you to the door, at least."

She followed his lead, her hand falling from his, "you're quite the gentlemen."

"I try."

Each step Donghyuck took was slow, trying his hardest to savour the time he had before she disappeared and he wouldn't see her again until god knows when. Nonetheless, not even 'Haechan' himself could prolongue the inevitable, the wooden front door mocking them both.

"I'll see you soon?" It sounded more like a question than she intended it to, resulting in the slight wince on his visage. "I'm glad I met you today, I had fun. Thank you."

"Thank you for coming too, Noona," His arms raised slightly like he was contemplating asking for a hug before ultimately deciding against it - not wanting to push any more boundaries. "Send me a message when you get back safely."

"I will," Stepping out of the dorm was freeing, her form quick to leave the floor while he watched until he couldn't see anything more, only the lingering scent of her perfume remaining as a testament to her existence.

Donghyuck closed the door with a sigh.

She wasn't really expecting to speak to anyone else, the music in her ears blocking out by outside sound that could have distracted her. Since her focus was just on getting back to her hotel room, she only just managed to avoid crashing into someone. 

" _Oh shit._ Sorry, I wasn't looking," Looking up, cold sweat began to form on her back and her mouth went dry. 

Of-fucking course she just had to bump into goddamn Johnny Suh of all people. 

Half tempted to just run away, her apologetic 'smile' resembled a grimace. 

Johnny was a man larger than life, towering over her with his eyes narrowed, like he was trying to work something out before finally spitting out what had been on his mind. " _Are you Haechan's soulmate?_ "

" _I- uh… Yeah."_

He sighed, shoulders slouching before shaking his head a little. " _What you did really upset him, you know? Honestly, I was a little annoyed you did that but you obviously have your reasons, right?_ " Johnny raised his eyebrows, making her feel a million times smaller, " _You came over today and that's what counts, please make him happy. None of us hold a grudge against you and you're always welcome to come back. We're happy for you, really."_

Shuffling on the spot, she managed a more sincere smile. They didn't hate her and that was all she could ask for.

" _Thank you, Johnny. That means a lot. I'll try my hardest to be a good soulmate to him,"_ Johnny nodded _, "I should go now. Have a good day."_

" _You too,_ " Finally she could leave, almost running away and out of the area in case she met another idol by accident.

In more ways than one this meeting has rent beneficial. It solidified some ideas and dismantled others, however the most important thing was that she finally understood.

She understood the universe wasn't out to get her; it never had been. Instead, it was bringing together two souls who were destined to be.


	7. To

As soon as the door closed behind him, he launched himself into the couch, phone pulled out from the pocket of his shorts. 

Everything had gone well and he felt a million times better; the rain cloud that had been looming over him was now nothing more that a few gentle soothing beats of rain that would soon clear up. 

While it had been a little awkward at first, Donghyuck was pleased that that had met again and cleared up everything they could - while also revealing some other things they were concerned about. He was aware that it wouldn't all be linear, but it was a start.

Hyuck: !!! 

Hyuck: I hope we can meet again Noona

Hyuck: Get home safe

Hyuck: Please tell me if you can stay or if you're going home

As much as he wanted for her to stay in Korea, even if for a few days longer, he was well aware that he wasn't the only part of her life. He would be asking for too much if he begged her to stay, knowing that he wouldn't be able to extend the same courtesy.

While he was busy texting, the door slammed open and his heart jumped straight into his throat, fear rushing through every cell before the sound of his band mates came through - with it came one of his signature glares and an unimpressed looks. 

"I don't think the door came off yet, you should open it a bit harder," He snarked while Jungwoo stuck his tongue out at him, clearly not the least bit bothered that he had nearly scared the poor boy to death. 

"I'll use you as the battering ram next time," Rolling his eyes, Jungwoo was shoved aside by the other members barrelling in, a flurry of coat and shoes being removed. 

He got off of the sofa, scouring the crowd for his target and finally landing his wicked sights on his victim: Dong Sicheng.

"Winwin-hyung!" The man looked up as his name was called, looking around for Donghyuck innocently when he was savagely attacked, arms wrapping around his neck and body planting itself on his back. Had he not been as nimble and agile as he was, both of them would have kissed the floor. "I missed you."

"Really?" Sicheng shook his head, steadying himself by reaching out a hand and putting it on the wall, carrying both his own weight and Donghyuck's. "Can't you miss me somewhere else?"

"You're all so rude, aren't you meant to be kind to your dongsaeng?" Multiple barks of laughter came from the others as they jabbed at him, rolling their eyes as he pouted, still clinging on to Sicheng like a koala. 

Dongyoung was the one who gave a rough poke to his back, followed by a deceivingly angelic grin. "We're only kind to our favourite dongsaengs. Last time I checked, you weren't Jeno."

A chorus of 'ooo' and 'you gonna take that?' came from the group of men, even Sicheng laughing from under him (an action Donghyuck curbed by tightening his arms around his neck). "Last time I checked, I didn't ask for your opinion," That one earned a slap to his back as well as more jeers, though now directed at Dongyoung. 

Sicheng walked to the sofa, dropping Donghyuck off on the cushions before sitting at his side. The other spaces were quickly occupied by Doyoung, Yuta and Taeyong. The other members (excluding Mark and Jaehyun who had rushed off to their rooms) sat on the area surrounding it and the TV. 

"Your soulmate just left, didn't she?" Taeyong asked, burying himself further into the cushions and Yuta's side. Donghyuck wasn't surprised that he had asked, knowing that Taeyong was the one that had begged the manager to schedule promotions for the morning to allow for the dorm to be free.

Multiple heads turned to him and, once again, he was the centre of attention. 

"Yeah, she left just a few minutes before you came actually," Humming at this information, Taeyong grabbed a cushion and wrapped his arms around it, chin digging into the top of it as he stared at Donghyuck.

"How was she?" Taeyong asked again eagerly.

"She's really nice. She apologised a lot and we talked," His answers were brief, but they were kind enough not to comment on it. He was thankful for that really, not wanting to spill all the details of his meeting.

It was quiet for a few months, his head resting on Sicheng's shoulder as the elder began to look through his personal weibo. Shame; he wanted to snoop as well.

"Was her korean good?" Taeil was the one who spoke up now, not even bothering to look away from the TV that had been turned on.

"It was really good. I think she's studied it but I didn't answer. She didn't really switch to english at all," Dongyoung nodded, remembering their first meeting and how she had seemed practically fluent. 

"You've figured everything out?" Dongyoung inquired, placing a hand on his thigh and squeezing gently. "You both know what you're doing?"

At this he shrugged. Since when had he ever known what the hell he was doing? It was a surprise he had even survived 18 years by himself.   

"I guess? We did talk about some things like what we were worried about," Thankfully, no one made any undermining comments and instead made noises that indicated being impressed. "Noona has a flight back home tomorrow though, I don't know if we're going to meet again."

Sicheng looked up from his phone, brows furrowed and mouth opening to speak - only to be beaten to the punch by an indignant Yuta.

"Already? We haven't even met her yet."

"Why would she want to meet you?" Yuta pulled a face, preparing to get up and put him into a headlock when Johnny dismissed him with a wave of his large hand. 

"I met her. She was leaving and I'd just walked in. I didn't recognise her until I remembered you said she was foreign," Attention now redirected to the gentle giant, everyone stared at him, "She was in a hurry to leave but she was polite. Said she wanted to be a good soulmate for Hyuck and left after telling me to have a good day."

He could only imagine the panic she must have felt to crash into another idol, let alone one of his eldest hyungs. He was just glad that it wasn't Dongyoung she had bumped into. 

They mumbled amongst each other, not really addressing him until Jungwoo caught his eye, bottom lip caught between his teeth before he finally blurted out the question on the tip of his tongue. Donghyuck half wished he had kept his mouth shut. "Do you like her?" 

"I do."

"Are you together?" Asked someone else and he stiffened, shrugging with a blank expression whilst shifting his sight back over to Sicheng's phone and the chinese characters on it - never mind the fact he didn't understand a single thing.

"No. Noona doesn't want to be together because of our age gap, since I'm not legal and she's 21. She said it made her feel weird and would rather keep it as friendship."

"21? That's not much older than you, you're 20 soon," Johnny said, only to be stopped by a shake of Donghyuck's head. 

"21 internationally," Johnny shut his mouth immediately while the others grimaced, now understanding her reasoning. 

Dongyoung shrugged, "she has morals. I like that she came and apologised, I really would like to meet her properly." Donghyuck stared at him for a solid few seconds before snorting, further nuzzling his head into Sicheng's shoulder. 

"Noona specifically asked if you were out and then agreed to come over, I don't think it's the same on her side," Sniggers surrounded him and Dongyoung pouted, covering his face with his arms while muttering that he 'wasn't that bad' and he was 'only stressed'.

"I like her already," Taeyong laughed while Dongyoung attempted to kick him, only just managing to dodge it by using the pillow as a shield. 

Laughing at the 'oi' and giggles that came from Taeyong, Donghyuck noticed that everything felt right with the world. 

* * *

 

The hours ticked by, no one saying another word while the TV was turned on and playing something random. Donghyuck's attention was more on trying to decipher the Chinese on Sicheng's phone than the telly. Unable to resist the urge, he began to cup his face, looking at his cheeks and generally testing the man's patience.

Finally after a few minutes, Donghyuck has reached the limit. "Move please, I'm hungry," Sicheng said, staring at him from the corners of his eyes, visibly annoyed by the pinching on his cheek but not commenting. 

"Hm… I don't know," Donghyuck teased, Sicheng shoved at his leg and managed to break free, nearly stumbling with how quickly he was running away. 

No one seemed to notice apart from Jungwoo who gave him a thumbs up. He yawned, stretching and getting up to head to his room - content on just sitting on his bed for a while and scrolling on his phone. 

Barely anyone spared him a glance as he walked to his room, the door shutting behind him with a soft click as he bounced on the mattress with how hard he'd jumped on it. Settling underneath the covers with the duvet pulled up to his chin and head buried in his pillow, he pulled out his phone and checked his messages.

MC: I'm back

Hyuck: What r u doing?

MC: Sat on my bed

MC: I'm texting my boss right now.

MC: What about you?

Hyuck: Sat on my bed too

Hyuck: I might sleep

MC: You should

MC: You're growing, you need the rest

Hyuck: ;;;; u talk like ur ten years older than me

MC: Maybe I am

So engrossed with the conversation he was having, a huge simper plastered across his face, Donghyuck barely noticed the room door open and someone walk inside.

Dongyoung spotted him smiling broadly to himself from under the covers and changed his course from his own bed to his dongsaeng's. Donghyuck paused only for a moment to acknowledge him and move aside, allowing him room to climb in too. Despite the slight squeeze, they made it work.  

"Are you talking with her now?" Nodding, he showed his screen and let him read the messages. 

Hyuck: ^^

Hyuck: Are u planning on doing anything?

MC: I'm going to go over to meet my friends in a bit

MC: But first I really need my boss to reply

"Why? Is her boss in control of her flight?" Shaking his head, he typed a reply. 

"She's asking her boss if she can take some more days off work. Her flight is tomorrow and I really hope she can stay," Eyes going over the messages, Dongyoung also shared that wish.

Though he would rather eat his own toes than admit it out loud, he was a little ashamed for how brazenly he had acted towards someone who was only scared and behaving in a manner correlating to that. 

Pride was a deadly poison that he often succumbed to only to them lay awake thinking about. He supposed it was his conscience that liked to fuck with him and make him feel bad, even when it rang no alarms while he was commiting the sin. 

"Are you hurt?" Donghyuck's flying fingers stilled, his head turning to regard him with a look of confusion. "By her not wanting to be in a relationship with you."

Not really sure of why he had brought that topic up, all Dongyoung knew was that he was curious. He really did think it was sensible and moral how she rejected a relationship because of his age, but it was probably hard to understand that reasoning as the younger one.

"Yeah, I am."

"Do you understand why she said no?" Slowly, Donghyuck shook his head, phone laying face down on his chest. 

"I'm not a little baby and I don't like it when I'm treated like one," He said, finally getting rid of what had been plaguing him since her rejection. 

Dongyoung hummed, gently patting his arm and rubbing it in a soothing gesture. "I know it seems like that to you, Hyuck, but it really isn't that straight forward. You're not an idiot and you are mature, even so, you're still underage and she's been legal for quite a while now. It would make anyone feel iffy."

Shrugging in a manner that suggested irritation, he pouted and looked towards the ceiling. "But I'm 18 internationally. I'm legal everywhere else. I'm probably legal where she's from."

"Does that matter?" Dongyoung asked rhetorically, holding back his sigh at the logic presented to him, "you're korean and you live in Korea. You're not legal until the law says so here, regardless of other countries. The fact that she respects that is something you should be grateful for, Hyuck. You'll have the relationship that's right for you when it's right for you, and right now that relationship is friendship."

Even if that lecture wasn't something he wanted to hear, Donghyuck knew in his heart of hearts that it was true and that he was only dismantling his own point by acting like a child.

Grunting out a soft 'oh', he found a way to distract himself by grabbing his vibrating phone. "She texted!"

MC: 😔

MC: The way he's so rude I'm-

Hyuck: ???

Hyuck: What's happened?

MC: Look

MC: 

MC: Would you like me to translate?

"That's a very relaxed way to talk to your boss," Dongyoung commented, more amused than anything. He found the 'bruh' to be especially funny.

Hyuck: I'm okay

Hyuck: He wants an autograph from ShinEE-sunbaenim?

MC: I don't know how the hell he expects me to get one

MC: I'm going to leave tomorrow then

Hyuck: Wait!

Hyuck: I'm in SM too

Hyuck: I can get one for you

MC: ….

MC: I don't want to burden you

Hyuck: No! If all you need is an autograph to stay then I'll happily do it 

MC: :((

MC: You're so precious

MC: Thank you so much

Hyuck: ^^^

"So she can stay if she has an autograph." Dongyoung asked, reading the messages. Their interactions were cute, especially the way they balanced each other out. "That's a bit of an odd request but if that's what her boss wants."

MC: Hey

MC: Would you like to call? 

MC: Sksjsj I know I told you to sleep and all but 

Hyuck: Noona….

MC: It's okay if not

Hyuck: You don't even need to ask.

The phone rang for approximately half a second before being accepted, Dongyoung laughing a little at how eager he was. He didn't bother to go back to his own bed, instead burying himself deeper into the warmth of bed and closing his eyes - though still alert and wide awake. If Donghyuck had a problem with that then he would have to voice it.

"Hey," She spoke and Dongyoung noted that she sounded a lot more relaxed, her voice smoother and a lot less jittery than when he'd last heard it. "What are you doing now?"

"I'm just in my bed," Dongyoung ignored the side eye he received. "How about you, Noona?"

"I'm getting ready to go to my friend's house."

"So late?" He asked only to earn a soft laugh in response. 

"Yeah, I may as well. I need to leave the hotel tomorrow anyway, so I'm just taking my things now," Dongyoung cracked open an eye, peering closely at his face, "I watched some videos about NCT."

Now both of his eyes opened - call it his pride rearing its head again. Sue him for wanting to know her opinion on them (and by definition, him as well.)

"Really? What did you watch?" 

There was shuffling, the sounds of zips and things being lugged coming faintly through the speakers. "I watched all the music videos I could find and tried to learn more of the members. I think I have around half of you all down. Including the rookies."

Dongyoung nodded, impressed with her dedication. He hadn't expected that level of commitment so quickly. Donghyuck seemed to share that sentiment, a 'whoa' making its way to her ears. 

"Wow, what are their names?"

"You want to test me? It's Xiaojun, Hendery and Yangyang?"

"You passed! Yangyang is a 00 liner like me, we've talked a few times," The conversation diverted to the new members with Dongyoung having to smack him discreetly a few times to prevent him from spoiling anything. It was surprising how loose lipped he was while speaking with her. "What do you think about us?"

"I think you're all great and you're all so talented," She went quiet soon after, almost like she was contemplating something, "can I say something? It's not about you but something on my mind."

At this, the elder shoved himself onto his elbow and practically fell over with his eagerness to listen. Donghyuck stared at him ludicrously before replying positively, urging her to go ahead. 

" _Fuck SM_ ," The sheer randomness of the curse and the topic made Dongyoung snort as he was unable to stop himself in time, resulting in him being glared at - the evil eye burning into his skin. "They're so unorganised. Why can't they give fair lines and screen time? You're all brilliant singers and deserve more than no lines. I didn't even know what Winwin-ssi sounded like until I searched for a video of him afterwards," Her rant was entertaining, both men agreeing wholeheartedly with everything she was saying. 

Her passion was clear, concise and it was respectable for that alone.

Mirth making it way into his voice, Donghyuck giggled into the microphone. "I guess you really did spend time getting up to date. I'm legally bound to silence."

" _Come on baby, I know the law,_ " Though the english passed him by quickly, Dongyoung caught it and stifled his laughter with the pillow, face planting into it to avoid being heard. 

"You should fight them," Donghyuck suggested, avoiding the tenth slap to his arm that evening.

"Maybe I will. They don't stand a chance," The conversation carried on for a little while more as she packed and got ready to leave. Talking about everything and nothing all at once, Dongyoung found himself falling asleep to the voices of the maknae and his soulmate.

Only when she told him to sleep and rest, did he finally end the call. It was a nice way to end the day that brightened his life further. God, he was so glad that he had managed to persuade her to come. Once talking, it was abundantly clear why they were fated for the other.

Just as he was about to put his phone away, he received a text message.

MC: Sleep well okay

Hyuck: I will

Hyuck: Also… noona?

Hyuck: Can I ask for a favour?

MC: depends on what it is

Hyuck: Come over tomorrow?

Hyuck: For a little bit ? Please?

Hyuck: We can get the autograph too

MC: I'll see

MC: No promises

Hyuck: :( but :) 

Hyuck: Talk tomorrow, tell me if you change ur mind

MC: Yeah

MC: Sleep tight

Hyuck: You too

And like that, he was out like a light. 

* * *

 

Donghyuck was bored, the setting around him so foreign yet so familiar. Different people passed him by, some giving him strange looks for sitting out and others barely even sprained him a glance. He was waiting, waiting for something and it was achingly obvious that his patience was wearing thin. 

The edges of his vision was fuzzy, visages blurred as he tried to focus on someone, anyone. Instead, all he received was streaking colours and the inability to remember. 

Music played, sounds and notes that should have been soothing were now grating on his soul and agitating him. How much longer did he have to be there when he longed to walk away, to leave the suffocation of the ceremony he was being forced to attend?

His eyes closed, the lull of the sounds around luring him to sleep, his heart heavy and throat dry. If he slept now, maybe he would never get up again. 

The thought was tempting, eyes slowly drooping. Just as the sweet kiss of sleep was about to touch his lips, he was jarred awake by a loud bang. 

Bells.

Getting up, he tried his hardest to avoid the multiple stares burning into his skin. He hates how his jewellery glittered, shining golden under the gas lights. Royalty was his essence; ice blue pumped through his veins and colouring his vision a deep azure. 

Priceless jewels and precious metals adorned his body, yet he felt like the poorest wretch. What was beauty and riches if he didn't have the one thing that had brought him joy? The world was cruel, unfair. 

It was funny, he thought as his chest tightened, how he was the most envied person in the room yet he felt like the most worthless. His worth was nothing, not when he was confined to others wishes and desires. 

Donghyuck was not Donghyuck. He was a vessel in which he only inhabited.

Hundreds of eyes lay on his body, examining every inch of him and judging him. Some stared at him in awe and others regarded him with envy. He wished they wouldn't look at him at all. 

Standing next to his father, he held his head high, the facade too far gone to crumble now. No, all he could do now was act like a puppet. 

Thank god he could still move his eyes without being scolded.

His gaze was steady, slowly moving over the crowds before reaching the one person he wanted to see. Their figure was hazy but he knew it was them, could hear their sweet voice in his mind.

They worked swiftly, arms moving with a quickness he hadn't thought possible. Hiding away from view, they were rushing to clean up and move away. Seen and not heard was the motto they were forced to live by.

His gaze bore into their back and he knew they had to have felt it burning into them, searing into their skin and making their hackles rise. He was correct.

They turned around, eyes connecting with his for a split second. So many different things were conveyed even if there were no words, no tangible contact. Donghyuck would live off crumbs if he had to. 

His stomach churned, bile threatening to rise up his throat as they turned away again, disappearing back into one of the passages designed for them; designed for people who had no business being seen by the likes of the rich and wealthy.

All he knew was that if he could, he would give up his entire life for them. What was the point of living if there was no autonomy? Freedom knew not his name nor theirs. 

* * *

 

When he woke up, it was with a heavy feeling in his chest, like he had lost something of great importance. Donghyuck assumed it was to do with the strange dream he had, everything within it so hauntingly vivid that he felt as though he was reliving it. 

He sighed, looking to his side and noticing that Dongyoung had left the bed, the faintest imprint of his body still on the mattress.

The sounds of floor boards creaking and people talking told him that everyone was already up, moving without bothering to disturb him. Pressing on his phone, the glaringly bright '13:23' on the screen almost made him scream. Paired with her messages asking if he was okay and if they could meet at quarter past one, he was ready to rip out his hair and go bald. 

Practically flying out of bed, he rushed into the bathroom and sent a poor Jaehyun to the curb forcing the man to wait outside. 

"Shit, why didn't anyone wake me up?" He hissed to himself, running a hand through his hair and frowning at his reflection. He hadn't been expecting anyone perfect to stare back at him, but he was more than annoyed that he wasn't looking his best. 

Five minutes was all he needed to freshen up, speeding through his morning routine and slapping on products, cheeks tinged red from the force. 

"Hyuck? Are you done in there?" Jaehyun asked, knocking on the door and sounding desperate for a wee that Donghyuck had inhibited. "Mark said there's someone waiting for you on the ground floor. He said she specifically asked for you."

She was here already?! God, he really needed to get a hold of himself.

"One minute, Hyung," Attempting to brush his hair, he left only half satisfied with his appearance. He didn't even bother saying another word to Jaehyun before he forced his legs into some jeans and a random shirt he had pulled out of the wardrobe. 

Rushing down the stairs of the building, he realised he'd forgotten to wear shoes when he could feel the cool metal underfoot. Though, that right now was something he couldn't have cared any less about. He was such a fool, leaving her hanging like that. 

As he reached the ground floor, he spotted her sitting on one of the chairs, mask pulled down below her chin and gaze set on Mark. Even if he was a little far away and could only hear bits and pieces of their conversation, he recognised that they were speaking in english and that she seemed very comfortable. 

Donghyuck would have been lying if he said he hadn't felt a little pang of jealousy, nonetheless it was overpowered by joy at knowing she was making herself comfortable.

Her eyes sparkled, Mark's own grin stretching broadly over his lips as he spoke easily in his native language. He was probably ecstatic at having someone else to talk to.

Unfortunately for him, Donghyuck was here to interrupt and he did so with gusto. 

"Hey, Noona!" He announced, forcing them to break the conversation as they looked towards the source of the yell. "Sorry for not responding, I heard just now that you were here."

Smile comforting and warm, her 'it's okay' eased his worries. "Mark told me that you were asleep. I probably disturbed you, I would have understood if you told me you couldn't make it."

Directing a deadpan stare to his Hyung, he shook his head frantically. "No, I wanted to see you. I just overslept. Has he been annoying you?"

Mark aimed a hit for his arm, missing his target by the narrowest of margins as he stepped aside. 

"No, he's been keeping me company. I didn't want to walk in on you when you weren't ready," Extremely grateful for the fact that she was so considerate, he was willing to excuse the annoyingly smug look Mark was directing at him. "Are you sure you don't want to carry on sleeping?"

"Yes yes, I'm sure," He said, grabbing her hand and pulling her, sticking his tongue out at Mark while she was getting up. "Do you want to wait in the dorms? I kind of need to change my clothes into something… Better."

Upon a quick glance down, he realised why Mark had been borderline laughing at him. The top he was wearing was a gift that Yuta had given him as a gag, the ahegao face on the pitch black fabric making him want to rip it off. 

"Yeah," She said, doing surprisingly well at keeping a straight face, "I'm fine with that."

God. Could he embarrass himself any more? 

As they ascended up the stairs, he could hear the sounds of bags hitting her thighs. They were full to the brim with snacks and drinks.

"Did you bring over food yesterday too?" Mark asked, glancing down at the junk food. "There was loads of bags yesterday, Kun-hyung gave us all an earful for it."

She laughed, nodding. "That was me, sorry."

"No, don't apologise," Mark replied, "He stopped once he saw his favourite snacks. You just don't need to keep bringing them, you're welcome here anyway."

"Yeah, don't keep spending your money on feeding us. You'll go bankrupt," The comment made her smile, pride bursting in his chest for managing to get such a reaction. "All the 127 Hyungs are here. Some others might be, is that alright?"

Her expression was conflicted, not having known that everyone would there at once. His mouth opened to suggest she go back down to the ground floor while he internally cursed himself for forgetting to mention that. However, he was saved by the charmer, Mark.

"They're all really nice, you have no reason to worry. Ever since we found out that Hyuck had a soulmate, we've all been dying to meet you," It was completely true, having read the multiple messages in the NCT group chat about wanting to meet her. 

She inhaled, steeling her nerves. "Doyoung-ssi is there too?"

"Yes," Mark replied, not really noticing the glance the two shared.

"Mhm," Donghyuck confirmed and he was pleasantly surprised when she swallowed and nodded anyway. 

The door swung open, the trio entering while Mark kicked off his shoes while she did the same, albeit neater than the other boy. Donghyuck spied the other members lingering around the living room and kitchen, his hand squeezing hers before he let go to cup them around his mouth. "Hey everybody! My soulmate, (y/n)-Noona is here!" 

She didn't even have time to be embarrassed by his shout, her mouth only just managing to open when a sound similar to stampeding elephants erupted. The walls shook and the floor vibrated, both Donghyuck and Mark smiling goofily as a dozen faces appeared, blocking up the hallway as they gawked.

"Hi!" There came the loud chorus of greetings, surprising her with the intensity of it. 

"Uh, hey," She responded, glancing over everybody and Donghyuck could tell she was blanking on names, her shaky eyes saying what her mouth didn't. 

However, he didn't need to speak at all since Taeil had caught their flounder and walked forward with his signature smile. "I'm Taeil, it's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too, I'm (y/n)," And that was everyone's que to introduce themselves in an orderly manner (or as orderly you could get with NCT).

The only person that didn't say anything to her was Dongyoung, opting to keep a little distance and give her a polite bow - one she returned before being towed away by Donghyuck. 

Sat on the sofa, she sat in between Donghyuck and Mark, forcing everyone else to scatter. Even if he was used to the dozens of eyes staring at him, she obviously wasn't.

"You're really Hyuck's soulmate?" Ten asked, propping himself up using Yukhei's thigh as she nodded. "God, I'm praying for you." 

The laughter that followed was calming and he was thankful that Ten had cracked a joke, even if it was at his expense. He would get his revenge later. 

"Don't be rude, Ten. Hyuck's not that bad," Taeyong tried to reassure them both, an effort that was greatly appreciated. 

Ten pulled a face, raising his brows and choking back a laugh. "Sure, if that's what you want to tell her."

"Do you know about NCT?" Jungwoo said, completely ignoring the fools around him and instead smiling gently in the welcoming way he was known for. "It must be difficult to try and learn everyone's names."

"I think meeting you all in real life makes it easier, but it is a little difficult. I don't mind though, you guys are really talented and have some great music," Egos were inflated, chests puffing up with pride at her words. Donghyuck would have rolled his eyes if he wasn't trying to make her more comfortable.

"Really?" Yukhei asked, sitting up on his knees and his eyes wide like a puppies as he practically buzzed in his seat, "who is your bias?"

She placed a finger on her chin, making eye contact with most of them before shrugging. "I don't have one yet."

Like a bomb being set of, jeers and roars erupted from the crowd - all of the members opening their mouth to protest and win the spot of ultimate bias. 

'It's just got to be me,' came one comment that was soon followed by yells of disapproval. 'No, she'd bias someone talented, like me,' said another - only prompting a further chorus of objections.

"Uh actually, Noona's bias is me. You Hyung's need to realise that you'll never be as brilliant as I am," Donghyuck's cocky statement was paired with purposefully snooty tilt of his head, expressions of varying emotions staring back at him.

Johnny shared a glance with Ten, his feline gaze landing on him and making his heart stutter. "Oh yeah, how could we ever beat someone wearing an ahegao shirt?" Suddenly he was made painfully aware of the embarrassing shirt he was wearing, practically bolting upwards and running to his room with steam coming out of his ears. 

How the hell did he forget he was still wearing that stupid goddamn shirt? They were never going to let him live that down now.

Only when he had rushed into his room and locked the door, frantically looking through his overflowing wardrobe for some clothes, did he notice that he had left her alone with all his members. He could already feel the shame creeping up on him, knowing they were telling her stories of stupid things he had done. 

Just as he found a simple horizontally striped shirt and slipped it over his chest, his phone buzzed and he flung himself onto the mattress, picking it up in his hands and checking it.

Moon-Hyung: Why don't you two go out somewhere?

Moon-Hyung: They're all going to smother her

Moon-Hyung: I'm making sure you never live the shirt down

Moon-Hyung: Yuta sent that… 

Moon-Hyung: Come back before she turns into dust

Moon-Hyung: Doyoung opened his mouth and she looks like she's fading

Moon-Hyung: Never mind now Mark asked what her favourite unit is and restored the peace

Moon-Hyung: She said NCT U

Moon-Hyung: Keep her

Laughing at Taeil's live texting, he hurried to send his own replies. 

Hyuck: Yes boss!

Hyuck: I'm coming now

Hyuck: And I plan to

Pocket in his phone, he returned to the living room with a more decent choice of attire and leant against the doorway, just watching his family and soulmate interact. 

"What do you do for a living?" Taeyong inquired, genuinely interested. 

"I work as a design engineer for architecture," Pride swelled in his chest as she was showered with compliments, all of them commenting on how smart she must be to have such an occupation. They were just as impressed as he was when he'd first heard of her job. 

For a few more minutes, he watched passively as they interacted and built a stable foundation for friendship. He noticed that she gravitated heavily towards a few of them, namely: Ten, Jungwoo, Mark, Johnny and Taeil. If the entire group had been there, he didn't doubt that she would have liked the newest members too.

"Okay!" Donghyuck interrupted, grabbing her hand, "It was nice of you all to annoy Noona for 15minutes, but we have to go now. See you!"

Pulling her away as goodbyes were exchanged, he locked the front door behind them with a sigh, pretending to wipe away sweat from his face. "My god, did you survive?"

"Well enough, they're all really nice. I can see why you all get along even though there's 18, no, 21 of you," Her slip up made him smile, their steps in sync as he pulled his mask and cap over his face, jacket concealing most of his figure. "I didn't speak to Doyoung-ssi."

Shrugging, he made a noise that suggested that he couldn't have cared less - which he didn't. "You can always talk to him later, Hyung won't disappear."

"Yeah, I'll try to talk to him later. I don't want to be on bad terms with him," The air was cool, fresh on the face and the tongue. For once there was no lingering smog over the city and they could breathe easily. "Where would you like to go?"

He thought about this for a short while. Since he had run out of the dorm without putting much thought into anything past that, he was at a loss for ideas. Eyes dart around the streets, looking for something to do when he spotted a lone, blue token on the floor. 

Donghyuck's smile was childish in its joy but sweet nonetheless. 

"How about the arcade?"

It only further widened at her reply. 

"Sounds great."

* * *

 

"You dance for a living! How do you expect me to win against you on this?" Donghyuck winked cheekily, knowing full well he had every single advantage. 

"Please, Noona? I really want to play this," Bottom lip jutted out into a point, he knew he had her beat when she sighed, begrudgingly moving on to the dance mat. 

The song started up and her eyes narrowed in concentration along with it, mask pulled down to under her chin as her tongue poked out slightly. He had to acknowledge her determination, the drive and fire in her hues was admirable and adorable. 

Donghyuck would have never have expected her to be the competitive type, her drive to win matching his and making everything a hundred times more entertaining. 

Her feet were quick, moving rather fluidly for someone who claimed they couldn't dance. And maybe she couldn't, but you really wouldn't know it judging from her scores on the game. 

Grinning goofily to himself, he stole multiple glances towards her (it didn't matter that he missed a few notes because they both knew he was winning regardless) and couldn't help but think about how pretty she looked. 

People had always told him that his soulmate would be the most beautiful person ever and he had always disregarded it as them being sappy, yet as he concentrated on her figure and the soft furrow of her eyebrows, he understood. 

" _Damn,_ " She hissed, missing a couple of notes in a row as she failed to move her feet quick enough, the song coming to an end and the winner was painfully obvious. Looking at the score and wincing, she held her hands up in defeat. "Okay, Hyuckie, you have me beat. I'll buy us ice cream. What flavour would you like?"

Instead of responding, he only stared at her with doe eyes, completely taken aback by the nickname she'd used. He had been expecting a lot of things, however that was not one of them. The way it rolled off her tongue was addicting, his heart longing to hear it again. 

"Hyuck? Donghyuck? Did you hear me?" She looked at his repeating her words and making his pulse race, palms beginning to sweat as he nodded furiously. 

"Uh, can I have strawberry and chocolate please?" Nodding, she walked off towards the ice cream truck parked nearby and he headed towards the benches, picking one that was secluded and easy to hide in. 

Even though he was sitting quite a distance away from her, he was unable to let his gaze wander; drawn to her like a moth to a flame. It amazed him how quickly she had opened up to him, completely changing from the anxious and jumpy person he'd first met, to the person that laughed and joked with him, routinely stepping out of her comfort zone just so she could spend time with him.

If there was one thing that Donghyuck was, it was lucky. Others might have been annoyed that their soulmate was so different from them, however, Donghyuck couldn't have been more grateful. By having someone completely different to him, it allowed him to broaden his horizons and learn things that he might not have otherwise. 

He could experience so many things with her, see and known so many unknowns. The soulmate bond was truly a force to be reckoned with. Donghyuck would treasure her friendship for as long as she would let him. 

He blinked, the cool breeze now directly in his face as he coughed lightly, seeing that she was returning with two cones in her hands. 

"Here you are," Accepting the treat with a soft 'thank you', the creamy flavour melted across his tongue and he hummed. The ones she had chosen seemed to be both mint and vanilla. Not uncommon but not something he would order for himself.

A comforting silence fell over them both, the only sound being that of distant traffic and leaves rustling because of the wind. Nonetheless, there was one thing that was making him itch. 

"Noona, I am your bias, right?" Tongue stopping midway through a lick, she looked at him and realised he was deadly serious. The randomness of his question paired with his completely blank expression made her snort. 

"You're still hung up on that, Haechannie?" He glowered at the use of his stage name, only forgiving it since he knew it was a joke. "Yes you are, but I think Jungwoo-ssi might take that spot from you."

"No he won't!" His reply was punctuated with a pout and a hand pressed to his head as he pretended to faint. Ice cream smeared on his lips as his large, rounded eyes bore into her soul. Unfortunately for him, she refused to budge. "Noona~"

Her phone vibrated and she shrugged, a playful simper on her maws. "Oh, _saved by the text_."

Gaze dropping down to her screen, she began to read whatever notification she had gotten. Within a second, her expression changed and her visage was poker faced. 

"Is something wrong?" Instead of replying, she showed him the messages.

Bossman: _You can have the two weeks off_

Bossman: _You don't have to get me that autograph_

Bossman: _My husband saw my messages and told me to stop being mean_ :(

Bossman: _He really likes you_

Bossman: … _but that doesn't mean I wouldn't appreciate it though_

"He said I can have the two weeks off anyway," Donghyuck licked his lips, reaching out and grasping her free hand, his fingers laced with hers. He thanked God that she didn't pull away and only looked at him quizzically. 

"Promise me something, Noona."

"What is it?"

"You won't get annoyed with me being glued to your side for two weeks because I know for a fact that the manager Hyungs will be," Her fingers tightened around his, sparks travelling up his spine.

"I will do everything in my power to annoy SM, but you could never annoy me," Ice cream dripped down the side of his cone, yet he couldn't give less of a shit. Not when her eyes were alive and twinkling with the power of a thousand galaxies. "Hyuck?"

"Yeah?" He replied, still a little starstruck.

"Your ice cream is dripping."

He looked at his hand, a mixture of pink and brown colouring his hand. "Oh shit," expletives leaving his lips before he could stop them, he looked around for something to clean it up with.

"Here," She gestured for his hand, taking the sticky mess on his hands and dabbing away at it using tissues. "What were you so focused on, hm?" 

His eyes never left her face, memorising every freckle and scar, wanting to forever remember her for the beauty she outwardly exuded. His lips parted, the single word leaving before he could stop it. 

"You."

* * *

 

" _Holy fuck,_ this place is huge," Was the first exclamation that left her lips as she followed Donghyuck further into the SM building. She had only seen the ground floor and a few of the rooms that first time she'd went, now it was like walking into the closet of narnia. 

"You get used to it," Donghyuck said, telling a little white lie because even he, all these years later, still managed to get lost in the massive building. "We just need to get that autograph. Does your boss' husband have a bias?"

"I think it's Minho-ssi. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't mind anyone," Nodding, he dipped his head at a passing staff member and waited for her to catch up. He didn't blame her for looking around, the members of the public weren't allowed this far and it was pretty interesting. "Where are we going anyway?"

"To sunbaenims 's recording studio, it's just one more floor up."

"Oh?" She breathed, jogging to reach his side, "won't we be disturbing them?" 

Shaking his head, they went up one more flight of stairs before reaching a sign that more or less told them that this was ShinEE's floor. "Not really. I think everyone apart from Taemin-sunbaenim will be enlisting so they won't be doing much. Just in case, I'll ask a staff member."

She paused, reaching out to take his wrist before changing her hand and letting her hands drop. 

"Donghyuck?" 

He turned around. "Yes?"

"Thank you so much," He blinked, smiling at her.

"You're welcome."

Head shaking, she waved her hands and her was a little confused. "No, thank for everything. Not just the autograph but everything. I'm really grateful for everything you've done for me in such a short amount of time. You've broken this fear I've had and even if I still have doubts, you make it easier to accept and ignore them. Donghyuck, you've done more for me than you'll ever know."

He didn't need to say anything because she had said everything that had any use being heard. All Donghyuck did was grin, almost splitting his cheeks in half as he regarded her. 

His entire life, he had wondered what his soulmate would be like. Even if it hadn't been a prevalent thought, it was something that had stuck to the back of his mind as he wondered whether they would truly be a good match.

And now he had the answer to his questions; a solid and hearty 'yes.' She was perfect, perfect for him.

Just before he could say anything more, he spotted a staff member coming out of the recording room and he flagged them over. "Excuse me!"

The man turned around, looking at Donghyuck with a fond smile. Everyone loved him, it was the rules. 

"How can I help you, Haechan-ah?" 

"If it's okay with you and sunbaenim, do you think you could ask him to sign my album? It's a gift for my friend and I really don't want to disappoint them," He handed over the album they had freshly bought just for signing and nailed the worker with a pleading look - knowing damn well no one could resist that look. 

Chewing his lip, the worker took it from him and nodded. "Yeah of course, wait here one minute, I'll get it signed. What would you like it to say?" 

"If it's okay, I'd like it to say 'thank you for everything'." Patting Donghyuck's head, the worker disappeared back into the recording studio while she gawked, amazed at his ability to charm anyone and everyone. 

"…I swear you're a demon," She finally spluttered out. "Please teach me how to have confidence like that."

Hands cupping his face, he batted his eyelashes and poured, doing his best aegyo that only really made her both cringe and laugh. "My amazing aegyo is my secret."

"I think I'll stay unconfident then," Just as he was about to protest, the worker opened the door again and handed back the album, a nice heart drawn on the front. 

"Here you are, Haechan-ah. Both Minho-ssi and Taemin-ssi were there so they both signed it. Is that what you wanted?"

"Yes!" He exclaimed, clutching it to his chest and bowing a full 90°, "that's exactly what I wanted, thank you"

Ruffling Donghyuck's hair, the man walked away with a well wish for him to take care, bowing his head briefly as he went past her. 

"There you go! Now you can send a picture as proof," Passing it over to her, she took a quick picture of the album with the name of the recording studio in the background, just as additional validation. 

"Thank you!" He watched as she placed it gently into her bag, her aura radiating happiness and joy. If he could have lived in this moment forever, he wouldn't have hesitated to press pause.

"Noona?" She looked up, his figure reflecting in the never ending galaxy of her eyes.

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're my soulmate."

Fingers reached out for him, squeezing his hand. "Me too Hyuck, me too."

* * *

 

When he finally returned home, it was clear to anyone and everyone that he was over the moon; though he didn't do anything outwardly apart from walk into the dorm with a goofy grin on his face.

However, someone else in the dorm did not share the same sentiment, running straight to the door once they heard it open and saw Donghyuck walk through. 

"Hey! We need to go, now," Dongyoung grabbed his arm, shoving on a coat and some of the first shoes he saw, dragging a confused Donghyuck behind him. "Why didn't you pick up your phone?"

"It died, why? What's wrong? I came home to charge it," Dongyoung tutted, mask and cap covering the majority of his face. "Hyung, where are we going?"

"The hospital rang. They couldn't get ahold of you so they called your emergency contact - which by the way, why is it Taeil-hyung?" He shook his head, muttering under his breath, "They said they found out something about your soulmate link and it could affect your future."

"What do you mean? I thought it stopped when we touched again?" He shrugged, ushering him down the stairs and onto the ground floor towards a parked black SUV. "Hyung?" 

"Hyuck, I really don't know. Let's just hope it's something small and nothing to worry about," Worry that had been forgotten about suddenly came back, rearing its head and taunting him. 

Just when he thought he was safe, he was met with the reality that no, he was not. 

"Yeah… Let's hope."


	8. Come

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics during speech and tweets is english

Loml: you're all sorted now?

MC: Hell yeah

Loml: That took the piss

Loml: At least you're still alive

Loml: Can't believe your boss gave you another two weeks

MC: Sue him

Loml: Maybe I will

Loml: But where are you staying anyway?

MC: With Yeonha

Loml: Fr ? 😭😭😭

Loml: You were crying over how small her place was

MC: Exactly why karma came for me 

MC: Can't afford the hotel for another two weeks ☠️

Loml: Broke life tingz

MC: Weirdo

Loml: I try

Loml: Imma go the fuck to sleep

MC: Sleep well love you

Loml: You too

She sighed, the sound barely audible yet still ringing in her ears as she leant further back into the futon laid rather pathetically on the floor. Karma really had gotten her for making fun of the pea sized flat, though she was grateful that she didn't need to spend anymore money for a room. 

The floor was cold, some of the chill from the wooden floor seeping into the futon and cooling it down. Her only saving grace was the thick blanket that was put over her while Yeonha moved into the 'living room' to watch TV. 

Scrolling quietly, she was just about to put her phone away and go to sleep when thundering footsteps rumbled the ground under her, her insides vibrating with the force. 

"Hey! Do you know about this?" Another phone screen was shoved in her face, her eyes narrowing to try and decipher what was being shown to her. 

On screen was twitter, the mixture of both korean and English tweets making her head swim before she decided to focus on one. 

'@minjoonie

Oh my god, is this really Haechan? I hope he's okay' 

It was followed by four pictures, albeit blurry ones. Of course it was, since it'd probably been taken as they rushed by. 

'@yangyuta

 _Is this something to do with his soulmate link? I thought it was over by now, didn't he find them?_ '

'@yerimslut

 _Doyoung looked mad worried, he didn't even stop to wave for anyone and there was no guards. I see any sasaengs and imma come over and personally commit murder._ '

'@jeonies

I wonder why they went out where everyone could see them, must have been an emergency. Hope all is well"

She sat up instantly, all laziness and boredom completely erased and instead replaced with heavy worry. Barely noticing that Yeonha had sat down beside her, she grabbed her phone and headed straight to contacts. 

Five times she tried calling, each time going to voicemail and leaving her with nothing to stabilise her thoughts with. Was he okay? He was completely fine when they had gone out earlier together, what had changed so quickly? 

There was a little voice of hope that said maybe it wasn't Donghyuck they were going to the hospital for, but judging from the pictures and the fact that Dongyoung would have gone by himself if it only concerned him, it wasn't plausible.

"*Why isn't he fucking answering?*" Muttering to herself, she swallowed thickly and tried calling again before giving up. It wasn't going through and he probably wasn't going to answer any time soon. " _Do you think it could be the link?_ "

"Maybe," Yeonha said, " _it seems possible. Your soulmate link is what?_ " 

Despite the fact she was currently drowning in her own anxieties Yeonha's willingness to accommodate her made her smile. God, this girl was an angel. 

" _The name is cor subsisto._ " 

" _Spell it for me please?_ " 

With a slight furrow in her brows, she wondered what on earth Yeonha was doing. She hadn't gone to the doctor for an official diagnosis since she had figured it out herself, so why was Yeonha bothering?

" _C o r s u b s i s t o,_ " With a thumbs up, Yeonha pressed enter and shuffled up, practically glued to her side with how close she was. (Then again, that probably was due to the lack of space in the flat overall.)

Yeonha scrolled over the pages that she was already painfully familiar with, having originally spent hours looking over this soulmate link only to find the barest minimum information. It really was rare and it was frustrating as hell. 

 _"Bullshit, why is there nothing talking about it?_ " Unable to stop her laugh at her friend's outburst, she sympathised heavily. "You really are one of a kind."

"I'll take that as a compliment, thank you," With a pout, Yeonha swatted at her and went back to staring at the screen, going onto the 7 and 8th pages of the naver search. "Wait, you're using naver? I searched on google."

"Ah," Yeonha said, snapping her fingers as an idea came into her head, "let me look in korean. English doesn't work as well in naver."

Not really seeing what the difference would be, she shrugged and let her do as she pleased, her own attention back on the endless messages she was sending to Donghyuck. 

MC: Donghyuck?

MC: What's going on?

MC: You're alright, aren't you?

MC: Please reply

MC: Is Doyoung-ssi okay?

MC: Please message me when you can

Chewing on her cheek was doing nothing except fill her mouth with a slight copper taste, a grimace making its home on her features as she exhaled in defeat. There wasn't a use in sending any more spam to him. 

Heat from Yeonha's body seeped into her own, tiring her out a little bit more as she laid her head on her shoulder. Really, she would have put effort into reading the korean characters on screen, but her mind was a little hazy around the edges, both from worry and dreariness.

Yeonha pressed onto a site, the page taking a little while to load; and once it did, it really wasn't anything to cheer over either.

" _That's ugly as fuck._ " Came her comment, earning a side glance and a shake of the head. 

The website, to put it simply, looked like it was designed by a toddler who had just learnt how to put its daubings online. It was a graphic designers worst nightmare: the bold and flashing banner on the top hurt her eyes, along with the neon yellow font on the grey screen. Pop up ads reared their heads from the corners of the page, images of large breasted anime women making her scoff. 

" _I thought porn was illegal in Korea?_ " That earned another smack.

" _It is,_ " Yeonha offered weakly, ears tinted red as she rushed to scroll past it. Damn hentai adverts were everywhere. " _I'm not surprised a website like this has advertising for such crap._ "

Just as her mouth opened to ask why she was still on that god forsaken site, Yeonha had scrolled down to the text and gasped. "Look! Something about the link!"

Despite the fact the website was seedy and stupid at best, she was interested in whatever she could get her hands on - even if she had to read it in stupid yellow font on a grainy grey background.

'Cor subsisto is rare and only ever appears in two people at a time, usually hundreds of years after that other soulmates have died. It's hard to track this link down because of the time distance and lack of records, but there are some. The earliest recorded case was believed to be in 675bc where a noble woman had written about her attraction to a female servant before they died simultaneously 6 days later despite both being healthy.'

"What is it saying then? That it's uncommon?" She asked dumbly, "I already know that."

"Did you even bother to read it all?" At the shake of her head, Yeonha sighed, pointing back to the annoying yellow. "Read it then. It's actually pretty interesting."

'The more known symptoms of this link are triggered by touch of any kind and the heart slowly slowing down over 6 days before both parties die. The only way this can be stopped is by touching again before the 6 days are up. Though a lesser known symptom of this is seeing dreams of their soulmate, supposedly of their past lives. 

This link is rumoured to join the original soulmates due to its connection to the heart and only appearing in two people at once. Some versions of the origin story support this theory and others do not. Whether or not this is true is hard to confirm.'

She tilted her head, trying to make sense of what she was reading. " _What is this trying to say?_ "

"I- I think it's saying that it's possible you and Donghyuck were the original soulmates. It's not that hard to believe either, it's such a rare link and it goes back so far while most links are more recent," Yeonha's eyes are wide, staring at her like she held all the answers to the universe. "You two were the ones that started everything."

Deafening silence filled the room, her irises flickering between Yeonha's awed gaze and the information. Fingers dug into the futon, and uncomfortable feeling spreading throughout her chest. 

" _Yeonha… You don't believe this shit, do you?_ " Desperate to hear the word 'no' pass her lips, she was severely disappointed by the head nod. " _Look at this website. It's a joke. It's not even designed nicely and you believe it? Please be more sensible._ "

"Who cares if it looks ugly? A diamond caked in mud is still a diamond," Falling silent, Yeonha took this as an opportunity to continue. "Have you dreamt about him? Any weird things after you met Haechan?" 

Her nod was slow and tentative whereas her mouth was quick to make up and excuse. "Who cares? It's a part of the link, that doesn't mean we were the originals."

"But-"

"Yeonha," She spoke sternly, looking at her elder with a deep set ache in her bones, "drop it please. That doesn't explain why Donghyuck is in hospital and fighting over this isn't helping anyone. I won't believe it unless there's something official to back it up."

Yeonha stared at her like she wanted to argue some more, however she respected her wishes and dropped the topic with a heavy sigh. "Alright," She got up and rolled her shoulders, making her way over to her bedroom, "sleep well, okay? We'll talk tomorrow."

"You too, sweet dreams," The light switch was flipped to off and the room fell into an all consuming darkness where she could no longer even see her hands in front of her face. 

Lungs expanding and decreasing, her body slowly lowered and her eyes closed. Buzzing in her head kept her awake for a little while longer, concern for her soulmate nagging away at her until she has worn herself out and unable to keep herself from falling into the gentle embrace of sleep.

And sure enough, she dreamt of older times where the world was both simple yet endlessly complicated.

* * *

 

When she awoke, it was with a start and with blood rushing past her ears, heartbeat thundering in her ears as images of lush green grass and dried blood faded away from her mind's eye.

Cold sweat covered her entire body, hands trembling ever so slightly as she reached out to touch something: anything.

" _My god,_ " Hissing softly, the sound of a ringtone suddenly cut through the thick silence that hung over the room like a cloak. Screen lighting up, she squinted at the sudden brightness and read the name 'Donghyuck.'

Suddenly feeling energetic, she grabbed the device and swiped to answer it, pressing it hastily to her ear and breathing out a shaky 'hello.'

"Donghyuck? Is this you?"

The lack of response had the hair on the back of her neck rising, the urge to shout at him to reply clawing at her throat and chest incessantly. A solid five seconds passed with nothing said; she wanted to scream, eyes closing a she took the moments to compose herself.

It wouldn't help anyone if she was also highly strung. Donghyuck probably needed someone calm to speak to.

"Is everything alright?" She spoke again and this time, she was blessed with a reply. 

"Yeah uh, hi, Noona," She would have laughed if she had the energy, instead only managing to reply with his name in a slightly more exasperated tone. 

He got the message pretty quickly, his voice low and a little sniffly - it was clear he had been crying. "I guess you found out I was at the hospital?"

"Mhm, your fans are diligent."

"I guess so," Pausing, Donghyuck sniffled again and there was a sound like that of a duvet moving against the microphone. "It was about our link. Doyoung-Hyung got a call from the hospital and they asked me to go as soon as I could."

"Oh," She replied, keeping her voice steady even if it was for his sake, "what did you find out?" 

Donghyuck's volume was low and she was straining to hear it. Nonetheless, she didn't pressure him to speak any louder. "When we first touched, we had 6 days to find eachother again, right?"

"Yes."

"The hospital said that would happen again. They saw it with the previous soulmates that had it, but it was hard to trace back because it was so long ago."

He was speaking in riddles and it was beginning to frustrate her. Even so, she maintained that calm and level voice she was already using. Really, there was no use in getting angry now when he was in a noticeably vulnerable state. 

"It's not 6 weeks this time, but 6 months. If we go 6 months without contact, then we will die." Dead quiet fell over them both, only to be broken by his mumble of 'I'm sorry, Noona.'

He had apologised for something for something that was in no way his fault, yet she couldn't bring herself to tell him it was alright. Donghyuck was apologising in advance for everything she knew she would have to suffer through - the sorry was only grazing the tip of the iceberg. 

What was she supposed to say when she found out her life would never be the same again?

The darkness began blurring, tears of helpless desperation stinging the back of her eyes before she blinked them away. Crying wouldn't help, not when she needed to get her head straight. 

"How do you know?" She questioned, hearing Donghyuck inhale shakily before replying. That made her feel guilty, obviously he was taking the news hard too. "You are okay, right?"

"Yeah I'm fine " He answered a little too quickly to be truthful, she didn't pry. "And the hospital told us. They have records and stuff to back it up but I wasn't really paying much attention, it was kind of a shock, you know?" 

Playing off his nerves with a soft chuckle, she knew the nerves were eating away at him. If she wanted proper answers for this topic, she would have to ask Dongyoung.

"Don't worry about it, I understand. I would have panicked too."

Another silence fell and she noted the time on her phone; 06:24.

"Did they say anything else?"

He hesitated, not knowing whether he should carry on. "I- Noona, I don't want to lie to you."

"Then don't, you can tell me anything."

"They said there might be a way," The world stuttered, coming to a complete standstill as his words hung in the air. Every cell in her body was on high alert, her breath held and head light. "To stop the link.'

She would have been lying if she said she didn't feel any instant rush of relief, the emotion flooding throughout her being before being immediately replaced by shame. Why was she so eager to get rid of the link just when she had made peace with it?

'Because you're not cut out for this life,' A voice nagged, 'Donghyuck is hindered with you. You have your own life and so does he.'

Her lack of response must have scared him, his soft voice cutting through the suffocating stillness with a 'hello?'

"What is it? How do you remove the link?"

"…I'm sorry, Noona," He sounded choked, like he was holding back his own emotions, "I can't tell you that."

It angered her; annoyed her that he would keep such information to himself when he knew how on edge she was with everything. Donghyuck was holding hostage the water she needed to survive.

And why? Why would he do something like that? She wondered despite knowing the answer. The reason why was clear though she didn't want to think of it at all.

"Donghyuck, don't be selfish-" She started, voice controlled before being cut off by a surprisingly strong tone. 

"No, I'm not telling you," There was resolve intertwined with his words, refused to bend to her whims. "I didn't want to hide it from you, which is why I told you. But if you think I'm telling you what it is so you can go and risk your life to do something stupid, it's not happening."

It shocked her, it really did, to hear such stern words leave his mouth when she had never heard anything except happiness and understanding from him. Donghyuck was fun and loving, yet still respectful - not cold and authoritative.

"Hyuck…" Nothing more could be said. She was unable to muster the will to ask him again. 

"I- i'm going to hang up. Bye, Noona," the ending tone played in her ear before she could breathe, let alone respond. The sound was almost mocking. 

It took a few seconds but then it caught up, his refusal to give her the easy way out and the sheer helplessness she felt. Everything was piling back up again and this time she had no idea how to deal with it. 

The animalistic desire to throw her phone flashed in her mind, fingers tightening threateningly before she forced herself to breathe and calm down. Getting upset was natural, going berserk was not. 

However, she knew one thing and that was that she could not stand to be alone with her thoughts any more. She was sure she would explode should she sit there and mull over any thing else. 

Yeonha was still sleeping soundly in her room, the soft sounds of her resting making its way through the thin walls and she didn't want to disturb her. 

So that left one person: Junghwa.

MC: Junghwa?

MC: Are you awake?

Time ticked by and she felt sillier with every second that went past. Bothering other people with her problems was selfish and hypocriti-

Jungie: Yeah

Jungie: What's up my favourite girl?

She smiled, thoughts stilling.. 

MC: Shh

MC: Nothing much…

Jungie: Something's keeping you up

Jungie: Want to talk?

MC: Please…? I have a lot on my mind

Jungie: We can meet at the park next to Yeonha's house.

MC: I would like that

MC: Thank you

Jungie: Anything for you

Jungie: It's cold out, bring a coat

MC: Okay :)!

And so she left the house, making sure to not make a sound before she went. 

* * *

 

Junghwa was right, was the first thing that popped into her head as she walked out, the freezing winds hitting her face and making her eyes water. While the coat kept in most of the heat, a shiver or two did escape her. 

Overcast clouds hung in the sky, grey and domineering. Funny how the weather seemed to reflect all the inner turmoil she felt. 

The park wasn't too far away from where she currently was, around a minute or two's walk if she hurried. Scurrying past the few stragglers on the road, she headed past the park gates and sat on the bench nearest the entrance - she could move once Junghwa was there. 

A few minutes passed where nothing happened. Wind rushed through branches of trees and the sounds of leaves crunching punctuated the air. Birds sang and the grass was covered in gleaming morning dew. There was so much she noticed once she had nothing to do except take in her surroundings. For a moment her head was empty, nothing was grounding her to reality and nothing to hold her back either.

For a moment she was free.

Then that moment was broken, a hunched figure walking in with a large parka wrapped around their shoulders.

Their head turned, looking around with slightly furrowed brows before landing on her and lighting up in recognition.

" _Hello, pretty girl,_ " His silly use of english followed by his cheek splitting smile lightened her mood considerably.

"Hello, handsome boy," Came her reply as she stood up, nudging his shoulder gently with her own, "thank you for coming."

Junghwa shrugged in a carefree manner, his hands pulled out of his pocket as he led them further into the park and away from praying eyes. He guided them to a small pond, a single bench situated on the edge near the sleeping ducks. It was surreal to see the entire world still so grouchy while she was wide awake. 

"Sit," and she did, his warmth heating up the freezing cold bench just a little. "Is something bothering you?"

She nodded curtly.

"Would you like to talk about it?" 

Another nod.

"Tell me," He said softly and she couldn't help but comply, melting into his kindness and willingness to help. "I understand english very well. You can say it in english if it helps you."

"Thank you," Inhaling, the freezing air chilling the back of her throat and making it hard to breathe. It was hard to speak, to pour her worries into the open when all she had allowed herself to do was let them bubble in her gut and simmer away like a toxic poison. 

" _I feel so trapped. I found out that my soulmate link will affect me for the rest of my life, not just for the first time we met. If we don't touch every 6 months, we die. I don't live in Korea, Junghwa, I never planned to live here either. My entire life is back home: my job, my friends, my family, how can I leave all that behind?_ " Junghwa didn't speak, knowing she needed to get everything out of her system before he offered any condolences or advice. " _I don't even want to tell Donghyuck this because he'll feel bad. It's not his fault or mine but I want someone to blame. I can't afford to fly out every 6 months either and I doubt he would have the time. I'm frustrated with him actually, almost angry._ "

Raising a brow, Junghwa asked why.

" _Because he's hiding something from me. He called me earlier to tell me the news about the link and he said there was a way to stop it, yet when I asked what it was, he refused to tell me._ "

"Why would he do that?"  

"He knows I would do it," He fell silent, knowing too well that she was being honest. It didn't take a genius to figure out that she was struggling with both her wants and her morals. Donghyuck had a reason for his actions though that didn't mean he was correct. 

" _It would be so much better if neither of us needed to do anything. I don't even mind being the one to do something to stop the link if it's risky, I'm not the idol,_ " Her exhale was tired and full of exhaustion, "I think the universe made a mistake."

Junghwa's hand was warm, placed lightly on hers on that held tightly onto her trousers. Though no words came out of his mouth, there was enough conveyed just with his gaze. His thumb rubbed her knuckles comfortingly. 

"Would you like me to say anything, or did you want an ear?"

"Say something."

"The universe didn't make a mistake," He insisted with so much force behind it that it surprised her, eyes wide with questioning. "I think that it was more than correct to put you two together and even if you don't think so now, you'll realise later on. Haechan shouldn't have kept the thing about the link a secret but I'm pretty sure you understand why he did it," A nod, "if you really want to stop the link, then think it through first and then ask him. It's too hasty for you to think about that when you still have time to figure things out. 6 months is a while and you might have a change of heart."

Despite knowing no one would ever have all the answers she was looking for, he had calmed down the screaming voice in her mind that was repeatedly reiterating that everything was going wrong. Nothing was going wrong, just a diverging a little from the preset plan she had (something that seemed to be happening all too frequently while in Korea.)

The cold has lessened, the cold grip around her heart melting a little as she squeezed his hand in gratitude. "Thank you, I appreciate you being here a lot."

"No problem," the solemn air around them faded, dark clouds lifting and sunlight peeking through, "anything for my friend."

Laughing, her exhale melted into the air as a beautiful cloud. "How about we get some breakfast? I'm feeling a bit hungry."

And of course, as soon as food was mentioned he was up and nodding, dimples digging into his cheek as he practically bounced on his feet. Really, she could liken him to a puppy and the only difference between the two would be their physical appearance. 

"Do you even have to ask? Food's on me!" Before she could even speak, he was running away with his fingers forming an L against his forehead, tongue sticking out mockingly. 

"What? Jung- stop running! JUNGHWA!"

* * *

 

Currently there was two things she was doing. 1, picking at the crumbs on her plate and 2, watching Junghwa devour an entire stack of souffle pancakes. They were disappearing faster than she could blink and it was a little unnerving if not impressive.  

"Can Yeonha taste the food?" 

He shrugged, patting his stomach and pretending to unbuckle his belt - only gaining an eye roll at his antics. "I think she can? I'm really not sure. I think strong flavours come across more often now that we know each other."

"Oh," Eyes roaming over the remaining pancake, he caught her staring and shoved it towards her with a gesture implying for her to help herself; Junghwa certainly wasn't going to stuff it down his pie hole. "Thanks."

Food was spooned into her mouth, the taste of fluffy sugary clouds covering her tastebuds before she swallowed. "What soulmate origin story did you hear?"

"Hm? Do you mean the originals?"

"Yeah," She cut out another piece, "every place has a slightly different version. Which one have you heard growing up?" 

He scratched the nape of his neck, leaning back in his seat. "I've heard a few but the one that's stuck with me the most was the one I first heard."

"Want to share?" 

"Why not?" Brown eyes were cast towards the ceiling as he tried his best to recall the tale from his childhood. It was the one he had heard only once yet it still remained with him 23 years later. "It was of two people, a slave and a prince - though, they changed slave for a servant because we were little kids. The prince was due to be king and to choose someone to marry, but he had fallen in love with the slave and wished to marry them. They would sneak out and spend hours under the stars and next to the rivers where they spoke like equals."

"Oh? What else?" It was always fascinating to hear how the story evolved depending on which country it was being told in. She had heard her own version where it was a runaway noble and peasant in the countryside that had fallen in love. 

Placing a finger to his chin, he hummed in thought before snapping his fingers. "He was planning to tell his father that he refused to marry anyone apart from the slave, however on the day he had told his father, they were no where to be found. Apparently they had been condemned to death and by the time the prince had managed to find them, they had died. The prince never stopped mourning and eventually passed away without ever marrying. The gods took pity and decided to make sure that they would find each other in their next lives by giving them the link that would mean they were always together while also creating a system for soulmates."

"I think your version is a lot more interesting than that one I heard about a peasant dying of being overworked."

His laugh was boisterous and full of amusement, so contagious in fact that, she had to laugh along with him. Slowly, he quietened down and his voice lowered to almost a whisper while he leant on the table with his head in his hands. A sudden, rather strange, aura of teasing and seriousness surrounded him - like he was going to reveal the secret of the century whilst cracking a joke.

"I think you and Haechan were the originals. Everything matches up and I don't know... I just have a hunch," It wasn't hard to see why Junghwa and Yeonha had been fated to be, with the same thought process and conclusions, it was best described as scary. 

Brows furrowing, she tutted. "Stop being silly. You and Yeonha say exactly the same things even when you're not together, it's kind of creepy." 

Delivering a joking slap to her arm, he shook his head and waved the waitress over. "Well, we're both not wrong. You could have been a slave in your past life."

"God," She groaned, nudging his foot from under the table, "shut up."

Whether or not they both had any truth to their statements could be debated still, yet she could safely say that she didn't feel disgusted with the idea. And that, in itself, was an improvement. 

* * *

 

"Has Haechan called back yet?" Yeonha questioned, slurping on broth and peering at her over the rim of the pretty ceramic bowl. 

Sighing heavily, she shook her head. Not one call had been returned to her and she had the sneaking suspicion that he was actively avoiding picking up; a rather childish response though understandable nonetheless. 

"Call him again," It was phrased as more of a command, dark eyes boring into her and practically forcing her to swipe across on his contact. The screen lit up, the dialling tone filling the room and she put it on speaker, knowing Yeonha was too polite to outwardly say she wanted to be nosy about a matter like this. 

After the third ring, she was ready to hang up and try again when, to both her and Yeonha's amazement, it was answered. Shock rendered her silent, the line crackling for a split second before a voice cut through. 

"Hello?" 

The bowl made a clattering noise as it was put down, her expression contorting into one of bewilderment. 'That's not Haechan,' Yeonha mouthed and she nodded dumbly. 

"Uh, hi? Who's this?"

"Oh, it's Taeil," He responded and she could have kicked herself for not recognising him. "Donghyuck isn't here right now, I can leave a message for him if you want? I just thought I'd answer because you've been calling for a while."

"Right, I was just wondering if you know where he is? I need to speak to him," Taeil, bless his soul, took it in his stride and replied with with his normal calm and stable tone.

"He and Doyoung left quickly after they came back from the hospital. They haven't been back since."

Both she and Yeonha pulled a face. Why had he disappeared and left his phone for the second time? It was more worrisome than anything else, especially since he wasn't communicating with her either.

"Damn," Cursing lowly, she straightened herself up, "It's just that he refused to tell me about the link and now I can't get a hold of him. I'll call back later then, thank you Tae-"

"Wait!" He yelled a little too loudly, "sorry. I just wanted to ask if you would like to come over, to wait for him," The offer was nice and even though Yeonha was silently insisting she accepted, she felt like she would be intruding. 

"I wouldn't want to bother you…"

"You won't be, we're all in our rooms anyway. You wouldn't be disturbing anyone," Taeil inhaled deeply, contemplating what to say next, "and also because I think you would want to hear something in person."

Unspoken words screamed in the few seconds of quiet. She winced. "Okay, I'll come."

"And please," He chuckled good naturedly, "no more food. We still haven't finished the other snacks you brought."

"Are you sure?"

"100%."

"Then alright. I'll see you soon, Taeil-ssi."

"See you soon."

The call ended screen burnt its image into her mind, shaking fingers wrapping around her phone as she pressed the power off button. Now all she could see was her own reflection, the limit to her patience almost reaching its end. 

"You're going, right?" Yeonha was not stupid in the slightest, able to see the way her shoulders slumped and the strain it was. "You don't look too well."

"I know," She said a little bitterly though still managing the faintest of smiles for her, "I'm just tired."

Biting her lip, Yeonha wished she could do more to ease her friend's endless burden. The most she could currently do was offer her support and a shoulder to lean on. "You're doing amazing, don't burn yourself out. _I love you._ "

"I love you too," Getting up, she rubbed her eyes and stretched, "I'll be back soon. I'll give you a text, but don't stay up if it's late."

A warm hand grasped hers, small and delicate fingers interlocking with her own. It was a tiny action yet it still managed to make her eyes prickle. Lips brushed against the back of her hand, lingering there for a few seconds before she was pulled into a hug. 

"You're so brave," Yeonha whispered, meaning every word, "We'll get through this."

"Thank you," Nothing more was said as she left the flat, the only sounds being that of her own breathing and the city surrounding her. 

While stability might not have known her name anymore, she would still fight to hold the universe accountable for its actions.

* * *

 

The doorbell barely went off for more than a second before the door was pulled open, her hand still raised awkwardly in midair as Taeil's smiling form greeted her. 

He wore simple clothing, obviously not planning on going out and impressing anyone. A simple white shirt and khaki shorts adorned his figure, making his handsome visage the local point. She doubted she would ever get over just how beautiful everyone in the group was - especially a certain few people. 

"Hello, Taeil-ssi," She spoke, lowering her hand and bowing her head a little in respect. 

"Hi," Stepping aside, he motioned for her to come in, "you don't need to be so formal, you're our friend."

Stepping inside, she made quick work of removing her shoes and coat while simultaneously mulling over Taeil's drastic change in personality. From videos she had seen and their previous interaction, she had pegged him as a quiet man, not shy but a person of few words. Maybe that was why she had been so stunned when he had been the one to pick up and speak when the most likely candidate would have been Dongyoung.

"Really? I'm glad that's the case," She felt at ease with him around, like there was a caring older sibling watching over her and not a beautiful acquaintance. 

"Could you come with me? We'll have more privacy in my room than the living room," He began walking and she sped up a little to walk at his side. 

"Depends, are you going to kill me?" A stupid joke that should have earned a huff at most, made Taeil laugh out loud, smile reaching his cheeks.

"You really are his soulmate," Taeil shook his head, "I won't murder you, don't worry."

Opening a cream coloured door, he held it open and waited for her to follow before closing the door with one fluid movement. His room wasn't too different structurally from Donghyuck's, however the decoration choices were worlds apart. 

In one half of the room, there was a bunks and the other, a single sized bed. A pale pink covered one wall that was then covered with fairy lights and polaroid pictures of the members. Though she couldn't quite see them from where she was, she recognised Xiaojun and Jungwoo in one.

While she was glancing around the room, she noticed a figure on the bottom bunk and almost jumped in fright, realising seconds later that it was just someone sleeping. 

Taeil, noticing her line of sight, shook his head and patted the bed. "Don't mind Sicheng. Yuta is out for a while, so you don't need to worry about being disturbed."

Eyes slowly dragging away from Sicheng, she nodded and sat down, shuffling up so he could also sit.

He fiddled with his fingers, trying to think of a way to express what he was thinking without it being overly complicated. "I'm pretty sure you know about Hyuck going to the hospital, right?"

"Yeah."

"He called you, didn't he?" Another nod. 

"Donghyuck said that we would die if we didn't have contact again for 6 months, but-" Cutting herself off, she inhaled sharply and focused on the fluffy duvet that covered Sicheng instead, "he said that there was a way to stop it. He refused to tell me it."

Poking his cheek with his tongue, Taeil hummed. "That's right," Her expression remained blank and he had to take a moment before carrying on. It was odd seeing herpoker face when he had seen her joking and giggling just a day ago. "It isn't my place to tell you but I doubt Donghyuck will. The hospital hasn't confirmed it and it's only a theory, but they said that the link could possibly be stopped with a heart transplant."

It could only be the cold hard whip of irony that cracked against her back, stealing her breath away as the blood that pumped through her veins turned ice cold. Feeling was lost in her fingers, jaw hanging agape as she stared at Taeil wordlessly. 

" _A heart transplant?_ " She repeated, laughing a little ludicrously at the end in disbelief, eyes suddenly darting everywhere apart from his face. " _Shit, you've got to be fucking with me._ "

Nails dug into her palms, faint half crescents carved into the flesh as those two words bounced around and repeated in her head. 

Why were such drastic measures needed to live a normal life? She thought bitterly, a foul taste in her mouth. 

Her lack of speech said enough for Taeil. He chewed nervously on the inside of his cheek. "They don't know if it will work 100% but they have a very strong belief it will."

Her breathing was shaky and with one wrong move it would all go to shit. Barely composed, she could hear her heart beat pounding in her ears. 

Would such a huge risk even be worth it? What happens if she went through with the surgery and the link didn't go away? What if the surgery went wrong? What if-

A million and one questions filled her thoughts too rapidly to comprehend. Though the room was large in size, it felt too small and only added to the suffocating feeling in her chest. 

"Are you considering it?" 

Taeil asked in a whisper, almost afraid to break the manufactured calm that she had made. And as soon as he had spoken the last syllable, her resolve broke. 

"I- Maybe?" Voice cracking midway, she refused to look at anything for too long for fear of having her vision blur. She detested feeling helpless, yet that seemed to be one of the main things she was experiencing these days. "I don't know. Wouldn't it be easier? If I could stop the link then there would be nothing forcing me and Haechan together. He could focus on his life and I could go home without a worry. It would be better for us overall, but there's something stopping me."

 Yes, getting that surgery (if it proved to be successful) would solve all of her current worries and problems, and yes it would allow them to turn back into strangers. Nonetheless, there was something in the back of her mind that refused to let her give up everything so simply. The universe had never made a mistake before, trying to play god could only end disastrously. 

"(y/n)," Taeil was firm, startling her enough that she flinched slightly. His gaze softened and he looked as though he wanted to comfort her. "That's something you have to figure out on your own. The surgery isn't guaranteed to work and you know that it wouldn't be a simple operation either. If you want the surgery, it should be because it's something you've thought about and are happy to do. Donghyuck, as harsh as it is, doesn't matter as much as you do in this."

They both knew what he was implying. Donghyuck would never be allowed to go through with such a risk heavy operation, so the only person who had full agency over the choice was her. 

"If there was no link, Haechan could easily forget me and there wouldn't be a chance of me interfering with his idol life. Doesn't he want that?" Desperation was evident in her words, hands curled into fists with knuckles turning pale. 

"But what about after? We won't be idols forever. You might think you're helping him but is that really the option you want to take? You're allowed to be selfish, he's not the only person with the link."

A quiet choked up noise spilled past her lips, frustration reaching its boiling point and spilling over as she frantically wiped at her face. It hardly worked because she couldn't stop crying, tears flowing freely no matter how hard she attempted to suppress them.

"I just-" His hand was gentle as he rubbed her shoulder, saying nothing as he watched her crumble under the weight of the universe. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do, Taeil-ssi and I feel horrible. I'm the older one, yet I know nothing. I want to disappear and that's so selfish of me," Breathing heavily, her chest constricted.

She hardly noticed that Sicheng had sat up, reaching towards the tissue box and slowly holding it in front of her. She couldn't even bring herself to be embarrassed. 

"I don't think you're being selfish," Sicheng said quietly, looking her dead in the eyes, "I think it's reasonable."

He looked a little dazed, his hair sticking up and clothing wrinkled, though his gaze was honest and sincere - tears slowing down. "You never asked to nearly die and you never wanted to change your entire life for your soulmate. No one would ask for that and no one blames you, especially not Hyuck. He admires you a lot and it takes a lot of guts to do what you're doing, and so selflessly too."

She blinked, stunned. "R-really?"

"Really," Sicheng always did have a pretty smile and it made the ache in her chest lessen to see it, "you're doing better than I would understand that situation. And like Taeil-hyung said, you should think of this for yourself. You have months to figure it out, there's no urgency."

Dabbing at her face with a bundled tissue, she swallowed and managed to smile back. "Thank you, Winwin-ssi. I appreciate that a lot. And I'm sorry for crying."

"You're welcome, and you can just call me Sicheng," Handing her another tissue, Taeil shuffled forward this time and patted her back gently. 

"Don't apologise for that. I would have cried too," His attempt at comfort worked because she knew he was being genuine - Taeil was a soft hearted man and everyone knew it. 

Even though her eyes were rimmed with red and there were still tear tracks visible on her skin, she felt much better than she had in awhile. She had time and she understood that now - rushing would only make things worse. 

"I-i think I'll go now, I've disturbed you both en-"

"No!" They cried out, stopping her in her tracks. 

"I mean, you're welcome to stay until Hyuck is back. I don't think he'll be very long now anyway, you should stay," Taeil repeated with no room for arguments. "You can take my bed, if you don't mind Sicheng being here."

"I can't take your bed, where will you stay?" 

"I'll steal someone else's," His grin was proud as he spoke his next sentence, "they can't refuse me anyway, I'm the eldest."

It made her laugh to think of Taeil sneaking into someone's bed and annoying them into letting him stay there. "Are you sure, Taeil-ssi?"

"Just Taeil, and yes! I'm sure!" Knowing it would be rude to argue anymore, she accepted wordlessly and stretched, rubbing her eyes a little. "I'll go now. Feel free to call if you need anything."

A chorus of 'bye' followed him out of the room as he left, the door shutting behind him as he waved. It was only then that she realised how tired she was, a yawn escaping her as she laid down on the soft, pliable bed. 

A few minutes of silence passed and Sicheng watched her breathing even out, her back facing him but her breathing still audible. He noted that she was a lot more quiet and a lot less annoying than his hyung. 

His own head lowered to his pillow as his eyes closed slowly. "(y/n)?"

Her words were slurred from drowsiness. "Yes?" 

"Sleep well."

A smile was clear in her voice as she acknowledged him.

"You too, Sicheng."


End file.
